Thursday, March 14, 2024

Oppressors versus The Oppressed (reprise)

Where the children in the gutter cry out for bread, 
please do not be so insensitive as to ask why we do not eat cake

This started out as a wordy response to an email from a virtual friend based in Scotland - a veteran spiritual warrior who has waged war against The Machine for nearly 60 years. He wrote:

I don't believe you have any idea of what is going on in some parts of this 3D Virtual Reality trip simply because you are fortunate enough to find yourself as a respected member of a village in the jungles of Malaysia. Some of us are not quite so fortunate, living as we do next to jungles of concrete and the Heart of Babylon's Darkness. 

IT WAS NEVER INTENDED that any person - nor any creature of the field or sea or forest, not even the illegitimate offspring of an earthworm - be in NEED on ANY level - particularly when it comes to basics like food, shelter, emotional and physical security, and the opportunity to evolve beyond all limitations.

Every man, woman, and child is INDEED a STAR (as the much maligned Aleister Crowley was so fond of saying) and, as such, possesses intrinsic value beyond measure in the mere fact that they EXIST. The untwisting of the genetic knots and tangles within our earthly biosphere will transform NEED back to EDEN.

The 3D industrial society the majority of humans now find themselves living in is, in truth, a diabolical travesty of all universal principles of aesthetics and ethics. What many call "Babylon" - where "dark satanic mills" rule and every other lifeform (whether mineral, plant, animal, or human) is treated as an energy source to feed the juggernaut of Gross National Product - is, in effect, a MIScreation brought about by the spawn of "lesser gods" (whether you call them Nephilim or Renegade Reptilians).

As such, it really NEVER ought to have happened. But it did - and here we are, mostly struggling to emerge from this dark and dense evolutionary cocoon into a new butterfly day.

Generation after generation, programmed to "earn a living" and "sing for their supper"… being indoctrinated with ideas like "there's no such thing as a free lunch" and "survival of the fittest"... parents scrimping and saving to send their brighter kids to the best schools, so they will have a chance to move up the social ladder as "professionals" with a degree behind their names, speak posh and be invited to join elite clubs, where they are eventually tapped on the shoulder, taken into the backroom and initiated into "the facts of life" aka the Malthusian ideology that there simply isn't enough to go around and that we must grit our teeth and discreetly and periodically cull the population ("Every gardener will tell you plants thrive better when regularly pruned")...

Whether the prevailing doctrine is "White Man's Burden" or "noblesse oblige" or "pedigree rules"... the sharper intellects are identified and integrated into the ranks of the corporate and upper classes - provided they keep their noses clear of Promethean politics and avoid the temptation to side with the rabble and turn into "whistleblowers."

Those that begin moving in this populist direction are turned into icons and trademarks even as the movements they inspired are infiltrated, co-opted or subtly hijacked (the way Tony Blair led the Labor Party back to the middle, then gradually farther and farther right; in any case, bipartisan politics is invariably a game of Dum & Dee and, as in the soccer bizniz, star players are routinely bought and traded by football clubs).

I know as much as anybody who accesses the internet - and probably more - about atrocities occurring everywhere you look, from slum kids in Manila and Rio de Janeiro to slave girls in Israel and the Balkans and the millions dying of hunger, thirst, epidemics, war, and "natural" disasters every year. Almost every hardship and injustice has its origins in religious dogma: e.g., the Roman Church, like every empire eager for quantitative growth, has ensured that their subjects keep producing children as cannon fodder, and by suppressing and distorting natural human sexuality, encouraged commercialized and commodified sex which is now a multibillion dollar global industry.

The Islamic doctrine of "Insha'allah" ("if God wills") and the Hindu teaching of Karma made people passive and fatalistic, accepting the harshest "fate" with mulish docility and a stoicism founded on faith in the afterlife. Judaism told its followers they were the Chosen Few - and everybody else was fair game, worthless and totally dispensable goyim.

Above all, the three major Book Religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) have effectively disconnected their adherents from DIRECT EXPERIENCE OF NATURE AS THE ORIGINAL LIFE MATRIX - and humans are today so afraid of the wilderness, and all that occurs outside of the Artificial Matrix, you have urbanites anxiously asking about mosquitoes and snakes when they see images of a jungle dwelling.

I have made a lifelong study of what drives the Control Freak in all of us; the childhood emotional traumas that subsequently manifest as ruthless, heartless ambition. Yes, I know the hellish hologram very well indeed. I visit it often (for research purposes) but I have no desire to live there!

When you've spent your entire life breathing foul, toxic air and drinking denatured piped water, your entire neurology is impacted - and your perceptions are flavored by despair and a constant sense of oppression and victimization.

Suffering itself is highly addictive. We get used to discomfort and disease and sabotage all hopes of ever getting free of these vicious circles. Parents in Calcutta reportedly mutilate their children so they can enjoy a career as beggars. Parents in New Hampshire program their kids to be skeptical and mistrustful of "unscientific" data (making them blind and deaf to their own instincts and impulses) so they stand a better chance of survival in the shark-infested waters of the profit-driven workaday reality.

In short, the mess is so massive it has turned into a Gorgon - and those who attempt to look closely at the horrendous problems that confront us turn to stone, or at least their hearts do. Compassion fatigue quickly sets in.

Let's be honest about it. How many images of napalmed Vietnamese kids, tortured Iraqis, beached whales, and cormorants encased in oil slicks can any of us process before our brains switch off to protect our sanity? So most of us settle for signing the occasional internet petition, and if the issue really moves us to action, we make a PayPal donation to some movement or organization set up to deal with it. Some of us even sign up as active members of this or that campaign - whether to topple the military junta in Burma or to stop the World Bank from building another catastrophic dam in Asia, Africa or Latin America.

Most folks on this planet are still fairly decent. And many are old enough souls to realize we are truly at an evolutionary crossroads where Utopia or Oblivion are the only possible outcomes... and if you were the CEO of Exxon-Mobil or heir to the Rothschild fortune, would you opt for oblivion even if it felt like the "moral" thing to do?

Illustration by David Dees

These destructive and enslaving agendas (reptilian or otherwise) are already doomed to oblivion. They will NOT endure beyond the next few tumultuous years of linear time. Are they simply going to stop in their tracks, turn around, and shuffle off into the sunset of "Western civilization"? Or will the controversial public service information folks like me disseminate online ultimately ignite enough minds to shift the balance of power?

Truth is, I don't know. Nobody really knows. But all of us DO know it's a critical juncture. Quantum jumps are being made. Ascension is in progress. The planet's Schumann Resonance Frequency has reportedly increased in the last 30 years from an average of 7.8 to nearly 13... and with the incredible solar flares and Coronal Mass Ejections of the last few years altering the magnetic field of the entire Solar System, something COSMIC is DEFINITELY happening... but we don't know exactly what it is, do we, Mr Jones?

And what do religious dogmas and spiritual doctrines teach? That we are a species "FALLEN from Grace," born with "ORIGINAL SIN," and "TRAPPED in dense physical bodies" (from which our Souls will only find release when the bodies die).

The Manichaeans and early Gnostics developed a pronounced aversion for all things carnal and mundane, yearning to return to the Spirit Realms and be free from the Prison Planet and our fleshly forms, subject to decay and death, in which our souls sojourn.

Hindus and Buddhists have the same disregard for what is deemed the "lower" chakras and "lower" worlds - visualizing a realm of immortal splendor where the gods reside and to whose vast beings our soul fragments will return when our negative karma is fully paid and our moral debts cleared. This is the underlying assumption of all ascetic practice: that deliberate DENIAL of the physical senses and the body's desires will help the spiritual aspirant attain Nirvana or, at least, the status of "Holy Man."

New Age philosophies, so-called, tell us we are Spiritual Beings Having A Human Experience, implying thereby that the "human experience" is akin to a bunch of suburban kids "slumming it" in the poor quarters of the city, to gather experience, get a few cheap thrills, or just for the goddamn hell of it. But, ultimately, Spirit is "superior" to Matter/Form - and since the physical world we know is referred to as Mother Earth (the word Matter derives from Mater anyway), while the abstract idea of Heaven (where dwells the Father) somehow represents Fire & Air (Spirit & Mind) - as in "Father Sky and Mother Earth" - it follows that the Male Principle has predominance - or at least pre-eminence - over the Female, just as High must be "better than" Low!

So, despite all the goddess-cult resurrections and overt feminism and the refreshing sensitivity of New Age men, the masculine Left Brain continues to drive - and after a while, when the evidence of the senses begins to overwhelmingly contradict and neutralize all that sweet talk about Oneness, Light and Love... we retreat into Militant Survivalism, and prepare ourselves for Street Action and Guerrilla Warfare Against Big Brother.

In short, just about EVERYBODY has been looking down the wrong end of the telescope. 99% of everything we think we know isn't actually so. What are we going to do now that we know this much - that we know NOTHING at all?

We replay our emotional loops, which are like movie files. Let's say I had a peak experience the first time ever I kissed a girl. I keep scanning the reality field for opportunities to relive that high.

Let's say I felt like a hero standing up to some pompous arsehole of a teacher when I was 13, and though I was sent to detention, I won the admiration of my peers. So I keep finding pompous arseholes in authority to challenge, and I don't mind being kept in detention so long as I get to experience being a hero. Having a stash of weed makes life on the outskirts bearable. The dope mellows me out, but when the supply runs out my neural circuits feel uneasy and agitated and that makes me grouchy. Turn on the telly... and there they are... lots of pompous arseholes to get mad at saying stupid things and introducing legislation to make life even more limited and demeaning for those on the economic fringe! See what I'm getting at? More or less what the docudrama What The BLEEP Do we Know?! addresses (if you haven't seen it, please do, just click on the link).

It's certainly useful to monitor the airwaves and keep track of the game of gratuitous violence as it plays out in the 3D Matrix. But staying alert to epiphanies, and maintaining your life on Earth in pleasure, and in joy and gentle compassion, blessing each breath as it leaves your lungs so it can infect somebody else with the sense of the miraculous, is far more powerful and effective use of our energy.

When enough of us regain our self-mastery as Christed Sovereigns of our own destiny, the many layers of Reality will rapidly and effortlessly realign themselves in accordance with the Supreme Will of our Unified Thought Field. Heaven on Earth will prevail at long last - this time, forever.

Can I rest my case now? Incidentally, where I live cake is the same price as wholemeal bread.

[Originally posted in August 2010, extracted from an email dating back to 2007 or so. Reposted 11 February 2013, 6 November 2019 & 25 November 2021]

Tuesday, March 12, 2024


Reincarnational fragments – or, more accurately, aspects of my multidimensional Self - have been accumulating and reintegrating in my conscious memory since 1969. This isn’t a continuous process. Many years go by when I am not aware of or bothered by these furtive intimations of immortality.

Sometimes a parallel life inserts itself into my immediate reality and I don’t know what it means or how to use it until much later. For instance, I came across the name Cthulhu in my teen years, chancing upon some paperback reprints of H.P. Lovecraft’s gothic tales of terror. At the time all Cthulhu represented to me was some indescribably hideous and scary monster from the subterranean depths of our collective unconscious, something you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley.

Subsequently I read two stimulating novels by Colin Wilson (The Mind Parasites and Philosopher’s Stone) and there was further light shed on this Cthulhu character: Wilson acknowledged Lovecraft’s source material but painted a somewhat different portrait of this entity, the first God-King of Mu, whom he called Ktolo and described as a very lonely being that after aeons of absolute rule in this remote sector of the galaxy turned somewhat misanthropic and withdrew from mortal view. Within generations Ktolo had entered the realm of myth as The Ineffable and Terrifying Presence, the Nameless One All Souls Have To Face On Judgment Day, and so on.

In effect, Ktolo had become the Devourer of Souls, the Invisible God all men feared. He it was who installed the earliest machinery of remote government on this planet. It facilitated the smooth administration of Mu’s far-flung colonies and kept everything humming along in apparently orderly fashion. Greed and Fear, Carrot and Stick: the tried and tested Management Method still in use today, after all these hoary millennia.

Ktolo’s sad story might well have inspired the legend of the Beauty and the Beast, in that he had begun to regress to the point where he felt himself too grotesquely complex, too repugnant, too horribly indifferent to ever be loved. What became of Cthulhu-Ktolo? No one knows and no one dares speculate. We may assume that Ktolo got so bored with existence that he longed for death, a permanent end to it all. But, alas, dying is just as illusory and transient as being born: Ktolo found himself scattered over time in myriad incarnations, each with a built-in dread of regaining total recall, for that would only result in Ktolo finding himself trapped in his own ego for eternity.

We do know, from documentary evidence collected and translated by the enigmatic James Churchward, that after the long reign of Ktolo, one of his descendants rose to new heights of popularity as King Ahau of Mu (aka One Hunahpu). This was just before the destruction of Lemuria, circa 83,000 B.C.E.

It was after the March equinox, 1993, in Bundoora (an aboriginal burial site in Victoria, Australia, where once stood a prediluvian stone circle) that my memory of having been Ktolo reactivated. I realized then that even in my present incarnation I had retained the same consonants (KTL) in my 3D name, Kit Leee. For some reason, many people, even old friends, have insisted on addressing me as “Kitleee” instead of just “Kit.” Now I understood why!

The implications of my life as Ktolo only recently struck home, after I obtained a Skyview Astrochart from my friend Katharina Bless. My lifelong antagonism towards all forms of external authority (in other words, government, bureaucratic control mechanisms) suddenly made perfect sense. Who would know better how detrimental government was to true spirituality than the one who instituted it on this planet during the infancy of human civilization...

That's right, folks, I'm the bloody nincompoop who introduced bureaucracy to Earth!

And that’s not the end of it. I just finished reading a 730-page account of Sir Frank Swettenham’s career as a colonial agent in Malaya. He arrived as a fresh-faced cadet in 1871 and by 1883 had been appointed British Resident of Selangor. It took him another 12 years to become Resident-General of the Federated Malay States and another 6 to be made Governor of Singapore. Before he opted for early retirement in 1904, he was named High Commissioner of the Straits Settlements as well. In short, Sir Frank was perhaps the most ambitious and hardheaded imperialist that ever clawed his way to fame and fortune between the 19th and 20th centuries. 

And it was he who introduced the idea of “development and progress” to what was once a tropical sleepy hollow, more than 90% of which was covered with luxuriant jungle (today we’re lucky if there’s even 30% left). Indeed, Sir Frank Swettenham was the blithering idiot whose excellent but environmentally destructive work on behalf of Ego and Empire I’ve been battling to undo in the last 30 years.

Throughout his illustrious career in Malaya, Frank was known to support the political supremacy of the Malay chiefs and his final act, two months before he finally checked out at the overripe age of 96, was to write a strong letter of protest against the proposal of the Malayan Union which would have granted all ethnic groups full rights as citizens under the Union Jack. With the benefit of hindsight, this was perhaps a far better idea than leaving state affairs in the hands of unscrupulous pirate kings and scheming grand viziers.

Well, once again, I only have myself to blame because I was that pompous bastard (can’t recall how I stumbled upon this particular realization but I’ve known it since 1989).

As for other lives, other personae, there’s much I have to say – but not here, not now – takes too much work putting it all in words. Language itself tends towards linearity and can never satisfactorily express the nonlinearity of multidimensional experience. However, it CAN hint at interconnections and far-flung associations and inspire fairly instructive analogies and metaphors.

For now, let’s just say that I have no one to accuse of screwing up the world but various aspects of myself (including those directly involved with what has been recorded as the Anunnaki colonization of the planet about 440,000 earthyears ago).

Yes, the atrocious misbehavior of covert agencies like Mossad, MI6 and the CIA stems from my own fear of being dethroned, of losing control. The sociopathology of industrial tycoons like Bill Gates (a majority shareholder in Monsanto, the most evil enterprise on earth, and arguably the greatest megalomaniac in the annals of linear time) is a spinoff of my own deepest, darkest desire to be the Sole Star in the firmament, the Only Living Deity (and a jealous one, to boot, who will tolerate no graven images lest they present my likeness in an unfavorable light).

So what does one do in view of this terribly incriminating self-knowledge? For a start, laugh and forgive oneself one’s apparent trespasses and stupidities. Next, to acknowledge that there is ultimately no one “out there” causing all these problems: it’s only bits of oneself that have yet to be brought safely home and celebrated as prodigal sons and daughters of our own limitless being. Why curse our experiential vehicles when they break down? We designed them and we must own up to minor design flaws, all of which can easily be rectified as soon as we learn to outgrow being embarrassed by our own excesses and oversights. Hey, Mr Hyde, you can’t hide forever...

By Chiron’s grace, may I be wholly reintegrated and healed, so that henceforth and ever after all will know peace, unity, harmony, perfect joy, and endless bounty.

The Entity Currently Going By The User ID:

[Written 9 January 2003, revised 12 February 2012 & 20 August 2015 & reposted 13 September 2016, 30 August 2019, 12 May 2020 & 13 November 2020]

Blessings & love to a beautiful couple... Carlos Santana & Cindy Blackman! (reprise)

This post is for Morgaine la Faye who touched my heart from afar...

"People get stuck in their stories. End your story and begin your life." ~ Carlos Santana

Love Divinely Orchestrated
By Marsala Rypka

Carlos Santana was just 22 years old when he and his band mesmerized 500,000 people who were at Woodstock, the three-day phenomenon in August 1969 that is widely regarded as one of the greatest and most pivotal moments that changed the history of Rock and Roll.

Santana on 30 July 2012 (Erik Kabik)
Forty-two years later, Carlos the eternal, cosmic melody man, is still using his supremely magical gift of music to touch us in that deepest, most sensual, primal, spiritual place which can only be accessed by the pure, truthful emotion of Divine Love that connects us to our higher selves.

He says, “My job in this life is to give people spiritual ecstasy through music. In my concerts people cry, laugh, dance. If they climaxed spiritually, I did my job. I did it decently and honestly.”

If you’ve been to a Santana concert than you know that Carlos delivers that spiritual ecstasy that courses through your veins and electrifies every cell in your body. If you haven’t seen Carlos perform live, here's a version of “Black Magic Woman” that will knock your socks off.

I had the pleasure of talking with Carlos on three separate occasions and each time he was in a very different place emotionally.

The first time was in July 2006 when I did a phone interview with him and his first wife Deborah, who had written a memoir, Space Between the Stars – My Journey to an Open Heart. I loved the book, which is a real, raw and unvarnished account of Deborah’s life with and without her famous husband.

When I asked Carlos how he felt about Deborah revealing the good and bad parts of their lives together he said, “I was there when all three of our children were born and I’m sensitive to the dimension of both pain and joy. I celebrate her honesty. I’ve learned to be patient with myself because of her.

“A lot of things that happened in my life had to do with how I was introduced to sex. It wasn’t nice, it was brutal. When Deborah learned how I developed from a child to manhood growing up in Tijuana, she thought it important for me to seek therapy otherwise we were going to be divorced because I was subconsciously angry about my loss of innocence.

“Sometimes you have to forget about being bashful or uncomfortable and bring something into the light. Deborah’s book has a lot of light because women write her and say, ‘I have the courage now to voice my thoughts and opinions and not be left in the shadows.’ If it’s empowering for them, imagine what it’s like for me. I love when I am able to make her happy, but I’ve learned that she is responsible for her own happiness as we all are.”

Carlos Santana by Erik Kabik
The second time I spoke with Carlos was in April 2010 when I met with him at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas where he was performing regularly. As soon as I sat down next to him in the dimly lit nightclub called “The Joint,” I sensed that beneath his polite persona, he was in a very somber mood.

I knew that Deborah had filed for divorce in October 2007, and I decided ahead of time that I wasn’t going to make Carlos uncomfortable by bringing up her name or reminding him that I had interviewed them both four years earlier.

It didn’t take long however, before Carlos mentioned his ex-wife. When I asked him what three people had most influenced his life, he said: “My mother, who put my four sisters, my brother and me in a car and said, ‘Nos vamos,’ which means we’re leaving, and she took us from the little town of Autl├ín de Navarro between Puerta Vallarta and Guadalajara, to Tijuana. She did the same thing when we left Tijuana and went to San Francisco in hopes of joining my dad who we hadn’t seen in a year when he went looking for work. We only had enough money for one way and no we had no guarantee we’d find him…”

Career-wise Carlos talked about the influence of musician Miles Davis, record producer Clive Davis, and music promoter Bill Graham, who was instrumental in bringing Santana to Woodstock.

Then Carlos mentioned Deborah. “For 34 years we were each other’s teacher, student and best friend. We were sent to each other by God and we created three incredible children who are now our teachers. I don’t know where Deborah is in her own journey. I trust she’s on the road to self-discovery and her own sense of self-worth away from me…Deborah is a special woman who exudes a certain kind of grace and royalty. Not like Queen Elizabeth in that it was given to her. Some people can be dirt poor like in Gatooma, Zimbabwe, and yet they still carry themselves like Duke Ellington or Nat King Cole. It’s not about the money you have. It’s about your sense of self that allows you to carry yourself royally. I can just look at a woman and tell if she is deeply invested in her illusions rather than her own life.”

I paused for a moment. Raw emotion hung in the air and I sensed the sadness Carlos was feeling. Sometimes when I asked him a question he would close his eyes and speak as if he was channeling the answer from another realm.

“What is your most treasured material possession,” I gently inquired.

“Nothing,” he said. “If I don’t see it, I don’t miss it, including my guitar. That is especially true since my divorce. My mom told me as a child that everything belongs to God and whenever he wants something, open your hand and let him have it. So intuitively I don’t have Velcro attached to anything physical, psychological or emotional. I am free of all that I am.”

The most valuable possession you can own is an open heart. The most powerful weapon you can be is an instrument of peace.” ~ Carlos Santana

When I asked Carlos what made him angry, he said, “My own fears. I used to be a very intense, compulsive person. I’m way less now. Someone asked me once, ‘What are you most afraid of?’ and I said, ‘Disappointing God,’ until I realized there’s no way I could disappoint God because he doesn’t see my faults, they aren’t issues to him. They’re only issues for my ego which thinks it’s separate from God. Now that I understand that, I’m like a snake shedding its skin and what I disliked most about myself – that feeling of waking up thinking that the world was out to screw me because I was molested or that I wasn’t worthy of all his incredible attention. – is leaving me.

“I was always angry because my ego had convinced me that I was useless, hopeless and worthless. I was playing hide and seek with myself. I couldn’t feel the joy when Supernatural won nine Grammys. I couldn’t feel the delight of walking up to the podium and receiving an award from Bob Dylan… because I was at war and in conflict with myself and my heart was crushed. Well that guy is gone, and now I’m able to say that God is gracious, people are generous, and I’m grateful… More and more I’m learning to bless my contradictions and my fears and transform them.”

Time passes, life goes on and on July 9, 2010 Carlos proposed to his drummer Cindy Blackman who was on tour with him. I’m so glad he found love again I thought when I heard the news. She has to be a very special lady to have captured his heart.

Five months later on December 19, 2010, Carlos and Cindy got married on the island of Maui. Love is the ultimate healer and I knew that Carlos’ heart was happy.

A few months later when we were planning the June 2011 “Bridal” issue of Luxury Las Vegas magazine, I suggested to my editor that because Carlos and Cindy have a house in Las Vegas, it would be great to tell their love story and feature their wedding photos.

I put out the request and Carlos said yes. As I pulled up in front of their beautiful home I was looking forward to seeing him again and meeting his new bride.

Not surprisingly Carlos answered the door himself. As I imagined the energy was completely different this time and he was beaming from ear to ear as he invited me inside. We chatted for a few minutes until Cindy joined us. She looked stunning in a leather jacket and a mini-skirt that showed off her legs that went on forever. I liked Cindy immediately. She exuded a warmth and friendliness that put me at ease.

As we sat on the couch together looking out the huge glass windows to the mountains that formed a spectacular backdrop, they took turns telling the story of how they met.

“Santana had a corporate gig to do in Florida and my regular drummer couldn’t do it because he was booked elsewhere,” Carlos explained. “I had to find a substitute drummer and a voice in my head said, Don’t call the usual people, call Cindy. I said, ‘Cindy?’

Yeah, go to your iPad and look up Cindy Blackman and check her out. She’s the same lady you saw in Germany in 2002 that played drums with Lenny Kravitz.

“That concert was years ago and I’d only stuck around for maybe two songs so I didn’t really know how Cindy played. After downloading several of her CDs I realized she had a high standard of musical excellence so I invited her to come to Las Vegas for two days.”

From the moment Carlos and Cindy met they felt some serious chemistry...

I knew Carlos had been in a dark place the last time I interviewed him, but I didn’t know how dark until he said, “During my four years of separation and divorce when all options were available to me, most guys would have gone to Brazil and gotten drunk and been crazy, but I went the other way. A lot of people invited me to indulge in things they thought would be good for me, but I needed that like a hole in my head. That was like poison for where I was at.

“I was suffering from a deep depression like Sam Cooke, Donny Hathaway and Marvin Gaye had, and I needed to crystalize my existence and go to the next level of consciousness. I needed to trust and surrender to my inner voice that said, Let go of everything that you love. Release it to me now because I have something that is very heavy to give you and you’ll need both hands to hold it.

“I was like, ‘Yeah but,” and the voice said, There is no yeah but. You are ten seconds from taking your own life. Isn’t it enough that I am sitting here next to you? I went from feeling like my heart had been opened and hot coals had been put inside, to crying my eyes out that the Supreme Holy Spirit was talking to me.”

Carlos called (spiritual adviser) Marianne Williamson and told her that he was going through the darkest night of his life and asked if she could recommend someone in the Bay area who could assist him in his transformation, which she did and Carlos started studying A Course in Miracles.

By the time Carlos and Cindy met, they had both done a lot of inner work and were ready for each other.

“What attracted me to Cindy was her clarity and certainty,” Carlos told me. “I felt that I could be at ease living with her and that it wouldn’t be uncomfortable like, ‘Okay, it’s time to call you a cab now.’ When we hugged in the kitchen it felt unconditional... I knew right then that I could share my life with her forever.”

Cindy (51) told me that though she had been in a couple of long-term relationships, she’d never been married. “One of my Kabbalah instructors said, ‘Cindy, you only have to ask one question. Is he spiritual? I asked that question about Carlos, (63) and the answer was absolutely yes.’

Two months into the Universal Tone Tour Carlos proposed on stage right after Cindy’s virtuoso drum solo on the Santana hit “Corazon Espinado.” “People asked if I was afraid she’d say no,” Carlos recounts, “but I felt confident that it was okay to announce to the world that two lights were bending to each other. It was as natural as my next breath. We were swimming in each other’s light.”

The wedding was set for December 19 in Maui where Carlos has a home. In this video clip the joy Carlos feels is evident on his face...

Carlos is different, happier than the man I spoke to before, but he is the same in the way he respects his ex-wife and loves his children. He shared this very touching story. “One of the highlights of the wedding was when I said to Salvador, “Since mom and I have gone our different ways, I want to ask if there is anything you want to get off your chest before Cindy and I get married tomorrow?

“Salvador took a deep breath and said, ‘Actually there is.’

Okay, fasten your seatbelts, I thought. Here it comes. Instead Salvador suggested something that became a special part of the ceremony. He said, ‘Tomorrow I request that you ask the minister to fill a big wooden bowl with rainwater (it had been raining). Then I’d like for you to wash Cindy’s hands and for her to wash yours and absolve each other from all things past and start anew.’ We loved that because we want to experience each thing as if it is for the first time for both of us.”

That reminds me of something Carlos told me during our second interview. He said, “There is perfection in imperfection. People can do 99% of everything perfect, yet they torture themselves about the 1% they screwed up. Bob Marley said people need to emancipate themselves from mental slavery, believing they are wretched. Everything happens for the best when you get out of your own way. People get stuck in their stories. End your story and begin your life. I like to say that God created a circle of love so vast that no one can stand outside of it. God created the world round so everyone can have center stage. I like to validate that everyone is significant and meaningful. No one is a failure or a sinner.”

Rather than trying to be perfect, it’s about finding someone who sees our imperfections and loves us anyway. Carlos said, “Cindy was sent to me to help me clean out my inner closet. She is that person who will help me praise God every day, in every way with grace, honor, and sensuality.”

It was a beautiful wedding. About 200 guests flew in to share the day with the special couple. Carlos’ daughters, Angelica and Stella were two of Cindy’s seven bridesmaids and his son, Salvador, was the best man along with six groomsmen. When Carlos asked Cindy who she wanted to play at the wedding she said, Wayne (Shorter) and Herbie (Hancock), of course.

The couple wrote their own vows. Cindy wrote hers on her iPhone. “I forgot it’s programmed to go off if it’s not being toggled and it kept shutting down. I knew what I wanted to say so I put the phone away and let all the things I felt about Carlos and our union flow from my heart. One of our favorite words is pristine. I love being pristine in all facets of my life and I want to be pristine with my marriage. That was thematic in what I said.”

Cindy remembers that when it came time for Carlos to say his vows somebody handed him his iPad and everyone started cracking up. “This really trumps the iPhone,” she thought.

In defense Carlos said, “I wrote what I wanted to say at 3 a.m. and I thought I’m never going to remember this. I wanted to honor and validate everyone who was there because I appreciated what they went through to be there with and for us.”

“There was genius in everyone in the room,” Carlos said, “but Wayne and Herbie are two people who really represent genius on the planet.”

They couple cut the cake and danced to Ron Isley’s “The Look of Love.”

Then after all the toasts were given, the guests were invited to experience a moment of silence so that Cindy and Carlos could drink in all the love their guests were offering them with their eyes.

“God’s light was so prevalent, the silence got really loud,” Carlos said.

At the end of the wedding, another beautiful gesture took place when the couple each opened a large, white, wicker basket and released several doves symbolizing peace and love.

It was a beautiful ending to a beautiful day and the beginning of a beautiful life together. Both Carlos and Cindy have a great appreciation for what they share because of what they each went through to get where they are. Love lost and love found, and Divinely orchestrated. A blessing that they both cherish.

Carlos said, “We are the culmination of a lot of people’s prayers.”

As I watched the happy couple sitting together on the couch they both looked so radiant, their love so overflowing that it spilled out onto me.

Besides their love for each other, Carlos and Cindy also share a love for mankind and for the planet. Before we finished the interview Carlos turned serious. “Humanity loves to worship and has a total preoccupation with the god of economy, which is the love for power, which is more important than life, people, or the planet.

“We kill, take people's land and everything they have and justify it in the name of a superior god, which is the economy." ~ Carlos Santana 

In the 1967 movie, 2001 A Space Odyssey, there was a scene where two tribes of apes were fighting over a water hole, which was really a mud hole. Instead of joining together to make the water clean for everyone, they killed one another over mud. We are still fighting over mud, which is now global oil…

“The symptoms of being separate from the Supreme Being are guilt, shame, judgment, condemnation, and fear. I know without a doubt that beauty, elegance, excellence, grace and dignity are the only passports towards global healing. Free water, education, food, and electricity for every human on the planet will be the result of living with these spiritual principles. I also want women to be equal in everything – in bed, in the office, in the oval office. That is my ultimate goal.”

I’m in complete agreement with that goal. It’s hard to believe that anyone still has to fight for equality, whether it’s because of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion.

After almost two hours we ended the interview so Cindy and Carlos could go to the airport, but not before Cindy said, “I didn’t expect to find my glorious partner and I was okay with that. I wanted to enjoy the gifts I did have. Fortunately God had this planned.”

I feel fortunate that I was able to connect with Carlos at three junctions in his life and in a way see him come full circle. We first talked near the end of one very important chapter in his life; then we talked at the darkest point in his life when he couldn’t see the light; and again when he was bathed in the glow of a brilliant new love.

Carlos and Cindy demonstrated a little gesture that they do with each other, where they blow a tiny puff of air out through their mouths. They explained that it symbolizes keeping the feather from touching the ground; keeping things light and full of love and happiness, while keeping toxic thoughts like fear, delusion, and entitlement away. I like that.

I hope that after reading this anyone who has known love and lost love, anyone who is hoping to find that special someone, will remember Carlos Santana and let him serve as a reminder that out of the darkest moments, out of the depth of despair, love will find you.

Marsala Rypka 

13 years down the line...

[First posted 15 August 2012]

UNDERSTANDING ASCENSION (revisited yet again)

by Antares

"They are among us now. In the streets of our cities there are already citizens from other worlds. They are here as messengers of the Light to fulfill their mission on the planet Earth." - Willaru Huayta, Chasqui Sun Messenger of the Incas, in the Mayan Solar Year 7 Eb of the Itza Age (1996)

CAUGHT UP in the daily grind, hacking away for pay in some partitioned cubicle in a centrally airconditioned highrise office block... it's so easy to forget that we're all already seasoned travelers in Outer Space.

Zoom out from wherever you are right now and picture yourself as a glowing whirl of vibrant atomic particles, a pinpoint of awareness on a dazzlingly beautiful watery planet, spinning a bit wobblingly around our sun Ra, on the remote fringes of the Magdalenian Galaxy (commonly known as the Milky Way) - which is herself pirouetting majestically round a Supergalactic Central Hub somewhere deep, deep in Boundless Space.

But there's a lot more to "space travel" than meets the eye. Too often we forget that Inner Space is just as vast and mysterious as Outer Space. A would-be Interdimensional Traveler must intuitively understand the subtle process of "inside outing." He or she or it must boldly defy conventional definitions of Body, Mind and Soul!

Where does the physical end and the metaphysical begin? How can we separate one dimension from another? Reality comprises multi-layered webs of interwoven energy and consciousness vibrating at different frequencies, so how can we expect to comprehend the workings of the Whole System simply by analyzing its myriad minute parts? Without our physical brains and the billions of neural interconnections in our nervous system, can we possibly experience Mind? Without this phenomenon called Mind, would we require all the sophisticated hardware that so many of us have fallen into the habit of identifying as "ourselves"?

And what about this mysterious essence we call Soul or Spirit? In an age that doubts and questions the soul's very existence, can we trust our materialistic sciences to uncover transcendental truths? Yet we can complain that the food or music we're being served is "utterly soulless" and be perfectly well understood.

The age of computers has given us access to powerful new metaphors that effectively wed the world of dense matter with the realms of spirit. Today we can think of the physical body and brain as a computer server system: the hardware which can be taken apart, repaired, modified, reconditioned, or junked. The Mind would thus be the vast array of software programs the system can operate - anything from simple calculations to multimedia transactions using superfast chips that function at near lightspeed. Soul would then be the original inspiration (the indwelling Spirit) behind and within and beyond all this - the ultimate arbiter of the cosmic shelf life of both hardware and software.

Take your personal computer. With the power off it's just a hunk of hardware, mere furniture. Turn it on, install a word processing or graphics program. Now... you're ready to produce an exciting piece of electronic art, write a 50,000 word thesis or best-selling novel, produce some funky techno-trance music, or insult a few fellow nerds on the Net. But where do you, as the Operator, feature? It is your intention, your will, your aspirations and desires that the computer serves (though cynics might aver that the only person whose will is genuinely served by computers is Bill Gates).

Extending the Mind-as-Software metaphor a little further, we can understand how our Thought Patterns are determined by our Mindsets - which obey the genetic, social, cultural and religious formatting (or preconditioning) we're all subject to. However, once we're aware of our programming, it's possible to break through to the level of the Metaprogram whereat we may radically alter the operational pathways of our Biocomputers. A good example of this is when a yogi learns to control his metabolism through pranayama (the discipline of fully conscious breathing): he can then keep his body in suspended animation indefinitely, while his Mind-Soul moves freely in any chosen direction or dimension.

This is the approach to space travel - or, more accurately, interdimensional travel - taught in ancient Mystery Schools, whether in Egypt or the Andes or the Himalayas.

Peruvian chasqui (spiritual messenger) Willaru Huayta (pictured above) says: "Many noble people in South America have conquered infinite space, visited other worlds, and have brought knowledge back to benefit humanity. They travel without the necessity of space ships. Some Indians in the Andes travel to distant planets and learn much about the universe, while official science still investigates the superficial level of the material plane. Investigations in three-dimensional reality are always incomplete."

Note that Willaru describes these spaceshipless travelers as "noble people" - NOT "technologically advanced" or "militarily powerful" or "economically privileged."

Does he mean that a prerequisite of interdimensional travel is Moral Quality? Perhaps the capacity to feel openhearted compassion and freedom from finicky ego trips? The implications are, if one seeks to travel Beyond, one needs to travel Light!

Now, in Drunvalo Melchizedek's Flower of Life teachings, the same emphasis is placed on "nobility" - though in this instance, the necessary state of being is described as "Christ consciousness." Drunvalo, like Willaru, states that spaceshipless interdimensional travel (known as Ascension in the Bible, as well as in New Age circles) doesn't negate the existence of UFOs or Flying Hardware. But we are gently reminded that just as Troy fell for the old Wooden Horse ploy, modern humanity is susceptible to being bamboozled by extraplanetary "Greeks" bearing gifts.


Apparently - or, rather, not-so-apparently - a bunch of fetus-like aliens popularly (or unpopularly) known as the Zeta Reticulan Greys made contact with high-level military officers and politicians many decades ago (in the 1930s, some say, but the truth is, such contacts with extraterrestrial Trojan Horses have been occurring on Earth for hundreds of thousands of years). After the expected exchange of pleasantries, the aliens ordered a top-secret closed-door conference with a handful of extremely influential Earthians whereby a Memorandum of Understanding was signed. The Greys offered their services as "technical consultants," giving elite members of the human race access to hitherto undreamed-of scientific secrets that would enable certain humans to conquer space and time. In return they only wanted the right to conduct genetic research on this biologically diverse planet. Of course, this Special Project required absolute confidentiality.

The public must never hear of this. If any word leaked out, it had to be quickly smothered by massive disinformation campaigns. It sounded fair enough at the time. After all, vivisection and animal research are commonly practiced in our own research laboratories. So are secret experiments with viral warfare, genetic cloning, social engineering, ideological imprinting and so on. What the kids don't know won't alarm them.

All very Faustian, don't you agree? Where did Christopher Marlowe and Johann Wolfgang von Goethe get their inspiration for Mephistopheles from? An archetype, you say? But of course. Seems like it's the same everywhere in the universe, archetypical behavior! Anyway, the Greys began to feed the Inner Core members of the Pentagon-sponsored scientific cabal with very interesting information - but they kept the flow gradual.

"You need time to absorb all this high-tech stuff," the Greys intoned. Meanwhile, they went on a rampage with their genetic research. Cattle mutilations, human abductions, crossbreeding experiments.

Crossbreeding? That's right. The Greys knew they were doomed as a species. Their destructive technologies had laid waste to their home planet and made every man jack of them incapable of fertilizing even a toad's egg.

They needed hospitable human ovaries to produce a viable hybrid Grey-Earthian, a veritable Neo-Tech Man, that would quietly and efficiently take control of the planet and turn our future Bleak and Grey.

Only a few weeks ago at the local night market - and later aboard the Tanjong Malim bus - I saw people wearing black and grey T-shirts that gave me quite a start and prompted a sardonic smile. They featured an embossed depiction of fetus-like creatures, with the legend: "Alien Workshop Mind Control Laboratory." Ha! I see they're ready to advertise their presence. However, please don't panic. The Movie isn't over yet and some of us are betting on a Happy Ending.

I realize this is beginning to sound like an allegory of our times.


This is bona fide information which has been effectively kept out of your school curricula for decades, if not eons. Due to certain mitigating circumstances and mysterious factors in the cosmic scheme of events and schedules, the information is now DECLASSIFIED. But it may do little good, considering how resistant human egos have grown to any news that threatens the Status Quo or, worse still, jeopardizes Economic Growth.

However, I am encouraged by my optimistic Higher Dimensional Aspect to discuss it openly with you without fear of rejection or reproof.

Remember, I started out explaining how the boundaries are blurring between the operational parameters of Body, Mind and Soul. How the lines between Hardware and Software need to be redrawn, so that we shall be less willing to sacrifice the Spirit for the Form - and vice versa, since it's never either/or but always both/and.

Messengers like Drunvalo Melchizedek and Willaru Huayta are only here to remind us that we have a divine birthright to reclaim, which entitles us to craft our own 'lightships" from pure intention married to fully conscious imagination - rather than depend on a sneaky, secretive mafia of rocket scientists.

Freedom from hunger, envy, fear, jealousy, poverty, discomfort and suffering does not entail a multibillion-dollar budget. It requires the cultivation of "a noble spirit" in all humanity. "Noble" does not mean "snootily aristocratic." It means something far humbler. The readiness to lay down arms and surrender to the inspiration and guidance of our own "higher nature" - to heal our wounded hearts so that we can FEEL again. To redirect our attention and energies towards the Whole, towards the Total Unity of Life - rather than remain paranoically fragmented behind security alarms and barbed wire and steel-plated doors.

To address our highest integrity towards maximum honesty and openness, and our greatest ingenuity towards restructuring our lifestyles and values so that we shall once more tread gently, lightly, lovingly - creatively rather than destructively - upon our gracious Mother Earth, our living goddess, our once-and-future Garden of Eden. In the course of moving in this general direction, we shall find ourselves ascending as a collectivity - as well as individually. We shall be moving not so much from "here" to "there" but from a coarser to a finer vibration, from the gross to the subtle frequency bands.

Yes, call it a major Change of Octaves that's impending. Happy travels!

[First published in JOURNAL ONE, February 1997. Reposted here 12 September 2008, 1 January 2014, 19 March 2016, 12 June 2017, 9 March 2020, 4 June 2022 & 24 July 2023]