Friday, March 30, 2007

World's Most Adorable & Desirable Woman


Every time I think of her my soul lets out a long bittersweet sigh. Why bittersweet? Well, bitter because it's unlikely I'll ever get to meet her - what more woo her? - so I'll just have to live in perpetual hope that someday through pure serendipity she'll stumble on my blog and leave a friendly comment (and her email address :-).

Sweet, of course, because she never fails to make me smile from ear to ear like the village idiot. Her earthy - yet somehow ethereal - beauty is almost too good to be true, but I know it's absolutely real. No botox, no photoshop, nosirree. On stage she moves like a cat, her grace so natural it almost hurts to watch. She's SEXY without even trying. She's one of a kind, in a class of her own, incomparable.

Sade Adu is a natural-born incarnation of Aphrodite. I've adored her from the very first moment I laid eyes on her video image, singing Smooth Operator. That was way back in the 1980s, when she first burst upon the scene from out of nowhere. Here's a funky B&W music video of Cherish The Day I found on YouTube...



Born Helen Folasade Adu on 16 January, 1959, in Ibadan, Nigeria, to Bisi Adu (a Nigerian economics lecturer) and Anne Hayes (an English nurse), Sade moved to England at age 4 with her mother and brother after the marriage broke up. She studied fashion design in London between 1977 and 1980, and opened a men's boutique with a friend, Gioia Mellor, who still designs many of Sade's stage outfits. She also worked part time as a photographic model during that period, which explains her amazing posture and poise. Friends asked her to do a bit of singing with a Latin-soul group named Arriva - and that's when Sade's talent as a songwriter first emerged. Smooth Operator was among her first attempts and I bet there's hardly a person on Earth who hasn't fallen in love with her slinky, sultry vocals on this unforgettable tune.


Sade subsequently joined a group called Pride - where she met Stuart Matthewman (saxophone, guitar, programming), Paul Spencer Denman (bass), and Paul Anthony Cook (drums). They got on really well and decided to form a splinter group called... Sade. Keyboardist Andrew Hale came aboard in 1983, Paul Cook was replaced, and this has been the core band that propelled Sade Adu to worldwide iconic status overnight.

In 1986 Sade moved to Madrid, Spain, and three years later she married Carlos Scola, a Spanish filmmaker, but the partnership proved shortlived. She moved back to London for a few years before relocating in the mid-1990s to Jamaica, where she moved in with a producer named Bob Morgan. A daughter, Ila, was born to them on 21 July 1996 - but domestic bliss eluded her, and Sade once again returned to London, where she shares a Victorian mansion with her older brother Banji. It would appear that the world's most adorable and desirable woman has never been lucky in love, even though she's adulated by millions - men as well as women.

Sade seems indifferent to her celebrity status, rarely granting interviews ("I'm not shy or reclusive... I just spend my time with people rather than journalists."). Rumor has it that she became depressed and dropped out of the music business. However, in September 2001, Sade thrilled her loyal fans by going on tour with her Lovers Live concert, backed by veteran musician friends from the old days - and she was in absolutely superb form, winsomely fetching in a gold cheongsam, every inch the fully mature diva. Lovers Live is my all-time favorite concert DVD, impeccably directed by Sophie Muller. You can view a few numbers from this exciting tour on YouTube (just search Sade Adu and run through the list of offerings). Sade's most recent performance was at the Royal Albert Hall on 8 December 2004, when she sang a new song, Mum, specially written for the "Voices For Darfur" charity concert. Well, Sade, if you ever chance upon this... pop me an email, please. I promise you, I'm not like any man you've ever met... I'll give you THE Kiss of Life!



Muuuaaaaaaaah! (How can you put up with such unmitigated ADUlation, Sade?)

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Walt Disney Women... Vava-voooom!

This is a confession of sorts. My 11-year-old son Ahau and I... we share the same taste in women.

Ever since his eyes could focus he's been fond of watching videos. An early favorite was Peter Pan, which he could happily watch several times a day. One day he discovered the rewind button on the VCR (those were pre-VCD/DVD days). That was it. Ahau became the Instant Replay Man, compulsively and obsessively replaying his favorite bits of every video.

One day, I caught the little tyke pressing his face to the TV screen. He was trying to kiss Tinkerbell. I had to laugh. When I was a kid, I was myself intensely intrigued by Peter Pan's sexy little sidekick.

X-rated Tinker Bell
The irresistibly cute pixie with the hourglass figure and gossamer wings and magic dust that could sweep you off your feet with happy, horny thoughts!

In fact, I named my second daughter after my childhood sex symbol - but when she grew up she decided to drop the "Tinker" and add an 'e' to the "Bell" - and it has worked out beautifully for her (see the glam shot she sent me at left...)

Ah, what an absolute prodigy he was, that fellow, Walter Elias Disney (1901-1966). His unmitigated genius deserves a series of in-depth studies - but this is not the time and place to dwell on this supremely inspired icon of animation art. Instead, I want to ramble on a little about the fetishistic femmes Mr Disney conjured from his fertile imagination. Remember, this is America in the early 1950s - the heyday of Life magazine's Norman Rockwell covers and clean-cut Sunday schoolkids, when the only erotic art you might find would be on the back of naughty playing cards. Overt sexuality wouldn't come into fashion until Hugh Hefner unleashed his Playboy Bunnies on the world in 1953 - the same year, incidentally, that Disney released Peter Pan.

Ahau's next major crush was on Ariel, the redhead with a hauntingly melodious voice and a fish tail. I could see why he adored Ariel, but she wasn't really my type, not even with legs. Too wishy-washy, the way she mooned over that cardboard cut-out prince. Now, if only Ariel had the street cred of the neurotic, waif-like mermaid in this sketch...

Belle, as in Beauty and the Beast, is something else. Feisty and admirable in her devotion to her eccentric inventor dad. A daughter after my own heart... and one who can surely bring out the beast...um, I mean, the best in any man.

But, ultimately - and both Ahau and I agree on this - it's Pocahontas we'd seriously love to poke. Indeed, we'd wed her without a moment's hesitation.

Her wild spirit, her incredible courage, and her ability to leap off waterfalls (not to mention her flawless anatomy) make her utterly irresistible to us both. Too bad she only seems to go for raccoons and Mat Sallehs* named John.

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*Mat Salleh - local slang for Caucasians.