Wednesday, February 17, 2010

TURN YOURSELVES IN NOW, PEOPLE!

If you've ever indulged in anal or oral sex, know that you have committed a grave offence under Malaysian laws, and it's punishable by up to 20 years in prison and possibly a few strokes of the rotan. I suggest you turn yourself in immediately. Has your husband or boyfriend performed cunnilingus on you? Report him at once to the Royal Malaysian Police!



Imagine what would happen if 13,000,000 law-abiding Malaysians were to queue up in front of every Balai Polis throughout the country, waiting to lodge a report against themselves or their sex partners for committing the heinous crime of butt-fucking, cock-sucking and/or cunt-licking... think the home minister can handle such a situation?


Now ask yourself why only 1 Malaysian has ever been charged with sodomy? Is this not a blatant case of selective prosecution?

Come on, Jibby... drop the case and pack your bags. It's hopeless, you will never win this battle. Even if you do get a few punches in before you go down, you will lose the war for sure. We know you married a real battleship - a diesel-powered submarine, some snigger - but when she springs a leak.... uh-oh... it's gonna be blub-blub-blub-blub-blub for both of you all the way down.

16 comments:

Planet of the Monyets said...

LOL. Can you give me directions to the nearest police station ?

backStreetGluttons said...

We will bring all our girl and woman friends to see the policewoman this afternoon for some fun

Anonymous said...

is the 'sodomy trial' JUDGE guilty too !!??

Anonymous said...

how about the 1st & 2nd ladies ah !!??

semuanya OK kot said...

In Bolehland, your wildest wish may come true. Since the solution to most inefficiencies is to set up yet more departments and projects (a la GTP), you can expect a new tribunal to review such matters in depth. In this case, the complaintant or surrendering criminal may be told that his should produce a high-quality video to prove the crime. But then again, it all depends... A couple who produced a video showing their maid physically abusing their baby were told that the video was not sufficient evidence to pursue the case.

One of the important principles of Bolehland is to "stimulate the economy" by purchasing. In this case, we can go all out for video cameras to lend to the public to gather evidence on themselves - their own cameras being deemed invalid. Alteratively, grants can be given for special people to operate recording services.

petai goreng said...

Antares,authorities may want solid (?soild) proof.so better to do it in front of some witnesses,film the whole thing.

ayamgilltee2 said...

In this case, even Jibby has to queue up at the balai....hey he also had some 'belakang' encounter with Altantuya.

Gerald Wee Eng Kian said...

Film the whole show? Goodness, that will bankrupt RTM, TV3 and ASTRO in one go. Why watch the substandard drama on the tube when we can make our own? This would mean that the medium of independent arts can finally take off. All that's needed is a cunning linguist and a fellow Teo.

Another view, an intimate act between 2 [or more] people taken incognito is not cause for scandal. In Bolehland it represents political resurrection.

Here's i'm wondering why it does not happen more often.

Singam said...

Selective prosecution presupposes guilt on the part of the accused.

In the face of medical evidence that there was no penetration, the charge of sodomy continues to be pursued.

This is clearly not a matter of what was done nor even whether it was done. It is a matter of who is to be done in.

This more like targeted persecution.

ktteokt said...

No, I say let him win the battle but lose the WAR!

Gan said...

hypocrites la ...

I wonder whether the prosecuting team dare to swear that they have NEVER EVER indulge in it before esp oral sex !

Wee Phak Yew said...

Haiyaaa.....!!
Gua balu baca ini posting maa,sikalang gua lasa manyak takot loh..Tapi gua mau tanya satu, kalu itu isap sendili punya lancau atak salah ka?? Tolong celita aa,gua manyak takot maa...!!OH, satu lagi kawan, kalu itu nyilat-nyikat amoi punya cibai pon salah ka??? Haiyaa! Tolong nyawap ah!!

petai goreng said...

taukeh phak yew,kalau kita tak pangil pelempuam buat tapi dia mahu buat sama jantan siapa polis tangkap?

donplaypuks® said...

I confess.

I had unpenetrating protoscopy KY Jelly sex all for a pair of black Levi jeans. IGP, come and get me!!

dpp
We are all of 1 race, the Human Race

Jane Doe said...

Oral and anal sex is illegal? You mean I'm now a criminal??

Man. I think the guilt is biting me, heck it's eating me. Oh yeah, baby, don't stop.

OH YEAH!!!

Anonymous said...

"If he stamps his feet, I will shudder."
-$osmah on Najib

Now we know how she gets her orgasms