Statement on the Selangor Dam (revisited)

TECHNOLOGY WILL NOT SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS. ONLY HUMILITY AND TRUTHFULNESS WILL DO THE TRICK.

Selangor River rapids (Antares)

I issue this statement on my own behalf, and not as a representative of any group or organization. I am resolutely against any attempt to solve our serious environmental problems - of which recurring smog and water shortages (despite worsening floods) are merely symptoms - through heavy-handed bureaucratic schemes and club-footed technological ploys.

Never mind the goddam EIA. These multi-million-ringgit "professional" reports are a wordscreen for a lot of nasty unspeakable projects that I prophesy will soon be totally banned from this precious planet, as more and more of us awaken to the terrible truth.

What an EIA does is to soften the crushing impact of reckless "development" projects. The EIA is very much like an inventory of potential damage caused by warfare: you might lose a few toes, half your brain, most of your vision, your hearing, your sanity, etc - BUT if you follow certain SAFETY PRECAUTIONS, you might escape with only half the above injuries!

The point is: WE DON'T WANT TO GO TO WAR AT ALL! What industrialization has done to the environment is essentially a declaration of war against natural beauty and simple, honest values. That way lies a dead-end future of merciless grey grimness unfit for organic lifeforms, only state-owned androids.

Building yet another colossal dam to feed our insatiable appetite for "growth" is definitely a sign of derangement. We have been forcefed - and a few have greedily swallowed - Mahathir's "vision" of unfettered industrial development and economic expansion. But how many have dared to publicly question the sanity or wisdom of this management policy? And when a few voices in the wilderness cried out in warning, were they heeded or even heard amidst the clamor of the stock exchange and the growing traffic jams?

When water catchment areas have been rudely denuded and despoiled, and hills carved up for high-rise housing, do we expect to live happily after on this earth? Surely Mother Earth will seek ways in which she can rid herself of this terrible infestation called humanity, surely she will find ways to alert us to the grave errors of our perception, so that we can return to a loving, cherishing relationship with her (instead of exploiting her and robbing her of resources meant for all living things, and seeing her beauty as no more than booty for our taking).

KL flash flood, March 2009 (Ahmad Asmadi/The Star)

My friends, the inclement weather changes - wet months getting wetter and hot months getting hotter and cold countries getting colder - are part of the phenomenon called Global Warming. It is largely caused by human insensitivity to the miraculous spectrum of life that constitutes our biosphere. "Modern Man" suffers from acute anthropocentrism - a viewpoint focused exclusively on human need and greed - and acute anthropocentrism will eventually destroy the whole earth. Our needs are amply provided for by Mother Nature, as the wise ones say, but not our greed.

So our recent plague of environmental problems is basically an indicator of our excesses. To further abuse and exploit the environment certainly will not help - no matter how clever or inventive or EXPENSIVE the technology may be.

What will help is to reassess our management policies and national aspirations with complete truthfulness. We would immediately recognize that we have reached the point where national ego pride could ruin us and genuine humility just might save us.

Humility means acknowledging how little we know about the universe; and humility comes from realizing that nature's beauty and mystery are worth infinitely more than our perverse obsession with illusory fame and fortune.

Being able to breathe clean, fresh air and admire the distant hills every day may not get us into the Guinness Book of World Records or the Who's Who of the Banana Republics- but it will certainly get us closer to regaining heaven on earth.

Road to Heaven by Emily Mueller

So stop midway through this frantic and futile feast of fools and look up at the ethereal clouds in the sky, and remember why we chose to be born on this exquisite and unique gem of a planet. Was it to puff ourselves up with toadish pompousness and amass a hoard of dragon's gold we could never bequeath to our grandchildren? Because our grandchildren would be too busy turning into cockroaches, rats, and other lifeforms that can survive or even thrive in ugly and polluted environments.

Or did we come here to experience the separation of matter from spirit, and to learn how they can be harmoniously fused again? For this lesson would teach us that the outer reflects the inner. Where there is drought in the external reality, it means our souls are parched of feelings, love has dried up. Where there are landslides and flash floods, it means our integrity is decaying and our emotions are murky and raging out of control, bursting the banks of tranquility. And where the air is thick with greasy crud and black with factory soot, it means our thoughts are indecent (i.e., mechanical, pornographic) and our spirit is exhausted.

These are not - as an official propagandist might have you believe - the essential hallmarks of progress, the few broken eggs of omelette-making. Material comfort and spiritual distress are not the sine qua non of success. If truth be told, these are the unmistakable symptoms of acute mismanagement pulling the wool over the eyes of - or, rather, shearing the wool off - a woefully disinformed and misguided citizenry.

Don't be fooled or bullied by businessmen and politicians into believing that ideals and principles are for lily-livered dreamers and bleeding-hearts. Ideals and principles are our navigational beacons through the foggy night of never-knowing-for-sure. Businessmen and politicians prefer to bandy about FACTS and FIGURES. They call it being REALISTIC, being PRACTICAL, being LOGICAL, being RATIONAL.  "Hey, don't be so emotional," they're fond of admonishing individuals like me.

Well, my friends, if you think the world is run by walruses and carpenters... oops, I mean, busynessmen and appalliticians... and there isn't much you and I can do to change the situation - you're dead wrong! In the first place, they are not running the world - they're RUINING it! And in the second place, every bit of POWER they appear to wield they STOLE from YOU.

Now, to reclaim your POWER - and your FUTURE - and your SENSE OF MEANING and PURPOSE - all you have to do is stand your ground and say: NO WAY! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BUILD ANOTHER STUPID BLOODY DAM JUST TO COVER UP YOUR INCOMPETENCE, YOUR INEFFICIENCY AND YOUR INBRED CORRUPTION. YOU ARE GOING TO START LISTENING TO THOSE WHO CAN STILL TALK STRAIGHT - INSTEAD OF THROWING THEM ALL IN JAIL! - AND CARRY OUT THE TRUE WISHES OF WE THE PEOPLE.

We no longer desire to be permanent debt-slaves of an inaccessible power elite ("Boss ada meeting!"). We shall no longer pick up the bill for your deadly sins. We are prepared to give you ONE LAST CHANCE to admit your mistakes (go on, say "Sorry lah!" just once with feeling) and then call for suggestions from the public as to what needs to be done about everything: our air, our water, our legal system, our police force, our news media, our housing policy, our hideous track record of moral duplicity, and our utter contempt for truth, never mind the environment!

I'm absolutely sure the very first suggestion will be: DO AWAY WITH OBSOLETE LAWS FROM THE DARK AGES LIKE THE ISA AND THE OSA. Then we can feel free at last to discuss decent, intelligent, eco-friendly and non-destructive ways to resolve our problems without being harassed by zomboid goons.

In fact, you may find we actually have very few problems in this country. I'd venture that they can all fit into a single courtroom and be tried for conspiracy to befuddle and bamboozle the public! And the most fitting "punishment" would be for the entire cabinet to live for two whole years in an Orang Asli village on RM500 a month. They will each be issued a 20-year-old 80 c.c. motorbike - and no petrol allowance.

The Orang Asli, of course, will be paid ministers' salaries during the exchange period to make up for the inconvenience of having to teach a bunch of back-biting batik-shirted baboons the basics of honest living.*

Antares

Magick River

6 March 1999

*Twelve years have elapsed since I wrote this. Regrettably, I have had to revise my earlier, overly romantic view of the Orang Asli and their role as guardians of "indigenous wisdom." This may have been true of past generations, raised on grandmothers' stories instead of low-grade TV. However, the new generation of Orang Asli - and I refer specifically to the Temuan of Ulu Selangor - are hardly in a position to teach anybody "the basics of honest living." Indeed, I'm inclined to think only a tiny handful these days have any grasp of the notion of honesty. The rot from Putrajaya has spread all the way down to the roots. To rehabilitate BN ministers we will probably have to outsource the contract!

[First posted 6 November 2011]

ALTANTUYA MURDER ~ THE MISSING LINKS by Americk Sidhu

COMMENT This is the first time in 34 years I have actually found myself in agreement with former prime minister Dr Mahathir Mohamad and his recent, although rather belated, queries in respect of the Altantuya Shaariibuu murder saga.

These questions make sense. These are the same questions a very large portion of the Malaysian population has been asking for over eight years now.

Khalid Abu Bakar (right), our beloved inspector-general of police (IGP), has in the meantime, been performing backward somersaults trying to avoid the entire issue and instead, appears to have dedicated his entire career to tracking Twitter messages on social media.

'Twitter Khalid' has even had the audacity to threaten (which he is very good at) anyone who dares to bring up the issue of 'motive' in the grisly murder of an innocent female foreign national at the hands of two of Malaysia's best trained commandos.

The excuse Khalid has given is that the Federal Court has made a decision and any questioning of the reasons behind that decision would be tantamount to contempt of court.

What Khalid has failed miserably to appreciate is the fact that no one is 'questioning' that decision. Everyone agrees the decision is correct.

However, it is the question of motive which has never been addressed in any of the three courts this murder trial has progressed through. In fact, evidence in respect of motive was never tendered by the prosecution.

Therefore, as far as I (and Mahathir) are concerned, it is still open season on motive.

So instead of terrorising twitterers, perhaps Khalid may see fit to revisit this issue with a little more fervour than he has shown in the past.

Despite the press releases being launched from the IGP's office, none of them detract from the fact that convicted murderer Sirul Azhar Umar has categorically said no officer from the Polis Di-Raja Malaysia (PDRM) has visited him in Sydney to interview him.

If Khalid disputes this, all he has to do is release the names of those officers who ostensibly attended to Sirul (left) and the exact date and time they clocked in with the detention centre authorities. Inspector Tonny Luggan (the investigating officer in Altantuya's case) says he was not sent to see Sirul in Sydney, so who was?

Khalid is also reported to have said that "Sirul's remark showed the fugitive was doing his utmost to bring disrepute and cast doubt over the investigations into the murder case, his involvement and the criminal justice system".

Yes. That is correct, because it is obvious to everyone that your investigations are incomplete.

As the current series of events appear to translate, Sirul is not disputing his involvement in the murder. All he is saying is that others were involved and they haven't been brought to book so why should he take the rap?

One need not have successfully completed an in-depth course in criminal investigation at Pulapol (Malaysian Police Training Centre) to be able to decipher the glaring holes in this entire saga.

A cursory viewing of a couple of episodes of Miami Vice or CSI New York would suffice in providing a clue as to how the matter ought to have been professionally addressed.

The established facts

Azilah Hadri and Sirul have been convicted of the murder of Altantuya by the highest court in our land. This has therefore been proved beyond a reasonable doubt.

In the circumstances, there can be no question that these two gentlemen were in fact responsible for lodging two bullets in this poor lady's head and thereafter detonating some military grade explosives placed on her body causing it to be dissipated in the vicinity of some secondary jungle on the outskirts of Kuala Lumpur.

Sirul, who has, rather astutely, sought refuge at the Villawood detention centre on the outskirts of Sydney, has candidly admitted he was acting under orders and that he has been made a scapegoat for others who had not been brought to court.

In other words, he has tacitly admitted to the crime and confirmed that there may have been others behind it.

The question is why would Sirul and Azilah (right) have done this for no apparent reason? The courts have been interested only in whether an offence of murder had been committed and not why it was committed.

The prosecution failed to seek or put forth an explanation.

This is really the question which the IGP can provide an answer to if he is so inclined. He certainly has the resources. As long as he possesses the will, he most certainly will find the way.

Khalid, for goodness sake, please, just do your job. At the moment the general public perceive inactivity on your part as yet another ubiquitous and notorious Malaysian cover-up.

May I suggest you simply haul up the following characters and ask them these simple questions:

Azilah - Why did you and Sirul kill someone you didn't even know?

DSP Musa Safri (left) (then aide de camp DPM Najib Razak) - What exactly did you tell Sirul and Azilah to do to that poor Mongolian lady and who exactly asked you to engage their services?

Nasir Safar (Najib’s special officer) - What were you doing driving around in front of Abdul Razak Baginda's house on the evening of Oct 19, 2006, watching Azilah and Sirul abduct Altantuya?

PM Najib - Did you know that four of your staff were involved in this? If so, then why were they?

Deepak Jaikishan (businessman with close ties to Najib’s wife, Rosmah Mansor - Who asked you to shut private eye P Balasubramaniam up and get him and his family out of Malaysia immediately after he released SD1 (first statutory declaration)? (This should be easy as Deepak has already confessed to all of this).

Rosmah - Was it you? If not, then who?

Johari Razak (Najib’s younger brother) - Did you telephone senior lawyer Cecil Abraham on the evening of July 3, 2008 and ask him to prepare SD2 for Balasubramaniam to sign? If so why, and on whose behalf?

Cecil - Did you receive a telephone call from Johari Razak on July 3, 2008 to prepare SD2? If so, did you?

Sunil Abraham (Cecil’s son, who is also a lawyer) - Did you or did you not, assist your father in preparing SD2 and did you then personally deliver it to the Hilton Hotel, KL Sentral on the morning of July 4, 2008?

Zainal Abidin Muhayat - Were you a commissioner for oaths in 2008 and did you have your office at Zul Rafique and Partners, Lorong P Ramlee, Kuala Lumpur? If so, who sent you to the Hilton Hotel, KL Sentral on July 4, 2008 to attest the signature of one Balasubramaniam on SD2?

Nazim Razak (another brother of Najib) - Were you and your wife at the Curve, Mutiara Damansara late in the night of July 3, 2008? If so did you meet one Balasubramaniam (right) next to the VW showroom?

And if so, did you or did you not, threaten Balasubramaniam to follow the instructions of one Deepak Jaikishan and leave the country with his family immediately, otherwise his family's safety could not be guaranteed?

Najib - Did you instruct Johari and Nazim to arrange, respectively, for SD2 to be prepared and Balasubramaniam's subsequent departure from Malaysia? If so, why was that necessary?

Hamzah Zainuddin (Umno MP for Larut) - Did you, in 2011, offer Balasubramaniam safe passage back to this country and a cash inducement if he pleaded guilty to affirming a false statutory declaration (SD1). If so, why and on behalf of whom?

Khalid, may I also suggest that you contact a senior investigation officer from the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) by the name of Abdul Rahman Bachok. He is a very diligent officer and has the entire file on investigations into the circumstances under which Balasubramaniam affirmed SD2. I am sure he will lend you his file and assist you in any way he can.

I believe he is a little annoyed that his file has been closed by the Attorney-General's Chambers. He had put a lot of effort into his investigations.

You may also care to contact the Brickfields police station and ask them why they have not followed up on the police report I lodged on July 8, 2008 in respect of Balasubramaniam's disappearance. I have sent them reminders but there has been no response.

All the above 'persons of interest' and their answers to the questions posed may possibly assist in revealing a motive for the crime. Is there any reason why you, Mr IGP would be disinclined to pursue the matter further and if so what are those reasons?

---

AMERICK SIDHU is a senior lawyer and counsel for late P Balasubramaniam and his widow,  A Santamil Selvi. Reproduced courtesy of Malaysiakini.

It's official: Malaysia is now a Kakistocracy!

LEARN A NEW WORD!

Kakistocracy: Governance by a clique representing the worst elements of society, from the Greek, kakos, meaning foul, or filthy.

In the case of Malaysia, the word kakistocracy may derive from kaki - the colloquial Malay word for "crony" or "accomplice in crime."

Meet the new Najib-appointed Attorney-General!

Don't you think we deserve better?

Musings of a Memorable Prime Minister, Minister Mentor & Tormentor

Kuan Yew the 
Dog Trainer

“If you can select a population and they're educated and they're properly brought up, then you don't have to use too much of the stick because they would already have been trained. It's like with dogs. You train it in a proper way from small. It will know that it's got to leave, go outside to pee and to defecate. No, we are not that kind of society. We had to train adult dogs who even today deliberately urinate in the lifts.” ~ Lee Kuan Yew, 2013

On Racial Integration

"I think we were progressing very nicely until the surge of Islam came, and if you asked me for my observations, the other communities have easier integration - friends, inter-marriages and so on - than Muslims... I would say, today, we can integrate all religions and races, except Islam." 

~ Lee Kuan Yew, 2011

On Migrants

"According to history, Malays began to migrate to Malaysia in noticeable numbers only about 700 years ago. Of the 39 percent Malays in Malaysia today, about one-third are comparatively new immigrants like the secretary-general of UMNO, Dato' Syed Ja'afar Albar, who came to Malaya from Indonesia just before the war at the age of more than thirty. Therefore it is wrong and illogical for a particular racial group to think that they are more justified to be called Malaysians and that the others can become Malaysian only through their favour." ~ Lee Kuan Yew, 1964

On Succession

“That was my intention. If the new PM fails, I have failed… Mahathir never thought that way. He undermined his successors.” ~ Lee Kuan Yew, 2011

On Rule By Fear

"If nobody is afraid of me, I'm meaningless." ~ Lee Kuan Yew, 1997

Lee Kuan Yew (16 September 1923 ~ 23 March 2015)

From the Planet.... GONG! (In loving memory of Daevid Allen)

The Origins of Gong
Gong came into being almost by accident in the late sixties when Daevid Allen was refused entry back into Britain following European dates with Soft Machine. Deciding to stay in Paris, Allen began working alongside Gilli Smyth and various musicians on what would eventually become the phenomenal Gong.

The first recognized recordings from the band were Magick Brother, Mystic Sister (1970), followed by albums such as Camembert Electrique, Flying Teapot, and You.

Various permutations of Gong have worked together over the years under various names including Mother Gong, Expresso Gong, Gongmaison, Planet Gong, and so on and so forth. They have all included an amazing array of musical talent moving through the ranks, to name but a few: Didier Malherbe aka Bloomdido Bad de Grasse, Steve Hillage, Pierre Moerlen, Mike Howlett, Steffi Sharpstrings, Tim Blake, Hugh Hopper, and Robert Wyatt.

Gongmaison came about in April 1989 after Daevid Allen's return to the UK and, more importantly, following a French gig with former Gong member Didier Malherbe (pictured left, the most amazing wind instrumentalist alive on Earth - but, alas, a fact known only to initiates of GAS - or the Gong Appreciation Society!).

The name "Gongmaison" alluded to the mixture of house/jazz that the band played at the time - which, in fact, was nearer to house music although it still contained all the relevant Gong elements of old. This video clip comes from the band's performance in the early nineties and was filmed at the Fridge in Brixton.

The line-up includes key members of Gong - Daevid Allen, Didier Malherbe and the wiccan poet Gilli Smyth aka Shakti Yoni (right) who developed her own vocal technique dubbed the Space Whisper. It was Shakti Yoni, in fact, who helped to craft Gong's elaborate cosmomythology through her inspired poetry and storytelling.




The impact of GONG on my life

In the early 1970s I was in the habit of shopping for LPs in Singapore. My favorite source was Sing & Co. on Hill Street because they always had some real finds in the cheap bin. On one such occasion I spotted three albums by an unknown band called Gong. Drawn to the cover art (which depicted Pot Head Pixies in their Flying Teapots), I bought two albums without a moment's hesitation - and I wasn't disappointed one bit! In fact, I couldn't wait to return a few weeks later for Angels Egg which I had been forced by budget constraints to leave behind :-)

In 1969 I had been subjected to electroshock therapy on account of the amazing "visions" I'd been experiencing - of contact with extraterrestrials and angels and an Earth reborn in rainbow splendor, gone the historical (and hysterical) nightmare of smelly politics, rotten economics, and perpetual war. Looking at the Gong album artwork and listening to their fantastic music enormously cheered me and reconnected me with my core being. In Gong I had found my own spiritual and musical family at last - indeed, I'd go as far as to say Gong helped me regain my cosmic equilibrium and PHP humor! [PHP in this instance refers, of course, to "Pot Head Pixie" - NOT "Hypertext Preprocessor"!]

Gong's music, I thought, was akin to dervish dancing in that it induced in the listener a beatific trance state, opening one's consciousness to the kaleidoscopic worlds awaiting our discovery within our own neurology. Through all the ensuing decades, Gong and everything they represent have served as trusty friends and soul-family.

I'm indeed overjoyed to learn that Gong is very much alive and well. Daevid Allen is now a still-spritely 69 and rumored to be living in Byron Bay, New South Wales. His latest project is the University of Errors and I recommend a leisurely tour for some exquisite mental stimulation and not a few hearty belly laughs.

OWLY SONG by Daevid Allen (animation by Merav Shacham aka Bananamoon)

Watch GONG live in Nottingham, 1990!

The entire 7-part concert is on YouTube but as I can't embed the videos here, just click on each segment (if you don't have the patience to sit through all of it, go for Part 5 where Didier goes wild on his Yamaha WX7!):

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4a | Part 4b | Part 5 | Part 6

Daevid Allen in 1975: Cozmik Mad Hatter, Wizard of the Keys, and Master of Fohat!

[First posted 20 June 2007]

How about some pork with your porn? (repost)

It appears that in certain Third World countries with First World infrastructures, a sure way of finding yourself in prison is to publish pork-flavored porn.

Indeed, it doesn't even have to be real pork, as Alvin Tan (26) and Vivian Lee (25) recently discovered. You could post a photo of yourself enjoying some tonic bone soup and wishing your Muslim friends a happy breaking of fast during the month of Ramadan - and the assumption would be, because you happen to be of Chinese descent, you must be making fun of other people's religion by advertising the virtues of pork.

This perky young couple are enjoying some fried bean curd (or yu-char-kway) served in tonic bone soup

By now most Malaysians would have seen that ill-conceived photo of Alvivi (as the outrageous young couple call themselves) smiling happily as they dine on what looks like fried bean curd or crisp doughsticks (yu-char-kway) served in bak-kut-teh - a popular tonic bone soup made with whatever meat one fancies, though the commonest variety features various parts of a pig's anatomy. Some say bak-kut-teh is a genuinely Malaysian delicacy as the dish is apparently unknown in China.

I'm generally carnivorous myself - but if some militant vegan decides to post images of raw celery, carrots and beet on her facebook timeline, should I interpret that as an attempt to annoy me? I can imagine a hardcore vegetarian being repulsed by the sight of a sizzling steak, but is that enough reason to arrest anybody and accuse them of sedition? To make a huge fuss out of one's dietary taboos - whether based on religious dictates or personal preference - seems to me utterly absurd.

A year ago Alvivi raised eyebrows and blood pressures with their erotic blog where they had uploaded homemade videos of themselves having a romp or two in bed. For that Alvin Tan had his scholarship cancelled by the National University of Singapore (where he was studying law) and he and his faithful sidekick Vivian Lee subsequently returned to live in Malaysia. The couple has received an equal amount of brickbats as well as bouquets.

The more conservative were quick to condemn them for "bringing shame to their families." While many others openly expressed their admiration for the couple's derring-do and sheer cheek. I was among those who found myself marveling at these youngsters for having the nerve to act out what many people only dare fantasize about. They were, I felt, deliberately testing the limits - seeing how far they could go in their advocacy of sexual liberation and freedom of expression.

After all, it's no secret that at least 90% of the male population (the other 10% being congenital liars) - and perhaps 30% of females - regularly watches online porn. Before digital tech came along we had easy access to porn through pirate VCDs and DVDs. In my father's time, we had to be content with girlie magazines and naughty playing cards - unless we lived abroad in societies where commercialized sex has long been a major part of the national economy.

Compared to what is accessible online 24/7, Alvivi's homemade sex videos were amateurish and rated at most a single X, not XXX. What made Alvivi's porn blog titillating was the fact that they looked like the kids next door - and not some massive breasted Latina or Blonde shagging some black hunk with an 11-inch dick. Alvin Tan and Vivian Lee resembled a couple of energetic, fun-loving youngsters you might find yourself seated next to on the commuter train or at the cinema.

I was amused at the vehemence with which some traditionalists bayed for their blood. The overreaction was akin to witnessing a frenzied mob burn down a cinema just because someone had reported catching a fleeting glimpse of female nipples in some arty foreign film.

Stomping on a severed cow's head on 28 August 2009 to protest construction of a Hindu temple in their area

What is truly obscene, to me, is displaying the severed head of a cow - and even stomping on it - to express displeasure at the prospect of having a Hindu temple built in one's neighborhood. Not only is such a virulent species of intolerance intolerable in a multicultural reality, the act is akin to cursing the benevolence and generosity of Mother Nature - which is what the cow symbolizes in many ancient cultures, not just Hindu.

It all boils down to sheer hypocrisy. The same angry mob will then disperse and go home to download porn on their laptops.

As many have pointed out: if you serve the right political masters, you may screen pornographic material in a public place and get away with only a playful slap on the wrist. But if you happen to have the wrong skin color or religion, expect to have a whole library - or a 200-ton concrete structure - dumped on your head.

In a milieu where political correctness dictates that one is not allowed to use words like "dwarf" or "midget" in the presence of vertically challenged humans, being too tall can be deemed a punishable offence.

Trust the beansized-brain bozos in Umno to offer, as a possible remedy for cultural insensitivity, compulsory classes in Islamic civilization. Now if they had the good sense to be more inclusive and suggest that all civilizations are worthy of study, we would soon be enjoying heaven on earth.

Nobody likes having anything shoved down their throats. That's the clumsiest, stupidest and most obnoxious way of changing other people's mindsets. Young people will always gravitate towards ideas and information they find stimulating, exciting, funky, cool. Absolutely no way you can dig up a chunk of frozen mammoth dung and repackage it for the youth market as ice cream.

[First posted 21 July 2013, reposted 12 March 2015]

Swami Beyondananda’s State of the Universe 2015

Cosmic Comic Pundit Swami Beyondananda Calls for Evolutionary Upwising

“Either we will have an awakening, or there will be a wake.”  ~ Swami Beyondananda

Greetings, Mirthlings!

Welcome to the state of the Universe — which is of course, everchanging, same as always.

Here we are once again in the here and now, just like last year at this time.

So … are you finally ready to live in the now?

Good.  We have been waiting for you.  What took you so long?

With time rapidly becoming a thing of the past (the calendar’s days are numbered, you know) people are living in the now like never before. Listen, I know. I was a futurist in a past life. But now, I have no time for time. I am living all the time in the Timeless Now. I think they call that All-Timers.

Meanwhile, here on Earth — or as it is known throughout the galaxies, the Comedy Channel — a critical mass of the heretofore uncritical masses are awakening to a serious truth.  There’s something funny going on.

Take politics — please.

America’s two political parties spent $4 billion on the last election and it worked — the American people were soundly defeated.  Once again the Golden Rule was overruled by the rule of gold, and the Constitution overrun by the prostitution.  The result is government in greedlock and rule by a one-party system where we the people haven’t been invited to the party.

We don’t exactly have a name for this new system, although I think Futilism describes it pretty well.  Thanks to government for hire, voting has devolved into an act of futility.  Whether we vote Democratic or Republican, we seem to end up with Dempublicrats running things.

Now some mystics — pessimystics they are called — would look at this shituation and see a glass 95% empty.  As an optimystic I take the exact opposite position. I see a glass 5% full.

Yes, there is good news.

An evolutionary upwising is afoot, and left and right are coming front-and-center around a new common sense consensus.

In Colorado and now two other states, this has meant legalizing cannabis.  So what does this mean, other than in the Mile High State you can now legally get a mile higher?  For one thing it means a blooming economy selling transcendental medication.  Science is now finding that humans have THC receptors in the part of the brain called the “hippiecampus”.  When this area is stimulated, people see farce fields and laugh at invisible jokes.

There’s an old saying — and I know it because I myself made it up many lifetimes ago — the truth shall upset you free.  Once again in 2014, inconvenient truths exposed convenient lies. For example, now everyone knows our government is spying on us, and Public Enemy Number One appears to be none other than — the public.  Maybe the NSA needs to be balanced out by another three-letter organization, the ICU — Independent Citizens United, where citizens who intensively care about the rule of law can say, “I see you” and begin to oversee what we have until now chosen to overlook.

From Monotheism to Stereotheism, and a REAL Conspiracy

There was another sign of the upwising in 2014.  Pope Francis took a stand for social justice, making the Catholic Church more non-dominational.  And boy, are those purebred dogma breeders upset!  It just goes to show that maybe you CAN teach an old dogma, new tricks.

Maybe monotheism is evolving into stereotheism, where the same truth comes from multiple speakers, in many different languages, and some with no language at all.

After all, there is no harm in harmony, and no sin in synergy.  And in the end, every dogma must answer to the same Master.  Maybe if religions evolve in this way, John Lennon could imagine “no religion too” becoming “all religions true.”

And for those of us who want peace in the Middle East?

Let us first try peace in the Middle West.  A first step is to quiet our own barking dogmas, and listen to the silence.  Instead of just following the herd, follow the unheard … right into your own heart.  Imagine, Americans from all tribes coming into the same space of silence, and breathing together.  Now that would be a REAL conspiracy, and could expose and help us overgrow the con’s piracy we have now.

The evolutionary upwising calls on people everywhere to rise above the identity issues that each side serves up as dogma chow, and instead focus on the identical issues we face now — like being passengers and crew on Spaceship Earth, citizens and denizens of Gaia.

So, come on you Gaians!

Time to show your species’ pride.  And time to evolve from children of God to adults of Good.  Yes, I know.  We are collectively in this awkward tween phase called addled-essence.  Our essence has been addled by obsolete myth-conceptions.

A Three-Step Plan to Launch the Upwising

So, how do we un-addle our essence?  How do we launch this upwising to turn the funk into function, and leave the junk at the junction?

I’m glad I asked that question.

I have created a three-step program that is mathematically proven to work four times faster than 12-step.

If we want to have an upwising, we must wake up … wise up … and show up.

We must wake up to the awful truth and the awesome opportunity.  Yes the world is in serious condition, largely due to our conditioning to be serious.  Seriously.

And if the problem is serious, then the solution has to be humorous, right?  So we wake up laughing as we recognize that we’ve been running around in circles, chasing our tales.  These tales usually tell us that happiness is somewhere “out there”. It’s a sure sign of the upwising when those who’ve been in hot pursuit of happiness get struck by enlightening and realize, “Gee, I must have run right past it.”

And in this moment of fool-realization, we fully realize our foolishness and laugh in our own face.  This is called self-facing laughter, and it helps us illuminate our world from the inside out.  People ask me all the time, “How can I uplift humanity?” I take one look at their doomy and gloomy expressions and I say, “You can begin by uplifting the corners of your mouth in a smile.” When you feel the levitational pull giving you a natural face-lift, you are literally overcoming gravity.

Hearty laughter brings us from the static of the head to the ecstatic of the heart, and we take the second step to upwising — we wise up loving.  It has been said that the more we expand our hearts the less we will need to shrink our heads.  Beliefs lie in our head, love lives in our heart.  So … are you going to believe those lies?  Or live that love?  When you sacrifice being happy for being right, you know what they call it?  Smartyrdom.

With laughter and love helping us wise to the occasion, we take the third step.  We show up, living and giving.  Each of us has been given a special gift, just for entering.  So you are already a winner.  We are all here to let our light fully shine — the enlightened ones call this full-filament.  It is true that the unexamined life is not worth living, and equally true that the unlived life is not worth examining.  To “show up” means to live life fully, and foolly, laughing all the way.  Make a bucket list of all the undertakings you wish to undertake before being overtaken by the undertaker.  Express your unique love in the world, and make your life a work of heart.

Bring your gift to the party, and show up for the greatest show on earth — REALITY!  You know, reality.  That’s reality TV without the TV.  What a movie we’re in!  A cast of 7 billion, and all of humanity is in the hero’s role.  And the whole world is on the edge of its seat.  Will we achieve critical mass before we reach critical massacre?  Will there be an awakening, or a wake?

As the great baseball player / philosopher Willie Mays once said, “That’s what we’re going to play the game to find out.”

I end this 2015 State of the Universe with good news.  When it comes to transformation, we have all the time in the world. And that time is now.

May we wake up laughing and leave laughter in our wake.

© Copyright 2015 Steve Bhaerman.  All rights reserved.

If you’d like to wake up laughing, why not enroll in the Wake Up Laughing class?

Swami Beyondananda is a noted social uncommontator and spiritual political pundit (If anyone punned it, Swami punned it first) and is the alter ego and brainchild of author and humorist Steve Bhaerman.  Steve and Swami can be found at www.wakeuplaughing.com and on Twitter @swamibe.

THE GOD OF NO MERCY (revisited)

A 45-minute documentary on Lee Kuan Yew, the founding father of modern Singapore and one of the world's remaining political strongmen. The film was seized by government officials (on orders of the home ministry) when it premiered at a private screening on 17 May 2008. Directed by Seelan Palay.

After viewing this well-researched and passionately produced doco on Singapore's Mr Hyde side, and figured it was high time Malaysians took a good hard look at the unwholesome aspects of Singapore's toy-townish tinsel and glitter image - especially those who express envy when comparing per capita incomes.

While Lee Kuan Yew's 31-year iron-fisted authoritarian rule - which, in truth, never ended since he created an advisory post for himself as "Minister Mentor" to the government - facilitated a prosperous, efficiently managed city-state whose dynamic economic growth far outshines all its Asean counterparts, Singapore's impressive status as a developed nation has been attained at an extremely high cost to other far more important human values.

Values like the ability of its citizens to think and feel and act freely and independently - rather than behaving like well-disciplined ants in a high-rise, multi-tiered, 24/7-monitored colony. Indeed, anyone who has seen The Matrix will easily identify with the predicament of the protagonist Neo after he swallows the Red Pill and begins to see beyond the glossy façade of life in the gigantic discount emporium that represents Singapore's public image.

Seelan Palay exposes the cold-blooded, ruthless cruelty with which Lee Kuan Yew systematically destroyed his challengers, detractors and rivals in order to establish the Lee Dynasty, propped up by an obsequious bureaucracy of well-paid mandarins - while keeping the lower echelons of society eternally chained to a relentless and soulless economic juggernaut.

I'm reminded of an excellent joke I once heard wherein a foreign tourist visits a Chinese temple in Singapore dedicated to two deities, female and male. The tour guide explains that the Chinese strictly adhere to the concept of balance symbolized by the Yin-Yang. Pointing to the female deity statue, the guide says: "That one Goddess of Mercy, Kuan Yin... and over there the God of No Mercy, Kuan Yew."

It would appear that a very large worm has begun to turn in Singapore and a new generation of civil society activists has arisen who are demanding an end to Singapore's oligarchical plutocracy, modeled after the dystopian society portrayed in Ridley Scott's Blade Runner.

Radical change is definitely in the air, on both sides of the Causeway!

[First posted 28 June 2009]

DEVAN NAIR'S LETTER TO LEE KUAN YEW (DATED 8 JULY 1988)