Saturday, September 15, 2012

Everyone was offended. But nobody died. Take it easy, folks!

No one murdered because of this image

Following the publication of the image above, in which the most cherished figures from multiple religious faiths were depicted engaging in a lascivious sex act of considerable depravity, no one was murdered, beaten, or had their lives threatened, sources reported Thursday.

The image of the Hebrew prophet Moses high-fiving Jesus the Christ as both are having their erect penises vigorously masturbated by Ganesha, all while the Hindu deity anally penetrates Buddha with his fist, reportedly went online at 6:45 p.m. EDT, after which not a single bomb threat was made against the organization responsible, nor did the person who created the cartoon go home fearing for his life in any way.

Though some members of the Jewish, Christian, Hindu, and Buddhist faiths were reportedly offended by the image, sources confirmed that upon seeing it, they simply shook their heads, rolled their eyes, and continued on with their day.

[Source: The Onion]

Last night I watched some footage on AlJazeera of frenzied mobs going on the rampage in... I don't even remember where... Egypt? Tunisia? Yemen? Sudan? Hard to believe that all this violent outrage was triggered by a 13-minute trailer on YouTube of quite possibly the worst movie ever made by a completely dubious character named Bacile... or is it Becile, as in "I'm Becile"? I doubt more than a handful have seen the complete movie - or if it even exists.

The whole thing smacks of yet another Black Ops project designed to catalyze unrest and upheaval in the Middle East and thereby provide an excuse for further military intervention. It's also possible that there exists a fanatical cabal of well-heeled fundamentalists who are eager to precipitate some sort of Armageddon and Final Apocalypse scenario just so they can get to Heaven sooner - or at least reap vast profits from their investments in defense industries.

That's right, these idiots want to create Hell on Earth... rather than Heaven! Don't worry, folks... they've already been quarantined. So relax and enjoy your weekend.

[Thanks to Karen Lea for alerting me to the hilarious piece in The Onion]