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2. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
3. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVfd72d9E-ochEP8YYVlPFmrkljJEkxv90GgNe9kzMyjTAp8vdOdEG4LAAm04QLGtsSoUUk1zX-rSi5ViSVJOhSiH5gdB_JaAHgf6lHu3bEUGhHKcLJ_OSpWD5vpMRJy3XE-IuFpOqzIxH/s200/MeatGrinder.jpg)
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2V8Qjabp7p9rZ8CrhAJtfXfTWOIqZbXIQpvteNEBCt2zxcl5UPy5nxDVl2ZHR4dZNZfPuxVND2r9jxwv3-ML5_4N-mm0zc8QVR2HZkPN2ci5fA6iarDL4JiCf-mBOd45YPAZTZruOq4U0/s200/Eyehole.gif)
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju-BT_Hc6olSYJPsmbMtnY_4hfuPLqJH-UH1kJZz4QOCY88e5NDxY8VZtd_lh2ipWpuHz_LJHfqV0UT_6eedqLRYu77jhCZTYEEfyCcuqvV6Ottodd44Rx6H6ngmqo0E0-nJxQzi5pADZj/s200/GrassBeetle.jpg)
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw58xC0ziJiJYJkfNx1G4jKxlqAJTnky6yPLvUYdOjjl2mkD2wXDN7UjUCqeqB0t_SQyOZtbpwYcx9bX9EoSedQaJSIiNqsYE4IcNDdyw9HQh_8r4SbTtUuoZ6k1qUOti5Hi9zH8xaMyEH/s200/safe_sex.jpg)
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
19. A backward poet writes inverse.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqTVvJA6bP26qCbRTrlLSj2eRZ3GR_nv7W8XRGrG7UJ5CsZWZ29YydNu3wyd1lYs1aoI0GGwFcDDQujXKj1e8Mf0fD6SYskmvHkMVJCS_qzzqGAnNc8_gx8-6d_Q4OoQrxb9_g_adtW4vO/s200/Cannibal-skull.jpg)
21. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKaoi39Emgb5Q4gUfHgkS8_ymtA99mOtt8NAoDkLLbC1inQb9D9eBbUckLUT5TII2cr-0W7vkbeb8E2zGCtFwpBM9IANtxX4jyZPTOGgoxgcYVMejboyHsqzQlK2I4NgiI7AENORzGFTxX/s200/count_von_count.jpg)
[Contributed by Vernon Cornelius]