KEMBALI KE BALI (Part One of a 4-part pictorial essay,)

In Bali you'll always find a majestic old tree beside every temple.

This magnificent green sanctuary that had shaped itself into a perfect archway

was spotted on my way to Ubud, just outside Batubulan 

(what a romantic name, Moonstone!)

On both sides of the road leading to Ubud you'll find the finest artisans in Asia,

a rich legacy of the Majapahit Empire which produced stonemasons 

comparable to those that built Angkor Wat, Khajuraho, and Tiahuanaco

A colossal statue, presumably of Rama, greets every visitor to Ubud

Painters, painters everywhere in Ubud; modern as well as traditional

Mask-makers too!

Member of the Balinese Royal Household at the Royal Temple in Ubud

Right: Ceremonial cow presides over ritual cremation of Balinese royalty.

Left: Five minutes outside the bustling tourist hub that Ubud has become, soothing sounds of running water and ducks romping in lush paddy-fields.

Women in Bentuyong, near Ubud, so alike the Orang Asli among whom I live

Hokkien chef in Ubud with two of his Balinese angel waitresses

Daily offerings to the Unseen Beings are an integral part of Balinese culture

I returned in 2007 to the magickal Island of Bali after an absence of 26 years (and for the third time in October 2010 for the Ninth Gate Activation of the 11:11 Doorway but that was an entirely different experience). 

In 2007 it was for only five days. But in 1981 I was there for all of five weeks, and each day was a Technicolor dream overflowing with adventure, romance, and delicious sensations. I'm gathering my thoughts and feelings so I can write in greater detail about the delicious invigoration and inspiration I felt. Meanwhile, I'll share some photos I took with my humble digital camera - a Sony Cybershot I bought in New York City in August 2004 and which has served me well for so many years.

PART TWO

[Originally posted 12 September 2007. Reposted 16 April 2014, 20 June 2020 & 20 February 2021]

Ten Puns for the Literate (repost)

1. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with... transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire... and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

4.  King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.

Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."

"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"

Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."

5. Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they had already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression... "He who has a Tate's is lost!"

6. A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

7. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

8. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a long voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

9. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

10. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

[Courtesy of V. Cornelius. First posted 25 July 2011, reposted 3 December 2013 & 4 December 2019]