Monday, November 25, 2013

UMNO'S HOUSE OF HORRORS (Part Three)

(Photo courtesy of Howsy)

NAJIB: UP TO MUSLIMS TO DECIDE ON SAIFUL'S ACTION

"According to our system, any individual accused of sodomy can clear his name the Islamic way or through the courts and Saiful has chosen the former. It is up to the people to make their own conclusions.

"I have said from the beginning that this issue is a personal matter between Saiful and Anwar and has nothing to do with the Barisan Nasional," Najib told reporters after meeting Umno's Permatang Pauh by-election machinery in Butterworth yesterday.


Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Come on, Najib, you gotta do better than that if you seriously intend to try your hand at stand-up comedy after your parole. So, the whole sleazy sodomy affair is, by your own admission, only a sandiwara (puppet show) to dissuade Malay voters from voting against Umno? In effect, it has EVERYTHING to do with Barisan Nasional's desperate fight for survival. The very fact that you were quoted right after you chaired an Umno meeting on the Permatang Pauh by-election makes your statement reek even stronger. If the entire matter were strictly "a personal matter" between Saiful and Anwar, why would every Umno big gun be making stupid, self-incriminating remarks about the ridiculous allegations? From the home minister to the deputy prime minister and even the prime minister himself - all of you have seen fit to stick your fat necks out "to ensure Saiful gets justice." How laudable... I mean, laughable!

Many of us got suckered into believing at first that you, Najib Razak, were personally responsible for orchestrating this pigheaded plot to fix Anwar. After all, you publicly admitted to having given "counsel" to Saiful Bukhari in your own house just before he lodged that mischievous police report. However, our best source of political gossip, Raja Petra Kamarudin, gleefully informs us that the real mastermind behind Sodomy II is Umno legal adviser Shafee Abdullah (pictured left).

Now that Shafee has been fingered and exposed, the police black ops against Anwar will have been scuttled - hence the decision to appeal to Malay sentiments by getting Saiful to swear on the Qur'an that Anwar Ibrahim forcibly sodomized him. What exquisite timing - right on the eve of nomination day for the Permatang Pauh by-election! Oooh, I can just picture a motley bunch of besongkoked Umno conspirators huddled together in secret conference rooms, drinking kopi-O kau and plotting and scheming Anwar's downfall...

Another influential blogger who calls himself Tulang Besi (Iron Bones) pinpoints Abdullah Badawi's detestable son-in-law and his fatcat capitalist cronies in the media as the ones responsible for this ill-conceived attempt to smear and neutralize both Anwar and Najib with a single scandal. Stands to reason, no prizes for guessing which smirking, slimy jerk once boasted he intends to be PM by the age of 40...

Not a hope in hell, Khairy!


[First posted 16 August 2008]

UMNO'S HOUSE OF HORRORS (Part Two)

SHAHRIZAT LAUNCHES A MAMAK-STYLE JIHAD!

From Malaysiakini: "Wanita Umno has reportedly declared a "jihad" or holy war to prevent opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim returning to Parliament in a by-election this month.

"It is a jihad because this individual should not be given the chance to destroy the country's political stability and prosperity," women's wing deputy chief Shahrizat Abdul Jalil said, according to
The Star newspaper.

Shahrizat, a former cabinet minister, lost her seat in Parliament to Anwar's daughter Nurul Izzah in landmark March elections that handed the opposition unprecedented gains against the ruling coalition.

"If we allow him to lead the country, he would lead us to destruction," she said as she launched the women's wing campaign for the Aug 26 by-election in Anwar's home state of Penang.


Oh, Shahrizat, Shahrizat! It saddens me to hear you say such horrible, wicked things about my esteemed friend Anwar Ibrahim. The only time I recall meeting you was at the launch of the last KL International Litfest. Remember what I told you? "Shahrizat, you're the only BN minister I don't mind being photographed next to!" I thought you were intelligent and charming and your kids were beautiful and friendly. But how I can maintain those positive feelings towards you now that you've revealed your true colors? You're just another corrupt and misguided Umno hypocrite. If you had any foresight or wisdom you would have quietly hopped over by now, instead of going down with the KD Umnoputra. I know Abdullah Badawi was very nice to you after you lost your parliamentary seat to Anwar's astoundingly attractive daughter, Nurul Izzah - he kept you on the Umno payroll and made sure you still earned a big fat salary as Ng Yen Yen's stand-in.

It's quite clear now you're only in politics for the money and false glamor. If you were sincere about serving the rakyat you'd have considered joining DAP, PKR, or even PAS! Umno is the party that has very nearly destroyed Malaysia through systemic corruption, unmitigated greed and total abuse of power - and a large portion of the credit for that goes to your Supermamak former PM!

Those of us whose perceptions haven't been clouded by BN's sleazy largesse view Anwar Ibrahim as the nation's best hope at this juncture for genuine reform. There isn't a single Umno politician we can trust to do what's required. 

Zaid Ibrahim made a feeble attempt to overhaul the judiciary and was instantly shot down by his Umno colleagues. Shahrir Samad no longer inspires at all. Indeed, Shahrir is now the Umno ghost that talks utter cock which nobody even bothers to quote. You were perhaps the last hope for Umno - and now you've blown it with your despicable misuse of the word "jihad"! It reveals how shallow, self-serving and narrow-minded your understanding of Islam actually is.

Well, the upside of it all is that we can now torpedo the Umno flagship without having to worry about collateral damage - because the sinking vessel is transporting nothing but soiled goods anyhow.

Action stations! Fire one! Fire two! Fire three!


[First posted 16 August 2008]

UMNO'S HOUSE OF HORRORS (Part One)

RIGHT: Pin-up shot of Saiful Bukhari in a baseball cap that has been circulating the internet; Pederasts Anonymous have expressed Socratic interest in this promising young man and invited him to be their mascot

SAIFUL BUKHARI AZLAN ON MALAYSIAKINI:

"I swore in the name of Allah at the Federal Territory Mosque this evening in accordance to the teachings of Islam and as advised by religious scholars and teachers that I was sodomised by Anwar Ibrahim."

What is Saiful saying? Islam teaches people to swear in the name of Allah (whose own credibility, credentials, and existence have yet to be established to everybody's satisfaction) whenever accused of any behavior deemed to be an offence? Any boy as pretty as Saiful will have had a long history of being "hit on" by males as well as females. By the age of 23 he ought to have learnt how to accept or refuse such erotic advances. To now claim he was forcibly sodomized by a 61-year-old man with a bad back defies belief - unless he was drugged and raped, which is a whole different scenario. Anyone who has ever attempted penetration of a tight anus will attest that this is virtually impossible without the the acquiescence, consent and wholehearted cooperation of the person to whom the anus belongs.

Penetration by force would result in tissue damage, bleeding and scarring easily detectable by even a cursory rectal examination - and we already have the sworn testimony of the good Burmese doctor at Hospital Pusrawi that no such signs of forced entry were discovered. Apparently a subsequent rectal examination of Saiful Bukhari at Hospital Kuala Lumpur also confirmed that there were no signs of forced entry. Saiful can swear on every book in the world till he's blue in the face - but that won't alter the results of the rectal examinations. Unless, of course, Saiful has an extremely accommodating and elastic anus that allows him to be sodomized by a rogue elephant and still show no physical signs.

Alpha blogger Raja Petra Kamarudin has disclosed on Malaysia Today: "At 2.30pm on Wednesday, 25 June 2008, Senior Assistant Commissioner (SAC) II Mohd Rodwan Mohd Yusof (shown right in a 1998 file picture) met Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan in room 619 of the Concorde Hotel in Kuala Lumpur. Prior to this secret meeting, Rodwan and Saiful spoke on the phone at least eight (8) times."

Now this is an extremely detailed disclosure which suggests that somebody within the police force is extremely unhappy with the dirty business at hand and has chosen to be RPK's "Deep Throat." I didn't hear any reporters questioning Saiful at yesterday's press conference about his connection with SAC Rodwan Yusof (who has been accused of helping Musa Hassan falsify evidence against Anwar Ibrahim in the 1998 sodomy allegation instigated by Mahathir). No doubt Saiful would have replied: "I will answer that in court later."

"The oath I've taken was done voluntarily and it was done to uphold the truth as a Muslim, a Malay and a Malaysian."


Saiful Bukhari sees himself as primarily a Muslim, then a Malay, and lastly a Malaysian. I'm sorry, Saiful, but being any of those doesn't add any credence whatsoever to your oath. The Umno chaps all claim to be Muslim, Malay, and Malaysian - and that has never stopped them from lying through every orifice just to cling on to power.

"I understand that if the allegations and oath that I've taken under the name of Allah are not true, I will be cursed by God and tragedy and curse will come upon my family and the generations after me forever."

Even if God lets you off light, Saiful, you can bet your arse you will be spat at and shunned by a lot of people for stooping so low just for a bit of cheap publicity and a "scholarship" from Umno. But please leave your fiancée out of this curse business - I'm sure she had no idea what she was in for. Curse your father (pictured right), if you like; he looks like someone already accursed.

"I've taken this oath to prove that my allegations are completely true. This is the best way for me to attain justice in the world and the hereafter and for me to redeem my pride and dignity as Allah is the only place where I can complain to."

Load of crap, boy! Taking that oath on the Qur'an proves only one thing: you're convinced that other Muslims will be inclined to believe you're telling the truth, and that's what this evil game is really about - to poison the minds of Muslim-Malay voters against Anwar Ibrahim, the greatest threat Umno has ever faced in its entire history. And if you truly feel Allah is your recourse, why did you bother going for a rectal examination at Hospital Pusrawi before lodging a police report on 28 June as instructed by your Umno handlers?

"I've done this for God and I took my oath in the house of God, that I was humiliated and sodomised by Anwar Ibrahim and I do not wish to lie to the world as he has done."

You twisted little shit, Saiful! Umno is NOT God! You've been offered filthy lucre to "sacrifice yourself" to save Umno from Anwar Ibrahim - and you saw a golden opportunity to attain global notoriety as Anwar's political assassin - exactly like Mark David Chapman believed he would forever be remembered as the fuckwit who shot John Lennon.

Saiful, an omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent God would already know what a "good" boy you are (no need for you to
sumpah on the Qur'an, that's only for show); an all-powerful God would have intervened to protect your chastity from being ravaged. God the omnipresent also resides in your anus and, for all we know, probably relishes the occasional rectal probe!

[First posted 16 August 2008]