Thursday, November 5, 2009

"Mum... dad... I wanna join the MACC!"

This ticket stub carries some pleasurable memories for me. That's why I have immortalized it here on my blog. I first stumbled on the intriguing poster below on Patrick Teoh's Niamah blog...

What phenomenal inspiration, I thought, to present three stand-up comedians - all Chinese, of course - as the Malaysian Association of Chinese Comedians. I was determined to catch the show, even visited TicketCharge to try and book online... but was put off by the fact that TicketCharge charges an additional RM12 as a "service fee." That's way too much, I thought. I mean, if I were booking a RM375 ticket to see Beyonce, I wouldn't blink an eye at a RM12 service fee. Nobody minds paying up to RM5 extra for the convenience of booking a theater ticket online - but RM12? That's 33% of the ticket price! What if I were buying TWO tickets? RM24 could easily buy a very fine dinner for two...


Fast-forward to 24 October. I get to Jaya One around 8:20PM and, after asking a couple of people, manage to locate PJ Live Arts. As I stand in line at the ticket office, I notice a poster for MACC 1st EGM  that has "Sold Out" scrawled over it in black marker. True enough, it was a full house - not even one seat left! But a girl named Lulu was really helpful. She told me to hang around till just before 9PM - in case somebody cancelled out. Just then I bumped into Patrick Teoh and his lovely wife Min Chan with heartthrob actor/director/playwright Gavin Yap in tow. They were downing some beers and awaiting the arrival of more friends. We had a quick chat and then I headed back to the ticket office where more friends were assembled - including a few prominent bloggers I had never met in person (Nathaniel Tan and Khoo Kay Peng to name but two). They were waiting around for cancellations too.

But as it turned out there was only ONE cancellation... and since I was alone I got it! I wasn't going to miss MACC 1st EGM after all :-)

Pic courtesy of Grant Corban
The President, Vice-President, Treasurer, Secretary and Supreme Advisor of the Malaysian Association of Chinese Comedians is a mutant Malaysian Chinese multi-tasker named Douglas Lim (left). I first heard of him when my daughter was assistant director on a successful sitcom called Kopitiam. She told me supporting actor Douglas Lim was incredibly talented but I must admit I was more keen to be introduced to Joanna Bessey, the star of the series. Back then at only 18, Douglas Lim looked rather nerdy - but it was undeniable that he was a natural-born actor, singer and comedian with tremendous promise.

Well, that promise has been totally fulfilled. Douglas Lim at 32 is a world-class act. I never would have believed a Chinaman could do stand-up comedy the way Douglas does it. Back in the mid-1980s my friend Thor Kah Hoong gave it a shot and he did pretty okay - but I still preferred Chris Rush, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, even Robin Williams. Thor was simply too cerebral, too cynical, too dry (and too skinny) and for my taste.

Along came the irresistible Jit Murad and the inimitable Harith Iskandar, followed by the untoppable Alan Pereira and Indi Nadarajah (of Comedy Court fame). Amazing talents - but not Chinese mah, that's why so funny. Before long, Patrick Teoh and Nell Ng joined the luminous cast of The Instant Cafe Theatre and both proved to be extreme hoots on stage and always entertaining - but while Patrick and Nell are fantastic comedians, they don't actually do stand-up stuff. Riveting pub entertainer Rafique Rashid acquired a loyal following as a singing stand-up comedian whose specialty was "Weird Al" Yankovic-style spoof songs - but his only claim to Chineseness was his predilection for Chinese girls with nice legs. And then, of course, there's the supercool Afdlin Shauki - but also not Chinese, so not counted.

Well, I tell you, this fella Douglas Lim can hold his own on the same stage with all the great names in stand-up comedy - including, possibly, the late great George Carlin. You know why? Because if you can do stand-up comedy with a typical Chinaman accent and not make everybody cringe... you've got to be absolutely fantastic!

Watch Douglas Lim in action, expressing the frustration some of us must feel because we happen to be born yellow instead of black...



Stand-up comedy is perhaps the most challenging form of performance. Apart from your voice, your brain, and your own body - all you've got is a microphone. No fake mustache, no funny hat. The ones who make it in this incredibly challenging medium must also be equipped with brains that can process data at a million times average speed. In short, unless you qualify as a Grade A mutant genius, don't even bother auditioning as a stand-up comedian.

I wish I could upload a few more clips of Douglas doing his thang. But they don't exist on YouTube yet. The kind of rapid-fire multi-layered humor he trades in can't really be transcribed as text because one has to see his face and watch his moves. Suffice to say, Douglas Lim found a new fan in me that night.

The MACC 1st EGM poster featured two other board members of the Malaysian Association of Chinese Comedians: Phoon Chi Ho (listed as an "intern") and Kuah Jenhan ("sacked - pending appeal"). Phoon had to cancel out at the last minute because he was down with chicken pox. That put the onus on 22-year-old Jenhan (left) to work doubly hard since it was now a two-man rather than a three-man show. I'm happy to report that Jenhan's performance was truly outstanding, no doubt because he picked the best sifu (guru) in the business - Douglas Lim, whose masterful tutelage Jenhan acknowledged more than once during his routine.

What impressed me most was the sheer sophistication of the material presented at MACC 1st EGM. Douglas and Jenhan effortlessly negotiated the squiggly boundary between heavyweight cutting-edge political satire and lighthearted pop trivia and kept the audience rolling in the aisles without a moment's letup.

The audience, about 75% Chinese I'd venture, left the theatre feeling it's actually quite okay to be born yellow instead of black or white. That's really no mean feat - to make being Chinese look funky, funny, sexy and lovable all at once!

Douglas and Jenham fully earned the standing ovation they received that memorable Saturday night.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Get Ready For Galactic Alignment!

Recorded July 2009


The Final Mayan Calendar steps to 2012:
8 November 2009 – beginning of the 6th Night


By Carl Johan Calleman

Before going into the specifics of the upcoming sixth night, November 8, 2009 – November 2, 2010, of the Galactic Wave Movement (or Underworld) I feel I should clarify some of my basic points of departure for understanding the Mayan calendar, since the various ideas that are currently proposed for this vary significantly. There are for instance those that believe that the end date of the Mayan calendar only marks the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new. On my own part I however think that we are approaching something much more profound than just a point in a cycle that again will be repeated. The only Mayan inscription from ancient times, the Tortuguero monument, which describes the end of their calendar says that nine cosmic forces will then manifest. Empirically, there is also overwhelming evidence from modern research that we are approaching a point in time when nine evolutionary levels (so called Underworlds) of the cosmic plan are simultaneously going to be completed. This would imply that we are approaching not another cycle or another shift, but the end to all shifts, which have been driving evolution since the beginning of the universe. Such an end to all shifts could conceivably provide the basis for a harmonious eternal peace on Earth.

What is about to transpire now is in other words not something that has ever happened before in the history of the universe. Maybe this impending change, partially unknown, causes the widespread denial that I feel dominate many people at the current moment. Rather than facing a great change in our socioeconomic relationships (since any change in human consciousness also implies a change in our relationships) many prefer to fantasize about some physical or astronomical event, that purportedly is going to happen on December 21, 2012. In reality the Mayan calendar is however not about something that will happen on a singular date, but a description of a divine plan for the evolution of humankind where quantum shifts between calendrical energies bring about shifts in consciousness. Thus, human consciousness will continue to be transformed step by step in accordance with this plan until we come to the real end date of the process of creation, October 28, 2011. At this date the highest quantum state of the universe will be attained (13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13 13 Ahau) when the shifts disrupting the harmony will come to an end. Obviously, we are not there yet.

In this plan for the evolution of consciousness we are now approaching the sixth night of the Galactic Wave Movement, the eighth of the nine levels, which will begin on November 8, 2009. If my understanding of the Mayan calendar is correct we will in this coming night be witnessing the most significant transformation of consciousness ever in the history of mankind. What is exciting about this is that I feel that a relatively clear picture of how a new world is going to be born is now finally becoming evident. On the other hand, what is also becoming increasingly clear is that this birth is likely to become very demanding. For this reason it becomes all the more important to understand how some of the difficulties ahead actually serve the delivery of this new world even though it may not always seem that they do so in the moment. If people can gain a realistic understanding of how this new world will be born they may be able to keep a hope for the future, which is based on something more than mere wishful thinking. Unfortunately, much confusion reigns about the Mayan calendar and many that present themselves as experts on this deny the ancient Mayan knowledge that there are nine cosmic forces that are about to manifest, and that it is these, and nothing else, that explains why a new world will be born.

Thus, what will happen in the time ahead cannot be understood from the sixth night of the Galactic Underworld alone. The overlapping of the cycles preparing for the ninth, and highest, level in the cosmic evolution scheme; the Universal Wave Movement (see Figure below) with the energy of this sixth night will then also need to be taken into consideration. Because of this overlapping, and the speed-up of time associated especially with the latter Wave Movement, not only do I think that the upcoming period will be unusually intense, but also energetically quite complex.

Click to enlarge

At the time of this writing (October 31, 2009, 1 Ben) we are towards the end of the sixth day, the period of flowering in the process from seed to mature fruit in the Galactic Wave Movement, which precedes the sixth night. As I predicted in an earlier article it would now to some economists seem that the “global economic recession” (or the worst of it) is already over. There are however certain things currently going on in the world that belies this and are more in line with the prediction I made in an article in May of a further economic downturn, especially expressed in a fall in the value of the US dollar, to take place around the time that the sixth night begins. While several sources now predict a dollar fall it is important to note that mine was made a relatively long time ago and if it proves to be correct shows that what is happening in the economy is part of a divine plan charted by the Mayan calendar.

My prediction of a further economic downturn was based on the observation that nights, at least in the second part of an evolutionary Wave Movement, usually mean at the very least a slowdown of economic growth. An indication of such an impending downturn at this upcoming night is for instance that there has been a rush for gold, which for the first time passed the magical limit of USD 1000/troy ounce. Moreover, an index of insider trading shows that people knowledgeable about the actual basis for valuing US stock tend to think of this as highly overvalued. Most importantly, increasingly higher voices are now raised in almost all corners of the world for the replacement of the petrodollar system and thus also of the use of the US dollar as the world’s reserve currency. These various indices thus do not indicate that the “recession” is over, but if anything that an intensification of the economic decline, especially in the indebted West, is imminent. It seems that investors are escaping assets in the form of paper or digit values, which is exactly what we would expect from this late phase of the Galactic Wave Movement, when a shift in consciousness amounting to a shift from abstract to concrete economic values is taking place. Thus, while many will say that the changes are a result of a conspiracy, for instance against the US, the point to realize is that if that were the case they would not have been predictable from the Mayan calendar.

I believe that what is happening in the world’s economy is something much more profound and fundamental than a temporary recession and is a direct consequence of the particular transformation of consciousness that the Galactic Wave Movement is bringing. As I explain in my new book The Purposeful Universe, consciousness is primarily a relationship to the Tree of Life, which exists on many different levels of the cosmos and causes synchronized shifts on these different levels. What this means is that the shifts in consciousness that give new directions to our lives will also directly affect the world and society at large and how we relate to this. A shift in consciousness is hence not something that only happens in our heads, but is simultaneously also expressed in changes in our relationships. Our economic relationships are thus also subject to shifts in consciousness and the evolution of this. We should then expect an even further escape from abstract values as the sixth night begins, a shift that may be expected to especially severely hit the western economies of the United States and the United Kingdom, which remain the financial centers of the world and control much of its banking activities. At the present time these nations, and especially the United States, are so indebted that there really is no need to present an explanation as to why there would be another downturn in its economy. All that is needed for this is something to trigger what is going to happen anyway one way or another. While many things may trigger such a downturn, and the media will place all the emphasis on this trigger, the deeper reasons for a downturn is best understood from the Mayan calendar. From a Mayan calendar perspective the ongoing decline in economic growth reflects a stepwise adaptation to the end of the economic cycles that will be associated with the Mayan end date (or beginning date of a new world if you like).

If the downturn of the economy is part of a process creating the conditions for the birth of a new world a relevant question to ask is how deep it is going to be. Even if it seems clear that the value of paper money, and especially the US dollar, will be hit, it is still somewhat of an open question how far-reaching the consequences of this will be. I think this can only be understood from a study of what might be the nature of the new world to be born. When it comes to understanding this it seems however that there are actually no ancient Mayan sources to consult. The Mayan sources only say that Nine cosmic forces are going to manifest as the calendar comes to an end, but there is no ancient inscription, which talks about what will follow upon this. Because of this dearth of material I suggest that we turn to sources from the large Abrahamic religions such as the Bible or the Quran, which do say something on the matter. If we combine these with our understanding from the Mayan calendar I feel we may gain some idea of what is to come. I believe everything that has been happening in this time plan has been subordinated to the delivery of this new world.

Hence, the Quran says this in Surah 82:17-19: “And what will explain to thee what the Day of Judgment is? Again, what will explain to thee what the Day of Judgment is? (It will be) the Day when no soul shall have power (to do) aught for another: For the command, that Day, will be (wholly) with Allah.” I believe this disappearance of dominance may refer to the Universal Underworld, which brings a consciousness of oneness and transparency to our whole beings and all of our past actions. If we take this seriously it would imply that all chains to people dominating others would need to be broken. The last book of the Bible, the Book of Revelation 21:4-5 also describes a new world to be born: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new.” This would seem to imply that all chains to the past would need to be broken for the new world to be born. Taken together it would seem that as pre-requisites for the birth of a new earth we would need to free ourselves from the chains to the past as well as from chains to other people.

Loom of Maya

To some these changes may look so great that it might even be more comfortable to fantasize that the world would come to an end than to go through all of the necessary changes that would more or less turn our world upside down. Certainly, there is also a tremendous amount of people in power, who do not want to see such a transformation towards equality and harmony coming about. These quotes may however give us a hint about where the economic downturn may be leading us and how deep it will be. Will money for instance completely disappear? I think the answer to this is that money will disappear to the extent that it no longer chains the world to the past. In practice, this probably means that all thinking about profitable investing etc is somewhat beside the point, since the emerging new world is not likely to be a growth economy based on the drive for accumulation of abstract values. More likely, the new world is going to be one based on sharing and care-taking of all members of society as the unity consciousness of the Universal Wave Movement, presumably after much turmoil, eventually is established.

Read the full article here.

Who is Carl Johan Calleman and why is he so obsessed with the Mayan Calendar?

HEY GUYS, BE NICE TO MY FRIEND NOW!

Bernard Khoo aka Zorro and I

Got an SMS this evening that pissed me off. My buddy Bernard is being harassed by Najib's Nazi Regime. The cops have called him in for questioning over something he ranted about in his popular blog. This sort of shit is never good news. I doubt anything will emerge from Zorro's 3PM appointment at the Commercial Crimes Department (near the Bank Negara KTM stop) - but the fact that the regime is on the rampage again augurs ill for the truth-loving.

Zorro speaks truth to Power. And it appears that Power doesn't want to hear; in fact, wants Zorro to shut up. Or at least tone down his rage against the nightmare of a nation in the clutches of terminal dementia. You've got to be demented if you can endure Pink Lips's 1Malaysia crap - or you may have grown up in the era of Vision 2020 and Malaysia Boleh and are therefore immune to official spin.

One thing Umno hasn't learned: if a very large number of people detest you, switching to a different brand of shampoo won't improve your chances of re-election. Even a complete wardrobe change won't save your skin.

The only real option is to apologize, retire to the wings, and let another management team take over. A genuine show of humility, remorse and the beginnings of wisdom should make it easier for us to forgive you and refrain from coming down hard on you.

Ten years playing the role of Loyal Opposition will do wonders for your soul. People may even start liking you again.

Meanwhile, let's not stand for heavy-handed tactics to inject fear into the blogosphere. If you care for freedom and justice, show your moral support for Zorro by turning up at the Commercial Crimes Department at 3PM, 4 November 2009.


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Most Obnoxious Cop In KL?


Ladies and Gentlemen, watch these videos and you'll agree that Brickfields OCPD Asst Comm Wan Abdul Bari Wan Abdul Khalid fully deserves the 2009 Award for "The Most Obnoxious Cop in KL"...



Here he is, the delightfully obnoxious Wan Bari Wan Khalid, interrupting Tian Chua's speech during Nurul Izzah's fund-raising dinner at Taman Sri Sentosa on 31 October 2009. A special halloween treat for horror movie fans!

Flashback to 8 May 2009...



For the second straight night the Brickfields police have arrested people who gathered to show support for activist Wong Chin Huat, arrested under the Sedition Act on Wednesday.

In a repeat of last night's shameful demonstration of police aggression, 14 people were arrested again today for allegedly participating in an illegal assembly. About two hours later, six others were also taken in, including lawyers who had come to assist those arrested earlier.

The 14 - nine men and five women - included PKR Youth movement exco member Ginie Lim, KLSCAH Youth chief Ng Chong Soon, journalist Teh Yi Keong, PKR party worker Chua Yee Ling and several student activists.

The arrested lawyers were Fadiah Nadwa Fikri, Syuhaini Safwan, Puspawati Rosman, Ravinder Singh and Murnie Hidayah Anuar. They are all from the Bar Council's legal aid centre.

All six were arrested for illegal gathering.

Camera: Amirrudin Abdullah
Editor: Lydia Azizan


If I were the homo minister, I'd either promote this psychopath to IGP and turn the whole country into Abu Ghraib... or hang my head in shame and resign.





Sunday, November 1, 2009

LIGHTNING GOT MY MODEM... AGAIN!


Well, it's a Sunday and the only place in Kuala Kubu Bharu where I might have picked up a new modem is the cybercafe I use whenever my phone line is down. Unfortunately they don't sell any basic modems. No way I'll fork out RM200+ for a Level One modem with built-in wireless router. So I'll just have to wait till the Kedai Telekom opens tomorrow to sort it out. Meanwhile, read all about the mysteries of lightning here.