Saturday, November 1, 2014

Dean Johns on Sodomy, Godomy and Bodohmy in Malaysia

Cloned from Malaysiakini for the benefit of those too poor or too cheap to subscribe, this is another hard-hitting, lethally spot-on & punishingly funny broadside from political columnist Dean Johns, published 31 October 2014...

Sodomy, godomy and bodohmy

Oh me, oh my. As you can plainly see from the title of this, my 384th piece on the perfidy of the BN regime, I’m finding it increasingly tough to find or even fabricate appropriate words to decry and deride the activities of this cabal of despicable crooks.

Because just as they seem to have gone as low as it’s possible to go, they sink to depths that are even more difficult than ever to credit or describe. Stopping at absolutely nothing in their project to pervert every possible aspect of Malaysian life, from truth and justice to religion, reason and human intelligence itself, for the sole purpose of perpetuating their monopoly on power and plunder.

As is most painfully evident right this minute in the latest episode of their persecution of Anwar Ibrahim on endless, plainly trumped-up charges of sodomy. Never mind that you’d have to be totally sodumbnised to believe that the whole thing is not yet another criminal conspiracy by this incurably crooked regime.

All the tainted serological evidence and perjured testimony aside, the fact alleged ‘victim’ Saiful Bukhari Azlan not only allegedly had a suspicious tryst with the inspector-general of police in a hotel, but also then-deputy prime minister Najib Abdul Razak at his residence, just days before he reported the so-called ‘crime’, is clear evidence of conspiratorial collusion.

Especially in light of Najib’s initial denial that he had met Saiful, and later his lame admission that indeed he had met him, but that the meeting had been for the purpose of discussing the possibility of a “scholarship”.

“Scholarship” in this case being a euphemism for bribe, no doubt, as years later it seems that Saiful is living comfortably if not outright luxuriously despite having long had no apparent employment or other legitimate means of support.

And while we’re on the subject of fake scholarships, it appears that the regime has showered similar if somewhat less largesse on a group of craven creatures prepared to wear T-shirts and wave signs, all suspiciously professionally printed, no doubt at public expense, proclaiming their desire for justice, not for Anwar, but for Saiful.

Meanwhile, BN’s ever-compliant ‘religious’ authorities keep colluding in the regime’s sodomisation of the Malaysian people by every possible means from murder and massive theft and bodohmisation of the populace by lying ‘news’ media and a dismally dumbed-down ‘education’ system with a programme of godomisation that gets more ridiculously outrageous by the day.

With the self-styled holier-than-thou posing as ‘protectors’ and ‘defenders’ of Islam at every possible opportunity, as in perennial attempts to refuse Christians the right to use the generic Arab term for God, ‘Allah’, and threatening to burn Bibles that offend the ‘sensitivities’ of the ‘faithful’.

And these godomists also go so far as to try and ban the celebration of such allegedly ‘un-Islamic’ celebrations as Oktoberfest, St Valentine’s Day and, as most topical today as I write this column, Halloween.

Every day memorialises a deity

Little aware, apparently, that, in the English language at least, every day memorialises a pre-Islamic, pre-Christian, indeed outright pagan deity: Sunday the ancient sun god; Monday the goddess of the moon; Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday the old Scandinavian gods Tiw, Odin, Thor and goddess of love, Fria; and Saturday recalls Saturn, the Roman god of agriculture.

In other words, in English and doubtless many other ‘Western’ tongues, every day of the week is arguably as potentially sodomising of the alleged sensibilities and sensitivities of BN’s tame godomists as the regime’s ‘unsolved’ murders, massive thefts and sundry other sodomies on Malaysian society are to the majority of us.

Yet BN spokespersons still have the unmitigated gall to claim that they are on the side of justice, fair play and social harmony, as in Sports and Youth Minister Khairy Jamaluddin’s (left) recent attempt to rebut Anwar Ibrahim’s claim that his sodomy appeal is a “litmus test for the government" by claiming that it is “Anwar and not Putrajaya that is on trial”.

“The government did not force Anwar to do what he is accused of on Saiful,” Khairy declared, thus begging the burning question as to whether the government made the whole thing up, “so why make it a trial about the government’s credibility?”

As one of the world’s least evidently successful and thus also least credible ministers of sports, surely it’s time for Khairy to realise that the majority of us are not so godomised or bodohmised as to believe a word that he or anyone else in the rotten BN regime says about anything.

And that we’re also very well aware that if the government is not on trial, it surely should and someday will be. For a catalogue of crimes so enormous that it would take a column far longer than this to list them all.

From the sodomy of Malaysian society by Abdul Razak Hussein, second prime minister and father of the current incumbent, by his alleged fomenting of the May 13 1969 riots, through the shafting of the judiciary in the 1980s by Dr Mahathir Mohamad through all the countless extra-judicial killings and obscene financial killings by regime members and their cronies in all the years since, the list of indictable offences is endless.

Continuing unabated

Literally so, as they’re still continuing unabated through massive un-repaid ‘loans’ as in the notorious National Feedlot Corporation (NFC) fiasco, embezzlements as in the RM12-billion Port Klang Free Zone scandal, the vastly-overpriced new ‘low-cost’ KLIA2 airport and terminal, and currently both KL’s plunder-riddled MRT project and the so-called ‘sovereign wealth fund’ 1Malaysia Development Bhd (1MDB), and “losses” like that of MAS flight MH370.

Not to mention outright thefts like that of much of the timber from Sarawak by regime crony Abdul (‘The Termite’) Taib Mahmud, whose lawyers are currently threatening legal action against the publishers and distributors of the book Money Logging: On the Trail of the Asian Timber Mafia.

And as if to add insult to Taib’s sodomy of his state’s natural resources and the laws of the land, his shysters are predicting “substantial” damages due not only to the “extreme seriousness of the allegations,” but also “given the wealth of our client”.

This supremely arrogant attitude is not particular to Taib Mahmud, but characteristic of Malaysia’s entire ruling regime. And so, whatever the verdict this gang of crooks engineers for Anwar this time around, it will keep getting away with its sodomies on the country until enough honest citizens finally decide to stop taking it lying down, and revolt against BN-style godomy and bodohmy for once and for all.

DEAN JOHNS, after many years in Asia, currently lives with his Malaysian-born wife and daughter in Sydney, where he coaches and mentors writers and authors and practises as a writing therapist. Published books of his columns for Malaysiakini include Mad about Malaysia, Even Madder about Malaysia, Missing Malaysia, 1Malaysia.con and Malaysia Mania.

Friday, October 31, 2014

The 2-Cows School of Economic Theory from a Global Perspective

Economic models have long been explained with cows. Thanks to the internet, experts from all over the world (who wish to remain anonymous) have contributed their particular insights to this ongoing study...

SOCIALISM; You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM; You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM; You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM; You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. Your neighbor has none. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay for the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

FRENCH CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want 3 cows.

GERMAN CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

JAPANESE CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are 1/10 the size of an ordinary cow, and produce the milk of 20 cows. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market it worldwide.

ITALIAN CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

SWISS CAPITALISM; You have 5,000 cows. None of them belongs to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

CHINESE CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

RUSSIAN CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows. You count them and learn that you have 5 cows. You count them again and learn that you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn that you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of Vodka.

INDIAN CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows. You worship them.

BRITISH CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows. Both are mad.

MALAYSIAN CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You ask for a 250 million ringgit loan from the government so you can breed them on a large scale. With the loan as collateral you purchase several condominiums for your cows so they will vote for you every election.

IRAQI CAPITALISM; Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

NEW ZEALAND CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

ISRAELI CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows and you lead them to graze on your neighbor's land. Then you claim that land as yours and build cowsheds everywhere.

PAKISTANI CAPITALISM: You have no cows. You buy some from China by selling the milk the Americans gave you. Now that you have cows, you can tie bombs on them and send them to India.

NIGERIAN CAPITALISM: You have no cows but you send emails to everyone indicating that they have won 2 million cows in an electronic lottery. If they believe you, you ask them to pay $20,000 upfront for transport and quarantine costs.

GREEK CAPITALISM; You have 2 cows borrowed from French and German banks. You eat both of them. The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF. The IMF loans you 2 cows. You eat both of them. The banks and the IMF call to collect their milk. You are out getting a haircut.

[NOTE: This collection was culled from various sources, with minor editorial adjustments & illustrations added by me.]

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Saiful to answer charges of "qazaf" (reprise)

At 11AM today (27 November 2008) Saiful Bukhari Azlan, who lodged a police report 28 June 2008 that he had been anally raped by Anwar Ibrahim, presented himself at the Federal Territory Islamic Religious Department (JAWI) for further questioning with regard to Anwar's formal complaint on 9 July 2008 that Saiful Bukhari had committed qazaf (wrongfully accusing a chaste man or woman of adultery or homosexuality without four reliable witnesses).

The punishment for those who accuse others of committing adultery and sodomy without substantiation is, according to various Islamic scholars, similar to those who commit such offences.


1. Saiful Bukhari Azlan is reportedly Mumtaz Jaafar's "Godson."

2. Mumtaz Jaafar is reportedly Rosmah Mansor's business associate and "bag lady."

Mumtaz Jaafar (MJ) & Rosmah Mansor (RM) with a Wanita Umno group (from The Dandelions)

3. Najib Razak finally admitted (under pressure) that Saiful Bukhari had visited him and his wife at their residence "a few days" before Saiful lodged his infamous police report against Anwar Ibrahim. Najib had earlier stated that Saiful only visited his office and discussed getting a "scholarship" with Khairil Anas Yusof, "special aide" to DPM Najib. Initially, Najib insisted he had "never met" Saiful personally. Then MT published part of a video interview with a friend of Saiful Bukhari who attested he had accompanied Saiful on his visit to Najib & Rosmah's residence...

Saiful posing with Khairil Anas Yusof (special aide to Najib) at the Deputy Prime Minister's office in February 2008.

4. Malaysia Today also published a story stating that Saiful Bukhari had met Senior Assistant Commissioner (II) Mohd Rodwan Mohd Yusof in Room 619 of the Concorde Hotel at 2:30 PM on 25 June 2008 (3 days before the police report was lodged). The MT report also alleged that Saiful had been in phone contact with Rodwan Mohd Yusof and other police officers for several days prior to that rendezvous at the Concorde. Rodwan Mohd Yusof happens to be IGP Musa Hassan's "dirty tricks" agent and was involved in Anwar's 1998 sodomy trial (he demanded Anwar's DNA sample from the Hospital Besar KL which was later used on the infamous Tivoli mattress). To date there has been no official denial or investigation of these allegations. Rodwan Mohd Yusof had "no comment" when questioned by reporters.

5. Saiful Bukhari Azlan's biological father, Azlan Mohd Lazim, had abandoned Saiful's mother when Saiful was still a toddler. Recently, Azlan Mohd Lazim (seated beside Saiful, above) reappeared in Saiful's life when he accompanied his estranged son to the swearing ritual at the Federal Territory Mosque officiated by a newly appointed imam, Ramlang Porigi, on 15 July 2008 (one day before Nomination Day for the Permatang Pauh by-election). Azlan Mohd Lazim was also present at a press conference afterwards. It was subsequently revealed by MT that Azlan Mohd Lazim earns his living mainly as an Umno go-between, fixing deals and negotiating clandestine transactions, and was instrumental in coordinating the secret PAS-Umno meetings soon after 8 March 2008. Azlan Mohd Lazim is on a special committee of Umno entrepreneurs, headed by Romeli Musa (of Sapura Holdings) determined to stop Anwar Ibrahim from becoming PM and Pakatan Rakyat from taking over the federal government.

Click here for behind-the-scenes report on how PKR pulled off this remarkable coup.

6. During the Permatang Pauh by-election campaign, looped video footage of Saiful Bukhari swearing on the Koran that Anwar Ibrahim had forcibly sodomized him was repeatedly and almost continuously projected on giant outdoor screens at all BN operations centers. However, Ramlang Porigi, the imam who had officiated at Saiful's swearing ritual, showed up at PKR ceramahs & publicly stated that he was unwittingly and unwillingly dragged into the whole affair - in fact, Ramlang revealed that Khairil Anas Yusof ("special aide" to the DPM) had arranged the swearing ritual and that Ramlang himself had no say in the matter. He was bombarded with angry messages from friends and strangers afterwards and realized he had to come out in the open & officially disassociate himself from Saiful's swearing ritual.

7. Saiful Bukhari showed up at Hospital Pusrawi after lunch on 28 June 2008 complaining of acute pain in his own arse ("someone shoved some plastic object up my rectum..."). He was rectally examined by Dr Mohamed Osman Abdul Hamid who found no signs that Saiful Bukhari had been forcibly sodomized and said as much in his medical report. Subsequently, the Hospital Pusrawi report was leaked to the media (it first appeared in Malaysia Today, of course), and that made the entire case go limp. On 7 August 2008 Anwar Ibrahim was charged with "consensual" sodomy under Section 377B of the Penal Code, contradicting Saiful Bukhari's insistence under Koranic oath that he had not consented and was, in fact, raped by Anwar (believe it or not, Ripley!)

From, 4 Sept 2008

8. Dr Mohamed Osman Abdul Hamid subsequently read a statement at a press conference endorsing the authenticity of the leaked Hospital Pusrawi medical report and maintaining that he stood by the results of his rectal examination. Dr Osman also revealed that he had been repeatedly visited by police officers who made him sign statements in Malay which he did not fully understand (being a Burmese national) & which contained extraneous details added by the police.

As far as I'm concerned this case is closed, QED.

For Saiful Bukhari's protection (from possible attack by morally inflamed Anwaristas and ardent connoisseurs of plump young rumps) I recommend that the good Burmese doctor be assigned to bung up Saiful's pert little ass. However, if Dr Osman has already left the country - and who can blame him, after all the stress he's been subject to? - then we'll just have to hand Saiful over to that Honorable MP from Kenabatangan, Bung Mokhtar Radin (who's reputed to be quite an expert on bunging up leaky holes).

Kenny Gan (Letters to Malaysiakini): When Anwar’s trial begins, Saiful should be asked one question: ‘Does he agree to the charge under Section 377B of consensual sodomy?’ If he still insists as per his public stance that the act was non-consensual, the charge should be amended to Section 377C covering non-consensual sodomy or be thrown out.

This is more than a technical definition. Section 377C involves an element of force which must be proven and hence it is much more difficult to obtain a conviction given the facts of the case. There are no two ways about it. The prosecution cannot give themselves an easier job to convict Anwar for consensual sodomy while the witness denies it. For Anwar’s case to proceed under the present charge, Saiful must be willing to repudiate his public stance of forced sodomy and take the adverse repercussions given his swearing on the Quran. Otherwise, it must be amended to Section 377C. Anything else is a gross miscarriage of justice.


[First posted 27 November 2008]

Amnesty International & Anwar Ibrahim (repost)

This was originally published 22 November 2009... worth a revisit!

Anwar Ibrahim listens attentively as his former speechwriter, Dr Munawar Anees gives a chilling account of the humiliation and torture he suffered at the hands of Mahathir's secret police in 1998.

AI condemns intimidation of lawyers in Malaysia
Free Malaysia Today | Sunday, November 22, 2009

PETALING JAYA: Amnesty International is concerned over attempts to intimidate lawyers carrying out their professional duties in Malaysia.

Margaret John, the AI coordinator for Singapore and Malaysia, said the latest attack on the home of prominent lawyer Manjeet Singh Dhillon (left) illustrated once more the risks faced by Malaysian lawyers protecting the legal rights of government critics.

Last Tuesday evening, several Molotov cocktails were thrown into the house of Manjeet but unfortunately no one was injured.

Manjeet believed the attack was linked to private investigator P. Balasubramaniam’s recent exposure in the Altantuya affair cover-up where VVIPs were implicated.

Bala’s interview was done last month in the presence of three lawyers, one of whom was Manjeet.

“The incident illustrates once more that lawyers in Malaysia, acting in their professional capacity to protect the legal rights of government critics, are exposed to risks of harassment, threats and worst,” Margaret John said in a statement.

Following is the full statement by Margaret John:

I have learned that several Molotov cocktails were recently thrown into the home of prominent Malaysian lawyer Manjeet Singh Dhillon, a former Bar Council President. He said he regarded the attack on his home as a possible warning and threat to him and his family.

He and his family were fortunately out of the country at the time. The incident illustrates once more that lawyers in Malaysia, acting in their professional capacity to protect the legal rights of government critics, are exposed to risks of harassment, threats or worse.

Many of you will be aware that Manjeet Singh Dhillon is counsel for (now former) prisoner of conscience Dr Munawar Anees (right) and will know that Dr Anees made a Statutory Declaration during his incarceration a decade ago, in which he detailed the appalling treatment to which he had been subjected in prison. Manjeet has remained his counsel during the numerous court challenges to clear Dr Anees's name.

The Molotov cocktail attack is believed to be related to Manjeet Singh Dhillon's recent interview with private investigator P. Balasubramaniam, who had alleged a year ago that Prime MInister Najib Abdul Razak had been sexually involved with murder victim Altantuya Shaariibuu of Mongolia and that police were ordered to remove evidence of any links. Balasubramiam later retracted the allegations and fled. Manjeet Singh Dhillon asserted that he conducted the interview (now on Youtube) as a professional duty in the absence of Balasubramaniam's actual counsel, Americk Sidhu.


Amnesty International has previously expressed concern about attempts to intimidate lawyers carrying out their professional duties. In the most controversial case in Malaysia's recent history, defence lawyers were harassed and their offices searched during the trial for sodomy a decade ago of former Deputy Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim.

At that time, prominent defence lawyer Karpal Singh (above) was arrested under the Sedition Act in connection with remarks he made in court. Referring to high levels of arsenic in Anwar's blood, Karpal Singh expressed in court his concern that "someone out there wants to get rid of him... even to the extent of murder. I suspect that people in high places are responsible for the situation." Karpal Singh is himself a former prisoner of conscience.

Fadiah Nadwa Fikri, one of five lawyers arrested by the police for attempting to provide legal aid to candlelight protestors detained at the Brickfields police station on 8 May 2009
One of the more recent cases involves five lawyers who were arrested for illegal assembly when they gathered outside a police station where a group of candlelight demonstrators was held. The five lawyers wished to provide legal assistance to detainees.

A number of international standards guarantees protection for lawyers carrying out their professional duties. These include: UN Basic Principles on the Role of Lawyers and the Latimer House guidelines. Such standards, however, do not always provide protection in Malaysia in cases in which there is a link to criticism of the government.

Margaret John
Coordinator for Singapore and Malaysia
Amnesty International Canada

[First posted 22 November 2009]

Monday, October 27, 2014

May 13, September 11... and Altantuya! (reprise)

I finally got hold of Dr Kua Kia Soong's latest book, May 13: Declassified Documents on the Malaysian Riots of 1969. More to the point, I read it all the way through with interest, and it was an exercise that set off quite an elongated train of thought. When the violence erupted 38 years ago I was living in the quiet southern town of Batu Pahat where nothing untoward happened, although I remember people were tense and uneasy, and the streets were unusually deserted. My severely pregnant wife was almost due then and I would take her for a spin around town every evening - and not once did I sense we were in any danger whatsoever. Our first daughter, Moonlake, was delivered at home on May 28, in the same house where I had been born and - believe it or not - by the same midwife who had delivered me 19 years earlier!

In other words, I had a lot else on my mind at the time. Local politics and vague reports of mayhem in the faraway capital and a few other towns didn't seem as significant as becoming a father for the first time. The news reports were muted, to say the least, and rumors flew around - but I don't recall paying any attention to them. The general feeling, however, was that some folks are bad losers. Politics seemed to me just like a poker game played by a bunch of testosteronal types and, just like it always happens in the Hollywood westerns, some unshaven cowhand will start a gunfight when down on his luck at the saloon.

I didn't believe for a moment in May 1969 that the "race riots" had flared up spontaneously - and declassified documents unearthed by Dr Kua from the Public Records Office in London among other sources clearly testify to that. Well, thanks, Kua! What you've done carries profound significance. It's on more or less the same scale of importance as having some reputable scholar dig up long-buried evidence that, after 44 years, finally resolves the JFK murder mystery and names everyone involved in the plot. Bye-bye, Lone Shooter Lee Harvey Oswald theory. Boo, Warren Commission! What sort of punishment would befit folks who would go to such lengths to snuff three members of the Kennedy clan? Remember what happened to John F. Kennedy, Jr - just as he was on the verge of announcing his presidential candidacy?

By the same token, I'm closely monitoring the unstoppable build up of grassroots support for the 9/11 Truth Movement. Ironically, the people who really ought to know better have mostly turned out to be aggressive deniers of what's plain as day to anyone with unclouded eyes and unclogged nostrils - why do they find it so goddam hard to acknowledge that all governments are perfectly capable of doing unthinkable things just to stay in power? Of course, the blame always has to be pinned on some useful bogeyman like the Communists or the Terrorists. Haven't they read Machiavelli? Actually, I've never even SEEN that oft-quoted handbook on how to win elections and influence history - but we all know what "Machiavellian" means, right? Machiavellian... Orwellian... Cartesian... Antaresian.... nah, doesn't quite do the trick, that last one!

Just consider this: why would the Roman Church, say, be so rattled by the popularity of a Dan Brown potboiler that it would get into damage control mode and begin to debunk instead of debate the distinct possibility that Yeshua (better known as Jesus the Christ) and Myriam of Mygdala (better known as Mary Magdalene) were a royal couple descended from a very ancient and revered bloodline? The answer is obvious: it would shatter the very foundations of a 2,000-year-old belief system and totally undermine the moral authority of the Pope - and, by extension, the entire Vatican. And when the faithful realize that the Church they have supported all these generations has actually been actively engaged in destroying, or at least suppressing, inconvenient truths - and that it is, in fact, the dreaded "Anti-Christ" incarnate... well, there goes another House of Cards, so what?

For a start, history would have to reconsider herstory. Because the central tenet of Patriarchy is that the female is subjugate to the male. Women would finally have a say in matters economic and geopolitical - and that would spell the end of a cruel and ruinous era of constant warfare ruled by "naughty boys with dangerous toys." In short, humanity would enjoy the very real option of envisioning Heaven on Earth - instead of in the Afterlife!

May 13 and 9/11 have one common feature: they were cunningly and ruthlessly crafted public traumas designed to concuss, confuse, and confound the masses - and, while the voters were in temporary shock, they would be robbed of any control over their own future. That's right, folks: the name of the REAL game is "Hand over all your power!"

Dr Kua's straight-talking book confirms for many of us that May 13 was, in actuality, a coup d'├ętat wherein a core group of ambitious Malay bureaucrats and politicos had conspired to seize control of the country using the pretext of a national emergency - and thereafter, in the absence of parliamentary opposition, bulldoze constitutional changes that would legislatively install an ethnocentric doctrine of "Malay dominance" in perpetuity - even if nobody has ever successfully determined what defines a Malay. Couldn't be the songkok and the kain pelekat, surely, or a penchant for sambal belacan? The fear that such racial violence could erupt again anytime the non-Malays begin to assert themselves beyond certain boundaries has been effectively used to ensure that the incumbent government keeps getting re-elected with its two-thirds majority (which, for the first time, it had lost in the 1969 general election, hence the resort to the atavistic politics of blood-in-the-streets).

Imagine the consequences of an unforeseen shift in what the mainstream media considers "newsworthy" that incontrovertibly reveals the hand of Dick Cheney behind the 9/11 atrocities. And following swiftly upon this, the public unmasking of how secret societies and Old Boys' networks have, since time immemorial, been deceiving and dividing humanity along artificially pumped-up ethnic and religious fault lines to maintain their power base on this planet, which they view as their private property, bequeathed them by a barbaric tribal deity. Not likely to happen in our lifetime, huh?

And what about Altantuya Shaariibuu, the 28-year-old Mongolian beauty who got a bit out of her depth in political intrigue and ended up in smithereens? The thing that truly mystifies me: how come we've only ever seen ONE official photo of her? She was said to have occasionally modeled. A few glam images found on the net were quickly dismissed as belonging to some popular Korean songstress.

Anyway, all Altantuya really wanted was what she saw as her rightful share of the booty. Her business partners probably didn't expect her to be so pushy; they thought she'd accept what was offered and leave well enough alone. They thought wrong. Altantuya was no angel. She felt she deserved top money for the extraordinary services she rendered. She was certainly a poor judge of character. Big boys involved in multibillion dollar arms deals don't like being pussywhipped by their mistresses.

Scene of the gruesome murder
It just got nastier and messier than anybody expected. It might have been a perfect murder if nobody had heard the loud bang in the middle of the night. I'm told some Orang Asli encamped in the vicinity were the first on the scene and they lodged a report... oh oh... tough shit! Somebody had already instructed some immigration officer to delete the computer record of Altantuya's arrival in the country. Somebody had authorized assigning ministerial bodyguards to do the dirty work. Somebody had also signed for the release of some C4 explosives.

But... could it somehow have been a form of Mongolian suicide? After all, the Japanese are fond of eviscerating themselves... maybe Mongolian women are adroit at blowing themselves up in dense jungle? Nice try, kiddo.

Stuffing money in the pockets is routine political behavior and most folks would avert their gaze and shrug it off as par for the course. However, shedding blood incurs heavy karmic consequences that inevitably bring down the high and mighty.

This is indeed the Time of Reckoning for the entire human race. Skeletons tumbling out of closets wherever you look. The CIA's role in the assassinations of JFK, RFK (and, I expect, JFK, Jr too) has recently come to light. That dirty business will sooner or later implicate George H.W. Bush (who joined the CIA during JFK's presidency and subsequently became top dog in the Agency under Gerald Ford). Long-term plans to seize the Iraqi and Iranian oilfields were being laid even then by George H.W. Bush - but their implementation would have to await the ascent to ultimate power of the Idiot Bastard Son.

Conspiracy theories and dynasties are fascinating, aren't they? Lee Kuan Yew and his son Hsien Loong. Abdul Razak (the "evil genius" behind May 13) and his son Najib. George H.W. and George W. Bush. Fascinating indeed. But what are we going to do when we discover they aren't just "theories"?

[First posted 1 July 2007]