Friday, May 27, 2011

Clown vs Clown ~ by Ismail Dahlan

Written by Ismail Dahlan, Malaysia Chronicle

Reading one of the mainstream media newspapers today, we came across an intriguing comment by Nazri Aziz, the Parliament and Miscellaneous Affairs Minister, where he had said that Ibrahim Ali was a clown.

It was very strange because we had always thought that Nazri was a clown. Could there be two of them? Is there some deep-seated professional rivalry between these two clowns? Is there no honor among clowns?

We have always liked clowns, and when we were a little older and could understand them, comedians. Yet we had had no inkling that Ibrahim Ali was a clown. All this time we had considered him to be merely a racist demagogue and ignored him.

Now we are informed by no less than a Minister that he is a clown, and this is a Minister who should know. Could this really be true? We were determined to investigate.

We first used that foremost investigative tool, and googled him. We could find few references to him as a clown, though it is clearly not the first time that he is being called that. However we find that he is often referred to as a frog. Could it be that there is such a thing as a clown frog? It was most mysterious.

Studying a photo of him, we find he looks entirely human. There is some resemblance perhaps, but surely no one would be so mean as to call him a frog just because he looks a little like one. His political history however was more illuminating; it showed him jumping from Umno to Semangat 46 to Independent to PAS to Independent.

The initials of the parties he has joined, since Malaysians are fond of using initials to identify the next Prime Minister, are USIPI. Using a complex mathematical formula, we derive that the next party he will jump to will start with D.

Going through the list of political parties, we find that the party that starts with D is DAP. So! Ibrahim Ali is going to join DAP next.

This, we assume, is because they have announced that they will be giving seats to Malay candidates. And they have been winning elections. While Ibrahim Ali needs to win the next election, which won't happen if he stands as an independent. No other party will touch him, but the DAP is desperate for Malay members, and Ibrahim Ali is desperate to win. It is a perfect match!

After more painstaking investigation, of which details we will spare you, we came to the following conclusions. Nazri is right, Ibrahim Ali is a clown, but he is a sad one. Nazri is without doubt also a clown, but he has the edge over Ibrahim Ali, as he is part of a circus.

And with Samy Velu not around to threaten his position, Nazri will continue to be the clown-in-chief, until he is defeated, in Padang Rengas, which, thankfully, may be soon.