Thursday, January 6, 2011

Joke of the day: 1Malaisea (revisited)

Mahathir, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The Devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the Devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the Devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally Mahathir gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the Devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the Devil why Mahathir got to call Malaysia so cheaply.

The Devil smiles and replies: "Since Najib took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."

[Courtesy of V. Cornelius]

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

One easy way to work a miraculous transformation in Malaysia...

Institutionalized idolatry... or what? I can understand some folks hanging portraits of their dead ancestors on the wall to honor their memories.

Teenagers tend to adorn their bedroom walls with posters of their current idols - usually chart-topping popstars or icons of the silver screen.

College students generally prefer to decorate their dorm rooms with images of their ideological or athletic heroes.

Bachelors tend to worship buxom bombshells like Playmates of the Month or Bollywood sirens.

So why do some folks hang up formal portraits of royalty? Well, I can sort of understand if they are impressed by figures of authority dressed in ceremonial costumes.

But why put up official portraits of public servants? I mean, unless your maid is as hot looking as Robengah, why would you hang her picture on your living room wall?

Perhaps there are a few kinky people who have a collection of infamous criminals' images on their wall - notorious characters like Jack the Ripper or Jeffrey Dahmer (the serial killer and cannibal) or Dick Cheney or even Pol Pot.

But why Najib? He may be involved up to his eyebrows in the cold-blooded murder of a Mongolian woman he never met... but nothing has been established in court... not yet.

So why accord him such a place of honor on your wall? Wouldn't that only serve to bolster his puffed-up ego and make him believe that 69% of the population actually adores him?

If you wish to do something really positive for your nation, people, take down all those ridiculous portraits of the crime minister... and chuck them in the trashcan.

Believe me, everything will improve overnight in this benighted land!

Monday, January 3, 2011


Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971) was a massive musical influence during my teen years. I was introduced to this brilliantly eccentric Russian composer by Duncan S. Catling - a Peace Corps Volunteer assigned to teach English literature in Batu Pahat High School from 1964 to 1965. I'll never forget the day I visited Duncan in his rented terrace house and he put on The Rite of Spring for me. I was never the same again. Stravinsky had the same transmutative effect on the young Frank Zappa.

The recording of Rite of Spring Duncan played for me was conducted by Ernest Ansermet, a Swiss colleague of Igor Stravinsky and only a year younger than the composer. Ansermet was a highly regarded academic conductor who could be relied upon to render technically consummate interpretations of any score.

Many years later I heard a recording of Rite of Spring conducted by Seiji Ozawa and was completely blown away by the raw, primal feel Ozawa succeeded in capturing, especially with the percussive sections. If you'd rather listen to an X-rated interpretation of Rite of Spring, go for the Ozawa recording!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

FINAL CALL (from my friend Michael Dean)

[Just received this collection of cheerful quotes from my dear friend Michael Dean, an actor, author and magus residing in London...]

Take-off is now only moments away. The homeward journey we have all been waiting for, praying for, is about to begin. As the following quotes will confirm, this is the best news the human race has ever received. Please share it with everyone who you think will be glad to hear it. ~ Michael Dean

“Every year Earth and Heaven draw closer together, in preparation for the great coming fusion...”
Vera Stanley Alder
The Initiation of the World
[Rider, 1939]

"Please understand that for various reasons, Earth was set aside for the special task of being the purifier for a time - like a kidney in the body of the solar system, so to speak, removing impurities and returning to the body of the whole only what is harmonious and integrated. In this fashion your planet has performed a tremendous service to all lifestreams and all planetary systems within the solar family, enabling them to continue their patterns of development with greater ease.

"No planet or being is asked to perform such a sacrificial task endlessly, nor is it allowed to do so. The time must come when it resumes its own pattern of growth, new service and development.

"We who have associated with Earth since her inception now look upon this time as one of beauty without measure, joy without comparison. A vast work of purification is upon us to cleanse and beautify Earth as one would beautify and enrobe a bride before her marriage. We recognize that you are still in the outworking of this great event - while to us it is already accomplished."
David Spangler
Links With Space
[Findhorn Press, 1977]

"As the door leading to the future swings open, you are sensing that the game is up, that your obsession with matter is an illusion, and that you are about to undergo a head-on collision with ultimate reality.

“When the breakthrough comes - and it is only moments away, on the hands of the cosmic clock - all the man-made laws and mechanisms that have held you in their thrall for so many centuries - the politics of confrontation, secrecy, espionage, dogma, suspicion, the military machine, social hierarchies and the like - will no longer apply, because that breakthrough, by its very nature, will reveal such systems to be irrelevant.

“It will finally be proved that you belong to the planet, and not the planet to you; that the human race is a single organism; that all energies, terrestrial and cosmic alike, are free, having been placed at your disposal for a purpose - and can no longer be hoarded, withheld, and charged at so much per unit!

“When you wake from your long and troubled sleep, you will see that there is a Plan for humankind. These discoveries will trigger an explosion of creativity such as the world has never seen. Technology will never be the same again.

“When the door is fully open, it will be as if a vast treasure-chest has been flung open and all its wonders are being poured over your heads.

“Never forget, these treasure are not external, bestowed on you from on high, but aspects of yourselves, released at last from the wellsprings of your being.

“This great moment will signal the beginning of yet another chapter in the drama. You will rediscover your real identity, your inner powers, and the purpose of your tenancy of this lovely world:

“You will discover what the atom really is. You will learn who you really are. You will harness Light, and you will decipher the secrets of sound. You will diagnose and heal as if by magic. You will light and heat and power your lives, virtually without cost. You will communicate not only with each other, but with beings from other worlds, other dimensions. You will release the Creator in yourselves. ‘Ordinary’ people, will daily perform what you now call ‘miracles.’

“All this will unleash a tidal wave of joy, relief and goodwill that will sweep away much of your pain, your suffering and your guilt. And when that happens, listen hard, my friends - and you will hear the whole Creation singing:“‘Halleluiah! They are coming home!’”

A great miracle is coming for planet Earth, and the time is now. A new consciousness will be created by the children of the Sun as they ascend with the Earth to a new place among the stars. A new harmonic of light and sound, a golden octave, is being heard on Earth, ringing in the frequencies of ecstasy, union and unconditional love.

Child of the Sun, why did you come to Earth? You came to Earth with a purpose, a plan, a master blueprint encoded in your feelings. Open your world to the Great Mystery.

From now on, there are no more road maps, no more creeds, no more philosophies. From here on, your inspiration comes straight from the Universe, moment by moment. This is the path of innocence, the path of trust. Here, each step is walked only once, and the Universe speaks in the voice of the present. By simply embodying love, you are living the new myth that will create the wave home.

The Mayan Oracle: Return Path to the Stars
Ariel Spillsbury& Michael Bryner
[Bear & Co, 1992]

“We know that this mission is not easy. We also know that many tears have been shed in the awesome process of its unfoldment. Be consoled in the knowing that all tears are soon to be wiped from your eyes and all your pain dismissed and forgotten. The glory and joy of what is about to transpire will render all you have endured a minor expense, a price you would be more than willing to pay again.

“Your task is almost over. This carbon-based planet will shortly burst into a diamond, a gem in the crown of this solar system’s skies. The celebration will then begin. This is Mission Control. Over and out.”

E.T. 101 The Cosmic Instruction Manual
Mission Control with
Diana Luppi

“In this quarter century, your dream produces its harvest. The bridge between Creator and Creation appears. . .”
Ken Carey
Starseed: The Third Millennium
[Harper San Francisco, 1991]

“Before long, all the threads will converge like countless filaments of light, and when they do, the flashpoint will trigger everything that we carry within our hearts and minds and memories.

“Fight on, give heart to your fellow soldiers, and remember that the night before the battle is and ever was
the coldest, longest, most desolate of nights.

“We and our companions have all tasted despair, endured delay, borne injustice, perfidy, betrayal. Now rejoice that we are soon to savor the long- awaited banquet of accomplishment, the wine of victory.”

Archangel Michael
Regent’s Park, London

“Traveling on the new road is like being in the eye of the storm: you can feel the vast changes swirling and churning around you, yet you remain in a state of timelessness and serenity.

“Although we each contain the hologram of the new map within our cellular memory-banks, none of us has yet been given total access to it - most likely because of its unimaginable vastness.

“The process is irreversible. We can wait for countless aeons, or we can do it now. And right now, the Doorway stands open. The pathway is clearly before us. The old road draws to an end. Why wait any longer?!

“The Great Work has just begun. This is what we came here to do, so long, long ago...”
Starborne: A Remembrance for the Awakened Ones
[Starborne Unlimited, 1989]

“You know, I feel the whole of humankind is poised for a mass awakening...”
Magick River
21 August 2001

“The pendulum that has been swinging for aeons away from the vertical will pause for a fraction of a second before beginning its counter-swing.To put it another way: having sunk deeper and deeper into matter - so deep that we have all but forgotten who we really are, where we came from and what we are supposed to be doing here - we’re about to hit the bottom of the U and sheer momentum is going to set us rocketing away on our inevitable return path - upward. Our long climb back towards the Light is about to begin.”

The Project
[HeartWorks, 2010]

“The planetary awakening will occur in but a single moment. It is the event that is central to all of human history. More energy will be released in a very few moments than is typically released upon the surface of the Earth in many years.
Ken Carey
Starseed: The Third Millennium
[Harper San Francisco, 1991]

The heightening of energies is allowing you to take an enormous step in evolution, because you will be comparable to and like the angels. Imagine for a moment the difference between what you are now and what early man, the cave man was. We do not exaggerate when we tell you that it is an even greater step you are now coming to. This will enable you to soar to greater heights on all levels of existence. You are nearly there.

Julie Soskin
The Wind of Change
[Barton House, 1991]

"May Light explode all round the Earth, like the biggest fireworks display of all time, filling the hearts and minds of everyone alive. “May a moment of indescribable joy and love and revelation hit the Earth like an asteroid - now! And if not now - soon! May the nightmare end, and may the party begin... There, I’ve said it. Happy?!”
Heaven calling Earth: Dialogues with Diana

See you in the departure lounge!

Michael Dean