Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Walt Disney Women... Vava-voooom! (revisited)

This is a confession of sorts. My 20-year-old son Ahau and I... we share the same taste in women.

Ever since his eyes could focus he's been fond of watching videos. An early favorite was Peter Pan, which he could happily watch several times a day. One day he discovered the rewind button on the VCR (those were pre-VCD/DVD days). That was it. Ahau became the Instant Replay Man, compulsively and obsessively replaying his favorite bits of every video.

One day, I caught the little tyke pressing his face to the TV screen. He was trying to kiss Tinkerbell. I had to laugh. When I was a kid, I was myself intensely intrigued by Peter Pan's sexy little sidekick.

X-rated Tinker Bell
The irresistibly cute pixie with the hourglass figure and gossamer wings and magic dust that could sweep you off your feet with happy, horny thoughts!

In fact, I named my second daughter after my childhood sex symbol - but when she grew up she decided to drop the "Tinker" and add an 'e' to the "Bell" - and it has worked out beautifully for her (see the glam shot she sent me at left...)

Ah, what an absolute prodigy he was, that fellow, Walter Elias Disney (1901-1966). His unmitigated genius deserves a series of in-depth studies - but this is not the time and place to dwell on this supremely inspired icon of animation art. Instead, I want to ramble on a little about the fetishistic femmes Mr Disney conjured from his fertile imagination. Remember, this is America in the early 1950s - the heyday of Life magazine's Norman Rockwell covers and clean-cut Sunday schoolkids, when the only erotic art you might find would be on the back of naughty playing cards. Overt sexuality wouldn't come into fashion until Hugh Hefner unleashed his Playboy Bunnies on the world in 1953 - the same year, incidentally, that Disney released Peter Pan.

Ahau's next major crush was on Ariel, the redhead with a hauntingly melodious voice and a fish tail. I could see why he adored Ariel, but she wasn't really my type, not even with legs. Too wishy-washy, the way she mooned over that cardboard cut-out prince. Now, if only Ariel had the street cred of the neurotic, waif-like mermaid in this sketch...

Belle, as in Beauty and the Beast, is something else. Feisty and admirable in her devotion to her eccentric inventor dad. A daughter after my own heart... and one who can surely bring out the, I mean, the best in any man.

But, ultimately - and both Ahau and I agree on this - it's Pocahontas we'd seriously love to poke. Indeed, we'd wed her without a moment's hesitation.

Her wild spirit, her incredible courage, and her ability to leap off waterfalls (not to mention her flawless anatomy) make her utterly irresistible to us both. Too bad she only seems to go for raccoons and Mat Sallehs* named John.

*Mat Salleh - local slang for Caucasians.

[First posted 25 March 2007, reposted 4 Februaery 2014]


mob1900 said...

Tinkerbell was my childhood's first choice til I saw some horror movie on fairies with huge pointy teeth which could climb walls too. I think it might be The Tooth Fairy or something. Little Mermaid was fishy but the seashells for bra was an inspiration. Poca... Poca could kick my butt plus the paddler she's holding looks 'nasty'. lolx

Unknown said...

Good one !! really funny Blog LOL

Anonymous said...

Forgot to mention that Ahau isn't only fixated on Walt Disney women... he's also had a long-running affair with, of all people, Mickey Mouse! Sad, isn't it? Here I am, ranting about the evils of Coca-Colonization... while my own kid is addicted to Mickey Mouse, Coke, and Pringles... vatudu?

Ak-Man said...

I'm a eighties baby, these girls were just cute. I wanted something more kick ass like Rogue and Storm from X-Men!! Thats what im talkin about!

Anonymous said...

Rogue and Storm aren't Walt Disney Women, are they? Pity! Why don't you blog about them? - and send me the link :-)

Leon said...

Hi Antares, I listed your blog tonight. Thanks for your support.

I wonder if the modern Tinkerbelle would wear jeans and have a crew-cut. :)

Sleekblackmercedes said...

Hi Pal - you are truly a man after my heart. Couldn't agree more on the pocahontas description. Now I am inspired to buy the CD man! LoL!!!

By the way I happen to love Manga / Anime - those comics where they draw the girls so sexily is really fantastic..

Always a pleasure to read ya man!



Madcap Machinist said...

Rogue is da bomb!

I had a friend who had the biggest crush on Ariel (we were 12 then) and he collected everything that had the little mermaid on it. We have lost contact and I wonder how he turned out :-)

Anonymous said...

Forget about all these hand-drawn cartoon women, guys... check out THE REAL THANG on my next blogpost! ;-) And, hey, thanks for jogging by my blog, appreciate it!

Anonymous said...

Walt Disney was an evil fascist turd. Before they had computer animation, he worked his animators practically to death, drawing cartoons for him for a pittance. He paid below minimum wage and sacked those who tried to unionise. Disney, McDs and all of Ameri-global monoculture is a blight upon God's green Earth! Repent, repent while there is still time! Succumb not to Disney's devious machinations!

Your Anti-TV Friend,
Ee Lynn.

Starmandala said...

Hee hee hee. You're probably right. Still you gotta admit that Walt's Pocahontas and Tinkerbell are pretty hot! Mickey Mouse is one big turn-off... dunno why Ahau loves dat stupid creature.

Anonymous said...

I love this post, thanks. I just wanted to make a comment about one thing. When I visited Disneyland in 2002 for the first time (I'm from Australia) I was shocked and deeply amused to see the Pinocchio ride was actually very BDSM, people in boxes, tied up, I wondered if that was also apart of Walt's fetishes and how many young minds had been impressed by the ride into so-called dark-pleasures.

Starmandala said...

Hi Anonymous! I always thought that of all Disney's classic features, Pinocchio had a particularly dark and disturbing edge to it - which I presume was echoed in the ride you refer to. Recently I saw a rabid preacher on YouTube vehemently condemn Walt Disney for his "satanic, subliminal messages." He
pointed out the word SEX written in clouds subtly inserted into one scene in 'The Lion King' - among many other erotic insinuations. Well, that repulsive preacherman was the best artistic endorsement of Disney I ever saw. My personal take on Disney: he was definitely gifted and inspired and, like all superb artists, attuned to the complexity of the human psyche, shadows and all. Whether he was a slave-driver as my friend Ee Lynn avers I don't know - guess a lot of ambitious individuals become like that and perhaps that what the Hollywood "success" juggernaut does to humans. Revisiting Disney's early masterpieces like 'Fantasia' I became aware of his strong undercurrent of pagan sympathies (which coincide nicely with my own). That might explain why fundamentalist Christians object so vigorously to Walt's work. Since Disney became a giant moneyspinning entertainment conglomerate, the name is merely a firmly entrenched trademark. I wouldn't want to work for the Disney Corporation - but they have such a dominant hold on film distribution many are forced to sign on with Disney just to get the best worldwide reach for their product.