Thursday, February 25, 2010

Najib's 3 Stooges fuck up in Washington

Nazri's talk was so boring even JJ read the newspaper
By Raja Petra Kamarudin in Washington, D.C.*

It was a strange scene at the Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS) in Washington on Wednesday morning. When the seminar on Governance & Rule of Law in Malaysia began, only one of the speakers came into the room, Nazri Abdul Aziz.

Attorney-General Gani Patail and former Chief Justice Abdul Hamid Mohamed were somehow nowhere to be seen.

And in good Malaysian fashion, the seminar started 10 minutes late.

The seminar's chairman, Ernest Bower, looked tired and nervous, saying that he had received a number of e-mails expressing concern that the seminar would not be balanced. He said that he wants a dialogue on important issues. Therefore he also has invited the opposition to speak at CSIS. He hopes they will accept.

Ernest Bower then shocked the audience of about 40 people by saying that the session was 'off the record'. The flyer announcing the seminar never said it was an off the record session.

It doesn't matter though. The session was so boring there is very little to report anyway.

Malaysian Ambassador to the US, Jamaluddin Jarjis a.k.a. JJ, spoke for two minutes. He just said that he is working very hard to improve relations with the US (whenever he happens to be in town, that is). He made no mention, though, whether the new US$150,000 Porsche he just bought is paid for by the Malaysian taxpayers or by him personally.

Nazri said that it was just a coincidence that he, Gani and Abdul Hamid happen to be in Washington at the same time. (Sure. If you believe that then I have half a bridge to Singapore to sell you.) He said he didn't know where the two missing persons were.

He then introduced the "four members of my delegation," all MPs. (Talk about wasting the taxpayers’ money!) Two of them were PKR turncoats, including the infamous Zahrin Mohamed Hashim.

[Read the whole hilarious report here.]

That was no typo. The by-line reads: "By Raja Petra Kamarudin in Washington, D.C." This man has certainly earned his stripes as the Ultimate Cyberguerrilla. RPK's was the earliest and most detailed report on the Washington PR fiasco financed by Malaysian taxpayers. Respect and Love, Bro! :-) 


Oy, Najib! Is this how you plan to rule the country? (He didn't get the message the first time...)


How long before your hand gets tired?

You won't get any sleep at night...

You'll be much too stressed to service your voracious wife.

She'll soon be sending for some toy boys...

Isn't this a much nicer and healthier option? You have enough cash stashed away to live in the lap of luxury the rest of your lives... far, far from your political foes in Malaysia!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Dean Johns and Malaysiakini to the rescue!

Bless you, Dean Johns, for saying all the things so many of us would like to say about the stinky stuff that passes for local politics these days - and for saying it so engagingly. And thank you, Malaysiakini, for saving me the trouble of having to come up with something original for today's blogpost!

Umno boys protest too much

Dean Johns
Feb 24, 2010

As an Australian and a critic of the Umno/BN regime, I was both delighted and disturbed by last week's protest by Pemuda Umno Malaysia and others against interference in Malaysia's business by 50 of my country's MPs.

Most immediately delightful, of course, was that the rally outside the Australian High Commission in Kuala Lumpur (left), was just one more demonstration of the deceit and double-dealing behind ridiculous slogans like '1Malaysia' and 'Umno Juara Rakyat'.

While this regime denies most Malaysian citizens their constitutional right to peaceful public assembly, Umno/BN positively supports and sponsors protests against its opponents.

No threats of arrest under the ISA as for the rest of the rakyat, not a water cannon in sight, and the police and FRU on hand not to disrupt the performance but to see that it all goes smoothly.

And this bias is absolutely blatant, as when, following last year's outrageous 'cow's head' protest against a Hindu temple, Home Minister Hishammuddin Hussein defended the culprits with “in this day and age, protests should be accepted in this world as people want their voices to be heard. If we don't give them room to voice their opinions, they have no choice but to protest.”

But then within hours he gave the lie to this self-serving liberal sentiment by condoning the arrest of a handful of people holding a peaceful candle-light vigil in protest against the government (right) And in a similarly disgraceful display of the same double standard, he initially downplayed a rash of attacks on churches by firebrands opposed to the use of the word 'Allah' by Christians, by suggesting that the culprits were just a bunch of naughty boys.

Naughty boys, juvenile delinquents, mat rempit, whatever, it's patently and painfully evident that protest is only permissable as long as they're Umno/BN boys, as in the recent rally against us nosey Australians.

No objection

Not that I have the slightest objection to the protest itself. I'm as avid a fan and supporter of peaceful public protest as you could get. And in this case I'm especially all for it, as any protest against me or my countrymen by the likes of Khairy Jamaluddin and his boys I take as the greatest compliment.

As I said up front, I'm delighted to excite the enmity of anyone so immoral, misguided or moronic as to support a regime as mendacious, malevolent and outright un-Malaysian as Umno/BN.

What I find disturbing is what might be secretly motivating some of these lads as well as the men behind them. In short, not to beat around the bush here, I find myself wondering how many of these people are gay, or at least trying to hide their fears that they may be.

Lest this seem to some an outrageous accusation, let me hasten to state that it's not an accusation at all. Living as I do in Sydney, one of the most openly-gay cities on the planet, I'm accustomed to celebrating sexual diversity, not condemning it. So 'gay' to me is no more or less a label to be ashamed of than 'male' or 'female' might be.

In fact, as hopelessly heterosexual as I am, I've often wished I was at least bisexual so I could, as Woody Allen once famously remarked, “have twice the chance of a date on Saturday nights”.

But no luck, I'm afraid. The fact is, however, that as many as ten per cent of adult humans are either bi or gay, though a great many either deny or pretend they're not, especially in countries like Malaysia where it's against the law.

The uncomfortable truth about homophobia, however, and an obsession with practices like sodomy or buggery as evidenced by the repeated charges against Anwar and the banners carried by some of the Umno boys in the recent anti-Australia protest, is that it's often a cover for covert homosexuality.

Overly macho

So is coming on mucho too macho. Like wearing wira-style headbands as so many Umno Youth and their pals did outside the Australian High Commission that they looked more like Village People contingent in a gay-pride march than serious political protestors.

As for Khairy (left) himself, though doubtless he doesn't have a gay bone in his body, he's always seemed to me to smack more of Oxford Street Sydney than of his alma mater, Oxford University.

And what about those signs, guys, all printed-up nicely in matching type-faces? A bit too designer-looking to come across as convincingly butch, don't you think?

Which brings us to some highly dubious statements about the protest. Reading Rocky Attan's blog, as I do religiously these days now he's back editing the Malay Male – oops, Mail – and finally come out of the closet as a chum of Umno/BN, I was amazed to see him openly embracing the cause.

In a posting titled 'We walked and waltzed, Australia...Mind Your Own Business,' he named a handful of fellow bloggers and writers who accompanied him on the protest, threw in a few Chinese, Indians and a dog, then proceeded to quote himself in an interview he gave.

He wrote: “Basically I said, the bloggers are not here to support BN, Perkasa or other political entities, we are here because we want to convey a message to the Australian people that what their lawmakers are asking us to do is to compromise the integrity of our courts and the rule of law.”

Integrity of our courts? Rule of law? Who did think he was kidding? But there was more: “We are a sovereign nation just like Australia is. We are not barbarians. We don't kill the native people of this country and we don't murder foreigners and get away with it.”

Official custody

Huh? What about rape of the Orang Asli and the Penan? And the killing of hundreds of 'suspects' in official custody? And as for not murdering foreigners, does the name Altantuya Shaariibuu ring a bell?

Still, nothing daunted, he continued: “I was not there to support Anwar Ibrahim or Saiful Bukhary. I was there to express my disgust at the Australian MPs who have asked us to stop our process of justice and democracy.”

Justice and democracy my ass, pardon the expression. But never mind. The truth always prevails in the end. And the end is hastened when the guilty parties publicly parade their true colours by protesting too much.

As Khairy and his boys did once again last week, and as Umno/BN big-boys Nazri Abdul Aziz, Abdul Gani Petail, Abdul Hamid Mohamed and Jamaluddin Jarjis are unwisely planning to do this today in Washington DC.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Martin Jalleh on Jibby's US Media Circus

Malaysian Circus goes to Washington
by Martin Jalleh

For a little more than a month in 2010 Umno has gone full steam with its scare tactics, saber-rattling tricks, silly threats and sinister theatrics. Now it is all set to take the Malaysian (political) circus to the US and to show Uncle Sam a far “superior” sample of democracy and governance.

The trip is by courtesy of Apco Worldwide, a global PR firm, employed by the government to resuscitate, redeem, and re-engineer the PM’s flagging image at about RM20 million. The firm has allegedly offered similar services to dictators and corrupt leaders worldwide. They must feel very at home here in dealing with the “most corrupt institution in the country.”

But why is Umno off to the US with its best circus clowns to impress the US when they just told those lowdown politicians Down Under that to Umno it is a no-no to interfere in the affairs of Bolehland? Why waste the people’s money and be bothered about what the US thinks of us? Alas, the answer to such a mystery belongs only to those who can go the lowest.

The circus will be hosted by the Center for Strategic and International Studies. The man behind it is Ernie Bower (left) in partnership with a (Karen) Brooks. Both have boasted about their close bond with ASEAN leaders. However they insist they are not beholden to Southeast Asian governments nor would they act as a lobby group or agents for them in Washington.

Surely Bower and Brooks can come up with better bull than this. Why would they want to bargain their reputation away by sharing the stage with political buffoons and bozos sent to an image-boosting circus? But the circus must go on. Apco must make the Najib administration look appetizing enough for the whole audience to want to swallow up what they throw at them!

The event will be held on 24th February 2010 and it will be at K Street in Washington DC. This is where the big lobbying firms have their headquarters and is sometimes referred to as the “fourth branch of government.” But of course what is important to Umno is the fact that K Street is also called “The Road to Riches.” Now you get the drift?

The three top officials to speak at the seminar entitled “Governance and Rule of Law in Malaysia and Malaysian Legislative Initiatives” i.e., how the circus is run in Bolehland, are Minister in the PM's Department Nazri Abdul Aziz, former chief justice Abdul Hamid Mohamad and Attorney-General Abdul Gani Patail - a powerful and perfect NAG (Nazri, Abdul Hamid & Gani) team!

They will of course have the privilege and honour of being accompanied and introduced by special envoy, senior diplomat, seasoned politician and Malaysia’s ambassador to the United States, Jamaludin Jarjis (left), a man who has soared to such high office as a result of his wide reputation of being very adept at grappling, groping and getting to the bottom of things.

Nazri’s Nonsense

Nazri, the Minister in the PM’s Department, overseer of parliamentary affairs and de facto Law Minister will surely serve up a sterling performance. He has successfully and quite singlehandedly reduced Parliament, the country's supreme law-making institution, to an annual circus, a rubber stamp and a stage for the spineless, silly, sexist and not-so-stable.

Nazri should tell the Americans how free he is to go berserk when his brains short-circuit in parliament, like when he: shouted “racist/bloody racist” at MP Kula Segaran 41 times in a space of five to 10 minutes; snapped at a wheelchair-bound Karpal Singh: “You are just jealous because I am standing!”; and screamed at Lim Kit Siang “Stupid, stupid, stupid…!” until the press gave up counting.

Perhaps Nazri could use the above as veritable examples of how supposedly vibrant and vigorous parliamentary democracy is in Bolehland. He could of course throw in the example of a wheelchair-bound Karpal Singh being surrounded by a hostile group of Umno Youth thugs (as the police and security personnel stood idly by) at the Parliament lobby!

The US has much to learn from a loudmouth and loose cannon like Nazri. He has taken Bolehland to greater heights in hype, hypocrisy, half-truths, hysterics and histrionics in Parliament in spite of the declaration of the current Speaker that “Parliament is no longer like a first-world Parliament anymore”.

Good boy, Gani

As Attorney General (AG) Gani Patail will have to paint a glossy picture of how Bolehland is guided and governed by the rule of law though almost everyone knows that it is the AG who is guided by those who rule, to decide how, when, what and which part of the law is upheld! Gani will be too shy to say, it is actually “Rule by law” and at times its more of the mob which rules!

Gani is a product of “good governance”. He has been a good boy of those who govern. They take good care of him in spite of allegations against him such as “blackmailing and extortion of the highest culpability” in Sodomy I, interference of justice in not prosecuting then Minister for International Trade and Industry Rafidah Aziz for corruption, and tampering with evidence and interfering with the investigations on the savage assault on Anwar Ibrahim.

If and when the audience grills Gani on Sodomy II will he give them a go-around? Or will he parrot the government’s pathetic reply to the international community that sodomy is an offence here? It is very offensive indeed to people’s intelligence when you speak of sodomy (under the penal code) without any penile penetration(verified by doctors)! Will Gani be providing a more penetrating view there?

Surely K Street would love to see the kangaroo courts which have become an increasingly special feature of the Malaysian judicial circus. Nazri and Gani should show how the judiciary, the very portal of justice, continues to be reduced to a convenient playground for the ruling elite to legitimize their power grab, persecute their opponents and promote their political agenda, through the perversion of the rule of law by certain court jesters.

Nazri and Gani should speak proudly on the cattle-trading culture (politically brokered judicial appointments) in the judiciary which still lingers on after both of them decided to treat the findings of the Royal Commission on the V.K. Lingam video clip case very lightly. Nazri made a laughing stock of himself as he lectured Parliament on “What may be morally wrong could be legally or politically ‘correct, correct, correct’”.

The Americans must know that ‘good governance’ reigns in our good country. A good number of politicians especially the Umnoputras have made good money in good time in doing what is "good for the people". In their good fortune they built for themselves palatial mansions, own a fleet of posh cars and huge properties abroad, and take their families on pleasure and all-paid-for holidays and place their children in premier schools overseas.

Abdul Hamid’s Acrobatics

Poor Abdul Hamid, who was well-respected though he was an accidental Chief Justice, may have to do a few head-stands and somersaults to convince the audience that the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) which he chairs is doing a good job of curbing corruption and playing a crucial role in good governance. Since its formation, corruption worsened drastically!

Only two per cent of the respondents in a Star online live chat rated the MACC’s performance in fighting corruption as “good”. The rest frowned upon the MACC as a “monumental failure” and a farce in its task of tackling corruption. It has become a favourite tool of the Umno government to repress the opposition and its fatal flaw is that it is not politically neutral.

Since its much hyped up launch on 1 Jan. 2009 the then MACC’s chief commissioner (CC), Ahmad Said Hamdan, “has managed to put his mouth into overdrive while shifting his brains into reverse” (Tunku Aziz). He chose to retire early and will remain haunted by how he had handled the “small case” of the death of Teoh Beng Hock. As for the new CC of the MACC? Well, the public prefers to wait and see.

The Malaysian Circus in K street must of course end with a few key words on how the PM’s slogan of 1Malaysia is a resounding success, for never before has the Government, Parliament, Judiciary and institutions like the Police, Election Commission, and civil service been made to “bond” and “blend” together as One in order to bury the Opposition for good! How’s that for good governance!

Surely Nazri will proudly tell the Americans that he was right on when he declared a few years ago: “…the concept of separation of powers between the legislative, judiciary and executive is ‘too idealistic’ to be implemented in the country.’’

The nagging question still remains as to why should the NAG team waste the taxpayers money and go all the way to put up a circus when the Americans (who created Avatar, remember?) can easily make out the difference between image, illusion and reality?

Courtesy of Reuters

Further their audience would have probably read the report by Hong Kong-based Political and Economic Risk Consultancy (PERC) which warned that Malaysia was “veering towards instability.” Then there are also the annual human rights reports on Third World countries by US-based NGOs and the US Government itself!

Alas, the threesome should have stayed back, saved the rakyat’s money and do something more fruitful or even spiritual, like join in the Prophet Muhammad’s Birthday procession organized by the Penang State Government?

Martin Jalleh
23 February 2010


Najib's Three Stooges in Washington fuck up big time. 
Read this hilarious Instant Review by RPK :-)

Festival of Youssou N'Dour Videos (reprise)

Here's something sweet and sexy to take your mind off the hideous stench of primate politics. Youssou N'Dour is a master of mbalax from Senegal. Mbalax is to the Senegalese what dangdut is to Indonesians, or keroncong to Malays, or reggae to Jamaicans. Youssou is a trueblue griot of his tribe. He carries the story of life in his genetics and expresses it exquisitely through his irresistible music. Youssou N'Dour is arguably the most famous African performer on Earth, having been listed by Time magazine in 2007 as among "The 100 Most Influential People In The World." Yup... there are days I wish I was Youssou N'Dour... would be so cool to sing duets with Neneh Cherry!