Saturday, September 27, 2008

ISA detainees in solidarity fast

(Courtesy of Zorro-Unmasked)

MEDIA STATEMENT

Re: Hindraf Detainee fasts in Solidarity with Jemaah Islamiah and Darul Islamiah Detainees for abolishment of ISA During Month of Ramadan.

This is the fourth week in the Islamic holy month of Ramadan that Hindraf legal adviser P. Uthayakumar (left) - currently in detention without trial and held at Kamunting - is fasting in solidarity with fellow Jemaah Islamiah (JI) and Darul Islamiah (DI) detainees for the abolishment of the obnoxious Internal Security Act (ISA).

P. Uthayakumar hopes Prime Minister Badawi will unconditionally release all ISA detainees - especially the Jemaah Islamiah suspects, some of whom have been detained for seven years now, so that they can celebrate Hari Raya Aidilfitri with their families.

READ THE FULL STATEMENT HERE.

THESE ARE PUNNY TIMES WE LIVE IN...

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his enormous girth from too much pi.

2. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

3. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.


8. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. A backward poet writes inverse.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

23. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.




[Contributed by Vernon Cornelius]

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My apologies to the canine kingdom

Those of you who have been reading recent posts on this blog will know I've been poking fun at Malaysian home minister Syed Hamid Albar by comparing him to a bullmastiff. And when MP Teresa Kok complained about being served "dog food" during her week in ISA detention, I extended the canine metaphor to the entire police force - who appear to be so limited in intelligence they can't distinguish between a political party and the government of the day.

And so they end up carrying out the criminal orders of their corrupt political masters in Umno, even when these orders are detrimental to the interests of the nation and utterly ruinous to the professional reputation of the police force itself.

Case in point: two members of the Unit Tindakan Khas (Special Action Unit) have been on trial for over a year, accused of murdering the 28-year-old Mongolian paramour of both Abdul Razak Baginda and Najib Abdul Razak. Despite the latter's vehement denials that he ever met "the Mongolian woman" (he has never dared to utter her name in public, not even when swearing in a mosque during the Permatang Pauh by-election campaign), the facts indicate otherwise.

After all, Altantuya Shaariibuu was in Paris with Razak Baginda during negotiations on the French submarine deal which earned his company, Perimekar Sdn Bhd, a staggering RM534.8 million commission. It has been established beyond doubt that Najib Razak, in his capacity as defence minister, was also present in France at the time and was personally involved in the 1.4 billion euro deal. To deny that he knew Altantuya stretches the boundaries of credibility.

Especially when Najib has been caught out on more than one occasion telling a bare-faced lie: for instance, when he initially denied knowing Anwar's accuser, Saiful Bukhari Azlan, and subsequently admitted to having invited Saiful to his residence several days before the police report alleging sodomy was lodged.

Now there is absolutely no way any member of the police force will undertake to murder a foreign national in cold blood - unless acting on specific instructions from their superiors. In this instance, the commanding officer could only be DSP Musa Safri, ADC in charge of security to DPM Najib Razak. In his affidavit (which has yet to be admitted in court as evidence), Razak Baginda states that Musa Safri was assigned to assist him in resolving the Altantuya "nuisance." Musa then introduced Razak Baginda to Inspector Azilah Hadri and Korporal Sirul Azhar Umar, which led to the UTK officers staking out the hotel where Altantuya Shaariibuu was staying with her cousin and friend. Altantuya was last seen alive entering a car driven by Insp. Azilah Hadri on the evening of 19 October 2006.

The fact that DSP Musa Safri, Rosmah Mansor and Najib Razak have managed to avoid being subpoenaed as key witnesses in the Altantuya murder trial incriminates the entire Umno/BN government as accessories to a cover-up of gargantuan proportions.

This is where our rebel prince Raja Petra Kamarudin comes in, both guns blazing, to blow away their cover. He puts his own neck on the chopping block by signing a statutory declaration on 18 June 2008 and publishing it on Malaysia Today for the whole world to read. Raja Petra minces no words in his SD: Rosmah Mansor, wife of deputy prime minister Najib Razak, was present at the crime scene along with others named as Lt. Col. Aziz Buyong and his wife Lt. Col. Norhayati Hasan. Both parties named are attached to Mindef's Engineering Corps and Aziz Buyong is an explosives expert, while Norhayati Hasan is reportedly a personal aide to the defence minister's wife.

What are the police doing about this explosive information? Right now they are busy grilling 25-year-old rapper Wee Meng Chee aka Namewee, producer of Negarakuku, the satirical video more than a million Malaysians have seen on YouTube. Earlier today, they were busy transferring Raja Petra to Kamunting to begin a two-year detention under Section 8(1) of the Internal Security Act.

I APOLOGIZE TO THE CANINE KINGDOM FOR HAVING ASSOCIATED DOGS WITH THE HOME MINISTER AND HIS POLICE FORCE.

Dogs are loyal and serve as watchdogs, we all know. But some dogs are capable of great courage, nobility and intelligence. They are also very lovable and make excellent companions. Such qualities, alas, appear to be completely absent from Syed Hamid Albar and the PDRM. Indeed, judging from their recent behavior, it may be more appropriate to compare them with carrion-eating, cowardly hyenas.


[Dissected hyena images from Ask Doctor Vector]



Monday, September 22, 2008

OINK OINK: A Hog Caller Named Bacon

Hog calling happens to be a popular sport in the US farming states of Idaho, Illinois, and Iowa. Until recently hog calling competitions were strictly for the guys - but this summer two women became champs in Idaho and Illinois. One of them just happens to be named Bacon...

Meet Jolee Bacon, Champion Hog Caller from Idaho.

Doris Probst wins at the Illinois State Fair - and she's actually a dairy farmer.

I DOUBT HOG CALLING WILL CATCH ON IN MALAYSIA.

THE 916 DOUBLE BLUFF (from The Dandelions)

[Found this street-savvy analysis of the political impasse posted on The Dandelions - a collective blog operated by some truly smart and funky young Malaysians with their fingers on the pulse of change.]

THE 916 DOUBLE BLUFF

Posted by jingoisticbuthornydesperado on September 18, 2008


Ok, ok, I opine that September 16 was not meant for Malaysians to take the bait, but for UMNO. September 16 was a double bluff specifically designed for UMNO to take the bait. Why the heck would Anwar want to expose his battle plan for UMNO, so that UMNO has time to defend itself? Why the hell does one play chess and then tell his opponent what his next move is going to be?

(TV Smith)

September 16 was an empty threat. UMNO took the bait (or is it Najib and his cohort, Hamid Albar, as my fellow dandelions first concurred?). UMNO began to put RPK, Teresa and Tan under ISA in the hopes of maybe instigating an all-out protest and reason to declare martial law. It would then be bye-bye, opposition. But that didn’t materialise. Instead, the past few days have successfully swung the political wind to PR’s favour.

People were appalled by the actions of UMNO. The legitimacy of cross-overs becomes less of a question even amongst PR supporters who frowned on cross-overs. I don’t like cross-overs but after the events of the past few days, hell yeah, I am for cross-overs. Anwar doesn’t have to be malicious to get his goals. Anwar forced UMNO into showing its innermost demons (we have already seen the outer demons). Many people say, inner true colours are only shown when one is tremendously stressed, an act of great goodness or great controversy……


September 16 or the recent events surrounding September 16 served to unify PR supporters, split between those for cross-overs and those against to a unanimous pro- cross-over movement. If DSAI succeeds, heck it will be a legitimate, democratically popular cross-over, the first in Malaysian history.

Heck, the September 16 event only further destroys what’s left of UMNO’s unity. As my fellow dandelions have concurred way before me, if Najib and Hamid are behind the ISA and not Abdullah, well it is a sign that Najib the backstabber is beginning to be less subtle and more desperate. Abdullah can’t tell the press that he didn’t use ISA but his minions did, as this will have disastrous consequences to the little leadership credibility that AAB has managed to retain. Najib is not going to be left unpunished.

AAB “rewarded” Najib with the post of Finance Minister 4 or 5 months before the UMNO elections (again, my fellow dandelions have concurred before me). With the recent chain of events striking US financial giants, first and foremost, Bear Stearns, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, Lehman Brothers, Merill Lynch and AIG, we have not heard the last of the economic kerfuffle. Malaysia is not going to escape unscathed, and there is little Najib can do to conjure a financial miracle that will help save the US financial system and, in return, help Malaysia. The economy is going to be worse off, and Najib will bear the brunt.

September 16 was an ‘empty’ threat. UMNO made September 16 into an enemy UMNO itself feared most. If UMNO had not done anything, UMNO would not be trapped by the conundrum it is in today.

RPK took a gamble to be a willing pawn to the event leading to September 16. RPK has given UMNO a lot of ‘reasons‘ to apprehend RPK under ISA. RPK is now seen as a martyr for Malaysians who want justice, a swing in PR’s favour. Whether his martyrdom is to be converted to success in toppling UMNO remains to be seen.

I don’t know who has a better chess-playing strategy, but the set-pieces are already moving. Whatever result it may be, it will be preposterous to say that one got lucky winning. Politics is too high-stakes a game to be left to lady luck. Has anyone ever won a chess game by pure luck?

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Is Syed Hamid Al-BARK and No-BITE?


Not too long ago I left a comment on somebody's blog comparing our clownish home minister, Syed Hamid Albar, to a bullmastiff. Turns out there may be more than a little truth in that remark made in jest. The home minister, after all, is ultimately responsible for the behavior of our police force and the way our "correctional facilities" are managed. There is absolutely no way Hamid Albar can escape being fully accountable for the thuggish tendencies of our infamous PDRM - and the bad rep the police have gained from long-standing reports of inhuman treatment of detainees. To date, these horror stories of ill-concealed sadism and various forms of psychopathological misbehavior encountered by anyone unfortunate enough to be arrested by the Malaysian police have mostly been limited to those of dark complexion, "low social standing," and those unfortunates detained without trial under the diabolical ISA.

If Teresa Kok's complaint is proven to be true - and I see no cause for her to lie about something like that, knowing her excellent track record for candor and frankness - it is evident that the level of psychosis within the home ministry has now reached alarming proportions. YB Teresa Kok is a respected and greatly admired Member of Parliament - not a snatch thief, kidnapper, rapist or bank robber. This is not to imply that it's all right to mistreat prisoners of lesser social status. Every human being deserves to be valued and treated with civility and compassion - even those suspected of serious crimes and venomous villains like that Javanese Toyol who keeps escaping from his botol and raising hell.

I shudder to think what hideous discomforts and distresses poor RPK may be enduring even as I type these words. His predilection for raw language notwithstanding, Raja Petra Kamarudin is a Yang Mulia, a member of the Selangor Royalty, albeit reputed to be a bit of a maverick. RPK has made extremely serious allegations against certain Umno warlords. Instead of investigating the truth of RPK's courageous accusations, the police have further justified public resentment against the Umno/BN government with their senseless flurry of political arrests.

Ten years ago, what police chief Rahim Noor did to sacked and arrested deputy prime minister Anwar Ibrahim while he was blindfolded and handcuffed was an act of unpardonable cowardice, compounded by the ugliest species of malice. Rahim Noor initially lied about the whole thing but when a Royal Commission of Inquiry into the shameful affair caught him out, the IGP said he lost his temper because Anwar called him Bapak Anjing (The Dogfather). Other witnesses present during the vicious attack testified that all they heard Anwar say was "Stop hitting me!" Rahim Noor's "Freudian slip" reveals that deep down these rabid cops are ashamed of their own canine lineage, which is why they fear and hate dogs so intensely. Think about it: what other species is so unquestioningly loyal to their masters?

As home minister as well as prime minister at the time, Mahathir Mohamad has yet to be held accountable for suggesting Anwar inflicted the black eye on himself just to gain public sympathy. It is reasonably certain that an attempt was made to kill Anwar slowly by arsenic poisoning while he was in prison. The Umno/BN government is not only corrupt and inept - it is also deplorably cruel and, occasionally, even murderous. We are morally bound to demand that the ISA be abolished and all political detainees be unconditionally released from custody with immediate effect. By extension we are also morally bound to INSIST that Umno/BN surrenders the reins of government to whoever commands the majority of seats in Parliament - without resorting to barbaric acts of sabotage, just to cling on to power misappropriated from the public.

And if the home minister refuses to heed the surging groundswell of public opinion - local as well as international - and persists in his rabid efforts to keep biting bloggers, government critics, protest organizers and opposition politicians - then we really are left with no option but to go beyond simple castration. We shall have to have him put down with a lethal injection.

Of course, we would greatly prefer that he hands in his resignation without further ado or fuss - and we can hardly expect a public apology from someone of his ilk with such poor pedigree.

This preposterous report in today's Star about the police serving dog food to an honorable Member of Parliament brings to mind a classic story I've retrieved from my blog archives...
THE PURINA DIET
by Hamid Albark

I was at the supermarket buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no..... I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

HAPPY EQUINOX, FOLKS!

It's the start of a new season today...


Do something kinky...




Stop and smell the flowers...



Get someone's goat...



Explore new avenues...



Get rid of the bloody garment!