Sunday, September 21, 2008

Is Syed Hamid Al-BARK and No-BITE?


Not too long ago I left a comment on somebody's blog comparing our clownish home minister, Syed Hamid Albar, to a bullmastiff. Turns out there may be more than a little truth in that remark made in jest. The home minister, after all, is ultimately responsible for the behavior of our police force and the way our "correctional facilities" are managed. There is absolutely no way Hamid Albar can escape being fully accountable for the thuggish tendencies of our infamous PDRM - and the bad rep the police have gained from long-standing reports of inhuman treatment of detainees. To date, these horror stories of ill-concealed sadism and various forms of psychopathological misbehavior encountered by anyone unfortunate enough to be arrested by the Malaysian police have mostly been limited to those of dark complexion, "low social standing," and those unfortunates detained without trial under the diabolical ISA.

If Teresa Kok's complaint is proven to be true - and I see no cause for her to lie about something like that, knowing her excellent track record for candor and frankness - it is evident that the level of psychosis within the home ministry has now reached alarming proportions. YB Teresa Kok is a respected and greatly admired Member of Parliament - not a snatch thief, kidnapper, rapist or bank robber. This is not to imply that it's all right to mistreat prisoners of lesser social status. Every human being deserves to be valued and treated with civility and compassion - even those suspected of serious crimes and venomous villains like that Javanese Toyol who keeps escaping from his botol and raising hell.

I shudder to think what hideous discomforts and distresses poor RPK may be enduring even as I type these words. His predilection for raw language notwithstanding, Raja Petra Kamarudin is a Yang Mulia, a member of the Selangor Royalty, albeit reputed to be a bit of a maverick. RPK has made extremely serious allegations against certain Umno warlords. Instead of investigating the truth of RPK's courageous accusations, the police have further justified public resentment against the Umno/BN government with their senseless flurry of political arrests.

Ten years ago, what police chief Rahim Noor did to sacked and arrested deputy prime minister Anwar Ibrahim while he was blindfolded and handcuffed was an act of unpardonable cowardice, compounded by the ugliest species of malice. Rahim Noor initially lied about the whole thing but when a Royal Commission of Inquiry into the shameful affair caught him out, the IGP said he lost his temper because Anwar called him Bapak Anjing (The Dogfather). Other witnesses present during the vicious attack testified that all they heard Anwar say was "Stop hitting me!" Rahim Noor's "Freudian slip" reveals that deep down these rabid cops are ashamed of their own canine lineage, which is why they fear and hate dogs so intensely. Think about it: what other species is so unquestioningly loyal to their masters?

As home minister as well as prime minister at the time, Mahathir Mohamad has yet to be held accountable for suggesting Anwar inflicted the black eye on himself just to gain public sympathy. It is reasonably certain that an attempt was made to kill Anwar slowly by arsenic poisoning while he was in prison. The Umno/BN government is not only corrupt and inept - it is also deplorably cruel and, occasionally, even murderous. We are morally bound to demand that the ISA be abolished and all political detainees be unconditionally released from custody with immediate effect. By extension we are also morally bound to INSIST that Umno/BN surrenders the reins of government to whoever commands the majority of seats in Parliament - without resorting to barbaric acts of sabotage, just to cling on to power misappropriated from the public.

And if the home minister refuses to heed the surging groundswell of public opinion - local as well as international - and persists in his rabid efforts to keep biting bloggers, government critics, protest organizers and opposition politicians - then we really are left with no option but to go beyond simple castration. We shall have to have him put down with a lethal injection.

Of course, we would greatly prefer that he hands in his resignation without further ado or fuss - and we can hardly expect a public apology from someone of his ilk with such poor pedigree.

This preposterous report in today's Star about the police serving dog food to an honorable Member of Parliament brings to mind a classic story I've retrieved from my blog archives...
THE PURINA DIET
by Hamid Albark

I was at the supermarket buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no..... I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.