Friday, December 6, 2013

Cuteness Therapy. Quite Painless!

Feline daydream
No checked luggage
Oy! Stop leaning!
Oh, that's the bus at last!
Think I'm dry now, can I go play?
Don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing...
Caught a cat burglar!
Hmmm... I think I need a facelift...
Furball blues
Canine pathos
Duck off!
Oops... wrong neck of the woods!
Is the war over?
You've heard of Hang Tuah and Hang Jebat? Well, I'm Hang Dog!
A boy and his elephant
Identity crisis!
X-Canine
Don't give a hoot!
It's the UV that gets me...
Look ma, no ears!
Is this your child, ma'am? I'm a truant officer
I'm only an additional 110 grams!
Ma.... he stole my cherry!
Another sultan of swing
See ya later, momma!
Chimp nanny
Duck Wader
Don't try to right-click!
Gotta lose weight!
Why Me-ee-ee-oo-oo-w?
Sleeping partner
Fetal position keeps the body heat intact
Cuddly fuzzy-wuzzy in search of a little girl
Close encounter with a mirror
Irresistible pussy
Learning to be a Chipmunk
Puss-in-boots
Phwooah, it's true what they say about dog breath!

Who da fuck is Shirley Temple?
Out of my way, pockface!

[Thanks to Olivia de Haulleville who kindly shared these images with me.
First posted 28 February 2012] 

Thursday, December 5, 2013

WTF, PEOPLE... STILL FAST ASLEEP??? (reprise)

[First published 23 May 2008 under the heading "ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, TIME TO WAKE UP!!!"...]

I became aware of the cosmic backdrop to my own existence only at the age of 19, following a spontaneous kundalini experience which opened up my chakras to the perception of multidimensionality. In that heightened state of awareness which mystics call satori (Japanese) or samadhi (Sanskrit), there is absolutely no doubt that every single atom is a living entity endowed with consciousness and that we are integral parts of a magnificent and mysterious web of dynamic energies governed by precise mathematical, musical, and geometric principles.

In effect, to conduct our human lives upon this earth with so little consideration of other lifeforms - mineral, vegetable, animal, elemental, angelic, and deific - is a recipe for calamity and eco-apocalypse.

Yet, that is how most humans have been programmed over the course of many generations - particularly since the introduction of alphanumeric intelligence and the start of so-called history (which really exposes the Male bias, because what about herstory?)

The difference between Aboriginal and Industrial consciousness can be found in the divide between Animism and Book Religion. The animistic mind experiences life as a magical continuum and anything and everything can be charged with spiritual power, even a rock or a river or a tree or a bird.


However, the industrial mind tends to quantify and calculate and manipulate, opting for an anthropocentric, anthropomorphic view of the concept of sacredness or divinity. The notion of God as Father or Celestial Lord (with no reference to the Mother Principle or Earth Goddess) marks the beginning of our self-destructive hubris as a technology-using and abusing species.

Technology is neutral and can be useful (Internet, digital video, free chat) or totally useless (nuclear weaponry, top-secret crowd and climate control tech like ELF and HAARP and chemtrails).

HAARP: the secret technology of climatological warfare?

Unfortunately, the warlike gene in Homo sapiens, fueled by testosteronal urges, has pushed us into an evolutionary dead-end where more than 75% of our precious resources are squandered on warfaring when they could easily be utilized for welfaring (to paraphrase holistic thinker Bucky Fuller).

No doubt a tiny cabal of well-connected families profit obscenely from perpetual war - while the rest end up enslaved by a benighted economic system or wiped out by large-scale epidemics and unnatural disasters (I won't discuss the possibility of man-made earthquakes, droughts, cyclones and tsunamis but the debate rages on this). Now if you're curious where this is leading... I'm suggesting we take stock of our ontological bearings and re-valuate what our Book Religions have indoctrinated us into unquestioningly believing: that Man is the Crown of Creation, granted dominion over Nature by none other than the Archetypal Patriarch, God Himself! This mode of thinking severs us from the flow of life, makes us insensitive to natural beauty and harmony, and causes us to believe we have a right to colonize other lifeforms and cultures and build vainglorious empires wherever we go. And yet it has been the dominant ethos of human civilizations (so-called) since the Year Dot.

To understand where this imperialistic and warlike tendency originates, we shall have to open our minds to the distinct possibility that our "creator gods" were not some "Supreme Being" - but a very much watered-down shadow aspect of the Procreative Force. Sumerian cuneiform tablets dating back 6,000 years refer to these creator gods as Anunnaki; and in the Hebrew version of the Old Testament, they are called the Nephilim (meaning: "Those Who from Heaven Fell to Earth"). This is a very large study and I shall skip the details, leaving the reader a few links with which to begin in-depth research, if so prompted.

The way out is also the way back in to our own Core Essence - which is a fractal of the Nuclear Intelligence of All Existence. It doesn't create and enforce artificial hierarchies, nor does it demand sheeplike obedience, or exclusive worship. The idea of a "jealous god" that we should fear is utter crap!

What Nuclear Intelligence does do is EMPOWER each of us as INDIVIDUALS to reclaim our evolutionary heritage as Cosmic Citizens sojourning on a beautiful physical planet who has undertaken our education, redemption and transformation even as she prepares to quantum jump to the next spiral of her own evolution as a baby star. When we realign our core beings with Mother Earth and Father Sun, our agendas and priorities will also get realigned and rectified. Spiritual maturity, physical beauty and cosmic wisdom will become our goals - not economic, political and military dominance over others!

Antares © 2008



Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Ten Puns for the Literate (repost)


1. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with... transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.


2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire... and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.


3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."


4.  King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.

Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."

"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"

Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."


5. Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they had already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression... "He who has a Tate's is lost!"


6. A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."


7. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

8. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a long voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."


9. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.


10. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

[Courtesy of V. Cornelius. First posted 25 July 2011]