SHUT THE FUCK UP, PAK BLAH!

You lost all credibility with me in November 2006 when you chose to cover Najib's arse instead of doing what any credible leader would have done, that is: tell your deputy to go on temporary leave of absence so that police investigations into the Altantuya Shaariibuu murder could proceed unhindered and undistorted by a morally condemned Attorney-General and a self-aggrandizing IGP. By failing to do so, you have become tarred with the same despicable brush as all the other sleazebags and slimeballs in Umno - and therefore your neck is no longer worth saving, nor are any of your banal utterances worth publishing.

Infamous stained mattress displayed during 1999 Anwar Trial (Photo courtesy of Malaysiakini)

Each time you open your mouth to comment on the braindead sodomy accusation you only sink deeper into the slimy mud of contemptibility. Do the intelligent thing and rescue an iota of your dignity as prime minister by instructing the police to drop the case at once - because it has seriously damaged Malaysia's international reputation - more so than a million tattooed and transgendered sodomites staging an anal sex carnival on live TV could blemish our image as a civilized nation.

Only thing you have going for you is the fact that Mahathir hates your guts. That alone makes you a lot less obnoxious than most of your benighted colleagues in Umno. Your avuncular aura and gentlemanly stance also ensure that people tend to spare you the worst insults. However, your hands are just as dirty and bloodstained as Najib's since you are fully complicit in the Altantuya cover-up - don't kid yourself that anyone believes you're Mr Clean!

I challenge you to prove me wrong. Sack Musa Hassan and Gani Patail for falsifying evidence to ensure Anwar's conviction in 1999. Then order Najib to go on leave while you investigate how many generals he has bought off with lucrative contracts. After that you can stun us all by hauling up Mahathir, Tengku Adnan, V.K. Lingam, Vincent Tan and Ahmaid Fairuz for a thorough grilling - before charging them with manipulating the appointment of judges and influencing the outcome of trials. Do that today and tomorrow I'll say something really nice about you. Promise!

Too Expensive To Blog From A Cybercafe (But How To Stop?)

I've been at this dimly lit cybercafe for the last two hours, catching up on the local news through Malaysiakini and Malaysia Today. Never a dull moment. Anwar released after being subject to major harassment, indignity and extreme discomfort. RPK roped in, only to be released on bail within a couple of hours. Now I can leave the cybercafe with a much lighter heart. For the last 48 hours I have endured genuine anxiety on behalf of Anwar and RPK. I care deeply about the well-being and freedom of these two national heroes who are doing what I myself would gladly do if I had chosen the political path. The bullshit they go through for our sake and that of our posterity may seem mild compared with what others have been subjected to in countries like Cambodia, Burma, Zimbabwe, Palestine, Chile, Afghanistan and Iraq.

Nonetheless, I thank such public figures every single day for their heroic acts, because they keep the idea of freedom, justice and truth alive even through the darkest night of authoritarian misrule. I know we must be thankful that Malaysia is relatively less violent than some countries where political dissidents face arrest, torture and summary execution by hooded death squads. But why can't we compare ourselves with countries like New Zealand, Australia and Norway instead?

Anyway, July 16 will remain embedded in my memory as among the darkest days in recent memory. The totally unwarranted and unjustifiable arrest of Anwar Ibrahim came close to shattering all my hopes of a peaceful transition for Malaysia from the stinky and stupid BN era to a new political dawn with Pakatan Rakyat administering the country. The sheer insanity of a country that sends a UTK (Special Action Unit) team out in terrorist-style balaclavas and a convoy of police vehicles to nab a guy whose only crime is that he has set his sights on the nation's top post! Come on, let's grow up, people.


Only a not-happening no-hoper like Mukhriz Mahathir would stand up in Parliament and foam at the mouth like Shabery Cheek about "unnatural sex acts" - as though there are no worse crimes that occur at any given moment. In the first place, whoever labeled anal and oral sex as "punishable crimes" requires immediate psychological counseling and deep emotional therapy. Rape is a no-no, that's for sure - but that Saiful fella certainly didn't look like somebody who had just been repeatedly raped when he smiled for the press photographers soon after lodging a police report against Anwar. Indeed, he looked like some dimwit kid who can't get over the fact that he has become an overnight sensation across the nation and that thousands were Googling his name and even visiting his girlfriend's inane blog.

The prime cause of BN's inevitable downfall may well prove to be a 28-year-old Mongolian beauty who found herself in extremely bad company and got blown up trying to collect her rightful share of ill-gotten gains. No matter how many formal denials issue from the pink lips of Najib Razak or his reprehensible spouse Rosmah Mansor, ugly rumors will persist until the murder case is finally resolved to the public's satisfaction. And the only way that can happen is for the DPM to take temporary leave and allow himself and his wife to be summoned to court as key witnesses.

UMNO'S NEW IMAGE?

Where's Frodo when we need him to deliver the Ring of Power to Mount Doom... and destroy it forever?