1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his enormous girth from too much pi.2. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
3. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
19. A backward poet writes inverse.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.21. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.[Contributed by Vernon Cornelius]
